


On the Beach at Night [Nagito x Reader]

by 88exile



Category: Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Super Dangan Ronpa 2, Super Dangan Ronpa 2.5
Genre: Angst, Classical Music, Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, Female Reader, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Memory Loss, POV Third Person, Piano, Reader is the Ultimate Composer, Recovery, Slight love triangle, Songwriting, Unrequited Love, violin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-06-26 21:42:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 46,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15671868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/88exile/pseuds/88exile
Summary: He fills your heart with a beautiful song of hope and despair. Will he ever hear it?





	1. Awake

"Hey...can you hear me? Are you okay?"

Nagito Komaeda's was the first face she saw after waking up on the beach. His hair was a pale white color, but in the sunlight, it almost looked like there was a hint of pink. His silvery-green eyes were wide with concern as he gazed down at her.

"...you seem pretty out of it. To be honest, I'm also...no, everyone else feels the same too. Ever since we got put in this weird situation"

She blinked a few times; his face finally came into focus. His skin was so pale, it almost looked like he was made of porcelain. Something about seeing his face in this moment brought her a surprising amount of comfort, even though he was just a stranger. He extended his hand and offered to help her up off the sandy shore. He introduced himself as the Ultimate Lucky Student, a talent only given to the student who gains admission to Hope's Peak Academy via lottery. In return, she introduced herself.

"I'm (Y/N), the Ultimate Composer. I compose everything from songs you hear on the radio, to symphonies performed by entire orchestras. The songs are inside of me and I just write them down on paper." She proudly declared.

"Amazing" he replied genuinely, "so you must be world famous!"

"Well, actually..." She paused for a moment, looking down at her feet. "The great artists who perform my songs are the real famous ones. I mostly just stay in the shadows with little recognition. But as long as the world gets to hear my songs... my stories... then I'll always be happy"

"I'd love to hear them. I can't even begin to imagine all the hope they must bring to everyone who is lucky enough to hear them" He smiled at her "But for now we should find the others"

She agreed with him and began to follow behind, not realizing how limp her legs still were. She lost her footing on the uneven sand, but Nagito was quick to grab onto her hand before she could fall any further.

"Are you okay to walk? I could carry you." He offered.

"No that's okay, I—" but before she could finish her sentence, he hoisted her up on his back with little effort and continued trekking through the sand. She wanted to refuse and be defiant, but she remembered how frail she still felt after waking up. _How long was I passed out? Was I drugged?_ she thought. _How did I get here? Where am I?_ the more she tried to remember how she got in this current situation, the more disoriented she felt. She decided to just relax her head against this strange boy who was currently carrying her on his back across what seemed to be a tropical island.

_Maybe it's just a dream?_

\--

It wasn't a dream. It was a nightmare. (Y/N) and all her other classmates were told they were going to be participating in a killing game. Monokuma, the Monobeasts, everything felt like it was a scene from a terrible horror movie. Everybody had already retired to their cabins for the night, including (Y/N). The cabin was just one small room with a few furnishings, but she took no time to inspect it. She immediately made her way to the bed against the wall, where she slammed herself down face-first.

 _Why?_ she thought. _Why me? Why us? A killing game? I can't trust anyone here..._

So why couldn't she stop thinking of him?

Before she could let her inner thoughts get in the way, she lifted herself off the bed and let her legs carry her towards the exit.

\--

Nagito was startled by a sudden knock on his door. He wasn't quite asleep yet, but he had started to drift off before the knocking started. It was nearly midnight; the moonlight was peeking through a crack in the curtains. Before he could fully get out of bed, the knocking stopped. Regardless, he decided to open the door.

"(Y/N)?" he whispered when he saw her. She had started to walk in the opposite direction from his cabin.

"Nagito, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...I shouldn't have knocked...it's late...and I—" she struggled to formulate a full sentence, but he still understood what she was trying to say.

"It's okay," he flashed her a quick smile, but he could sense something was bothering her "Or is it okay? Are you okay, (Y/N)? Did something happen?" his voice was full of concern.

"Yes, well, yes and no..." she responded. "I'm not hurt or anything if that's what you're worried about. I just couldn't sleep is all. And I'm scared to be alone right now ever since this "game" has started"

"I think we all feel that way. Do you want to stay here tonight?" he asked calmly.

"Is that allowed?" she squeaked nervously, trying to find a reason to decline. As much his company would make her feel at ease, she was afraid of what everyone else would think if they found out she was sleeping in his room.

"I saw nothing in the e-handbook about it. You can sleep on the bed if you'd like, and I'll take the floor."

She never vocally accepted the offer, but instead answered by stepping into the cabin and closing the door behind them.

"I'll take the floor." She demanded. "This is your room."

After a bit of back and forth about the subject, they came up with a compromise. So now they were both lying on the bed, staring at the canopy above them. He finally decided to break the silence.

"So why did you choose to come here when you were scared? You trust me not to murder you?" He turned on his side to face her and propped himself up with his elbow.

"I don't." she replied, still lying on her back. "Maybe I was just willing to take the risk."

"You have so much hope, (Y/N). I expect nothing less from an Ultimate student like you." He sighed quietly.

"But you're an Ultimate student too."

"With a useless talent. I'm useless trash compared to all of you." He yawned and sunk back down onto his pillow, still facing her.

"You're not useless to me right now. You helped me on the beach, you're letting me sleep with you..." she couldn't help but blush at the phrasing of her words.

"(Y/N) ..." he mumbled. She turned to face him, only to see him fast asleep. She wasn't far behind him; the quiet lull of his snores sent her into a deep, comfortable sleep.

\--

Nagito woke up to find himself bound by limbs, wrapped tightly around his torso. (Y/N) was still asleep, but she had entangled herself around him during the night. He tried to carefully slip out of her grasp while avoiding waking her up, but it was no use. He was stuck.

"Good morning," he whispered. She let out a small moan as she came to her senses.

"G'mor'in" she mumbled. When she realized how she was positioned, she immediately let go of him. "Nagito! I'm sorry! I'm so used to sleeping with a stuffed animal..." she apologized quickly.

"It's fine." His smile was just as cheerful even in the early morning hours. "You didn't have to stop, to be honest...it was cute," before she could respond, he reached out and tucked a loose strand of her messy (H/C) hair behind her ear and chuckled softly. "I think I'm going to go take a shower now. You're more than welcome to sleep in if you'd like."

"I think I'll go back to my cabin and do the same. Thank you for letting me stay, Nagito"

"Anytime, I mean it."


	2. Nocturne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs featured:  
> [Nocturne](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9E6b3swbnWg)  
> [Arabesque](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yh36PaE-Pf0)

Even the Ultimate Lucky Student was subject to some bad luck once in a while. He drew the straw for getting to clean the abandoned building in preparation for Byakuya's party that night. He had already finished cleaning most of the dining hall, but he still had a few preparations left to make. In search of some extra supplies, Nagito discovered a previously unentered room at the end of the dimly lit hallway. He cracked the door open and peeked into the room. As soon as he saw it, he knew right away he had to go get her.

"(Y/N)!" he knocked at her cabin door eagerly. She answered after a short moment. "I have a surprise for you,"

"What is-" before she could finish, he grabbed her wrist and starts pulling her along.

"This better be good for how fast you're rushing me here!" she huffed as they finally approached the door in the abandoned building. Ending the suspense, he finally opened the door and flipped on the light switch, revealing the dusty-looking grand piano in the center of the room. Her eyes widened, but her expression looked slightly pained, which was not the reaction he was expecting from her. Nevertheless, he thought he would try his luck and ask her the question.

"Will you play a song for me, (Y/N)?"

"Nagito.. I.." she hesitated.

"What is it?"

"I...I can't play in front of other people..." her eyes averted his hopeful gaze and looked down towards the worn out wooden floor beneath them.

He remained silent, but he looked at her inquisitively. She could feel his eyes on her, waiting for an explanation.

"I get too nervous...and I forget the notes...sometimes I even pass out. That's why I only compose the music. I can't be in the spotlight, I... can't... perform" she choked out, trying her best to hold back the tears that were forming.

"Hey, hey don't be sad. It's just me you're playing for, not a whole audience. What if I close my eyes?" he walked over to the piano and took a seat on the bench. He turned back at her, smiling with closed eyes, and patted the bench next to him. Her hands were trembling already; everything in her mind was telling her she was incapable of playing, but his smile looked so encouraging. She wanted to look away, but instead she sat down next to him. There was very little space between them, given the size of the bench. His warmth was radiating next to her, and she could have sworn he scooted a little closer to her after she sat down. She slowly lifted her hands to the ivory keys, but they were weak and trembling.

"I'm sorry for pressuring you" he said sadly, "you shouldn't listen to someone like me..."

"W-what do you mean?"

"I'm just talentless trash and I'm probably not even worthy to hear you play" he leaned over and rested his head on her shoulders. His unruly tufts of hair felt soft against her neck, which caused her to shiver slightly. Why was this boy so eager to hear her play? Why was he so close to her? a million questions ran through her head at the speed of light.

Without thinking, her thumb finally weighed down onto the black key, striking a quiet note that resonated throughout the small music room. There was a pause before continuing, but soon, her fingers warmed up to the keys, basking in the familiar feeling of playing. _How long had it been since I touched a piano?_ she thought to herself. Nagito kept his eyes closed and continued resting his head on her shoulder; she could feel him relax into her as she kept playing each note. The movement of her arms rocked him slowly, lulling him into a deeper state of relaxation. When she finished, she closed her eyes, but that didn't stop the tears from streaming down her cheeks. Her hands were still shaking, but she couldn't remove them from the piano.

"(Y/N), that was amazing. Did you write that song?"

"No, sorry. That was Chopin. Nocturne, Opus 9, number 2. I don't think I'm ready to play one of my pieces...they're just... too personal when I play them. I hope you don't mind" Nagito wrapped both of his arms around her waist in response and pulled her against his shirt.

"Thank you so much, (Y/N). I wouldn't mind if that was the last song I ever heard"

Still startled from the sudden embrace, she let out a muffled response.

"Don't say things like that, I'm sure it won't be the last" She finally found the strength in her arms to return the embrace. Her heart was racing, and she swore she could feel his heart beating just the same.

"It won't be if you play one more song..." he gently lifted her chin up to face his gleaming smile. She sighed and released him to rest her fingers on the keys once more.

"Y'know, I haven't played the piano for anyone before. Not until now."

"Nobody? Not even your parents? A teacher? Anyone?" he asked, almost a hint of doubt in his tone.

"Not directly, anyways. I never let anyone in the room while I played or composed. My parents may have listened from outside the door, but nothing more than that" Before Nagito could ask another question, she interrupted him.

"One of my favorites, Arabesque number one by Debussy" and without any hesitation, her fingers started climbing up and down the keys flawlessly. The way the notes would ascend and descend was almost dream-like, as if the notes themselves were tangible, floating up from her fingertips and caressing him like a gentle wind.

"Shouldn't you get back to cleaning, by the way?" She asked after finishing the song, the last chord still ringing in the air.

"Sorry, you're right! How stupid of me. I won't waste any more of your time"

"It wasn't a waste. thank you for... encouraging me to play"

"But why were you able to play for me of all people?"

"I don't know. I guess it just felt right. I'm confused about it too... but I'm happy" she spoke genuinely, he could hear it in her voice.

"I'm happy you're happy." he said with a smile. "but you should get out of here until the party starts. I still have a lot to do."

"I could help you?" she said in a questioning tone.

"No, that's okay. Someone like you shouldn't be doing dirty work. Leave that for talentless scum like me."

"You're not-" but before she could finish her sentence, he began guiding her towards the exit.

"I drew the unlucky straw, so I deserve this" he spoke fast and continued leading her out, the smile never leaving his face.

How could someone be so happy about cleaning? she thought

"I'll see you tonight" he spoke from the other side of the threshold, one hand on the door. Before she could react, he reached his free hand behind her head and pulled her close. He pressed his lips against her forehead and held them there for a moment; she could feel her face becoming redder by the second. He pulled away and waved at her one more time before quickly closing the door.


	3. Breakfast

Two people were dead. Byakuya and Teruteru were dead because of Nagito. He had set everything up to commit a murder at the party that night, but the plan backfired and Teruteru became the culprit instead. During the class trial, (Y/N) saw a different side of Nagito, one she wished she never had to see again. All of his normal self-loathing and rambles about hope were amplified. His mind was infected by delusions of hope that could only be achieved through despair.

_Is this what despair feels like?_ she thought, _Nagito...what happened to you?_

His words from after the class trial still echoed in her mind:

"If you hate me, I don't mind you killing me! I've already prepared myself to become your stepping stone!"

His eyes were not the same shimmering green color she remembered. They now housed something dark and twisted that instilled fear deep within her. His laughter sounded desperate, like the shrill cackles of someone who had nothing left to lose. The smile on his face was now jagged and unnerving and brought no comfort to (Y/N) the way it did just a day before. Even his complexion looked sickly and pale. During most of the trial, she couldn't even bear to look at him. Eventually she felt like she couldn't hear anyone's voice. All the arguing became muffled, like they were trying to speak underwater. Everything was a blur; it happened so fast.

_Dead, they're both dead. It could have been me._

She was just sleeping in the same room as Nagito. He had her alone in the abandoned building. He had many chances to murder her, but he didn't. The one person who made her feel safe was now just another person to fear. Was there any hope at all?

_This is despair._

After everyone had finally dispersed from the trial grounds, (Y/N) was the only one still lingering behind. She couldn't find the energy to lift her feet off the ground. Instead, she collapsed to the floor. Her knees ached from the impact on the solid concrete, but the pain was almost welcoming compared to the other feelings that flooded her senses.

"(Y/N)?" a quiet voice beckoned out to her from across the room. She recognized the voice as Hajime Hinata, the boy who had lead everyone through the class trial.

"I noticed you didn't walk out when everyone else did. I wanted to make sure you got back alright." He explained as he made his way over to her and crouched down to her level. "We should get you back to your cabin, okay?" He gently grabbed onto her elbow and started to lift her to her feet. At this point, she was too apathetic to put up a fight. She submitted and stood the rest of the way up on her own, using what little motivation she had left. They walked back to the hotel together in silence.

\--

The air was heavy with sorrow the next morning. Nobody seemed to be acting like their usual selves. Some tried too hard to act normal, which just made things seem more out of the ordinary. (Y/N) had already made the decision to not leave her bed today. That plan was interrupted by a knock on the door. When she answered, she was greeted by Hajime again.

"Breakfast?" he asked. She wasn't sure why he decided to show up at her door this morning of all mornings, but she was a little thankful for a reason to leave the cabin, as much as she didn't want to.

"Give me a moment, I'll be right out." After a quick change of clothes, she headed out the door to walk to the restaurant with Hajime.

"You feeling any better today?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"Huh? Oh, yeah I guess so ." She replied emotionlessly. When they entered the restaurant, it was emptier than usual. She assumed she wasn't the only one who wasn't in the mood for breakfast this morning, given everything that happened yesterday.

"Hey, (Y/N)! Can you come here a sec?" a female voice called out to her from a table against the wall of the restaurant. It was Mahiru Koizumi.

"What is it?" (Y/N) asked.

"I have a favor to ask of you."

"Depends..."

Mahiru looked down at the tray of food on the table. There was a single slice of toast and a glass of milk.

"Could you bring this to Nagito?"

"What? Why me? Why does he need his food brought to him? I don't—" before she could carry on, Mahiru explained in a hushed voice.

"Kazuichi and Nekomaru tied him up in the abandoned building. They thought he was a threat to everyone. But I figured someone needs to bring him food, or he'll starve to death."

"So why don't you do it then?" (Y/N) responded angrily.

"Because you two are close."

"Why would you think that? I know him as much as you do. He's your classmate too, y'know." (Y/N) argued.

Mahiru reached for the camera that was strapped over her shoulder. After pressing a button a few times, she showed the screen to (Y/N). It was a picture of Nagito and herself standing in the doorway of the abandoned building, his lips pressed to her forehead.

"You sure you guys aren't close?" she said smugly. (Y/N) was furious.

"Delete that now! Why were you watching us?!" she attempted to reach for the camera, but Mahiru was quick to pull it away.

"Bring him this food and I promise I'll delete it."

"Are you seriously blackmailing me right now?" (Y/N) groaned as she picked up the tray and headed for the abandoned building. She figured if anyone found out she was with Nagito that day, she might be associated with his murderous plans.

_Damn you, Mahiru..._


	4. Promise

There he was, lying on the floor, his legs bound with rope and his arms chained behind his back. He was still wearing the same unnerving grin on his face, his eyes looked at her eagerly as if he'd been waiting for her to arrive.

"Ahh, could it be? (Y/N) took time out of her busy day to bring food to little ol' me?" he said, unblinking. "Wow, I'm so happy!"

"Cut it out, Nagito. I'm just here to bring you food. I don't want to talk" she replied, avoiding eye contact with him.

"Do you hate me now, (Y/N)? he asked her. This time, his smile disappeared. She sat the tray down next to him and ignored his question.

"Goodbye." She turned towards the door, but he interrupted.

"Wait! (Y/N)! Aren't you going to feed me?"

"Wha-" she turned around to face him again.

"My arms are tied up, and to be honest, I'd be a little embarrassed if anyone besides you were to feed me." His smile was gentler now, and his eyes were starting to radiate their normal color again. Color flushed to his face and he almost looked like the boy she remembered.

"Nagito..." she hesitated.

"Please?" he begged. The softness in his voice was tugging at her emotions. She didn't want to leave him. She wasn't ready to give up just yet. She knelt down beside him and gently lifted his head upright against her, so he could eat without choking. Nagito took a bite of the toast she held in front of his mouth. After the toast was finished, she carefully tried to tip the glass of milk for him to drink, but some of it spilled down his chin anyways.

"I'm sorry," she quickly reached for a napkin to clean him off.

"It's okay," he smiled at her again, "I know you'll take care of me, (Y/N)."

"Well, you're done eating now." She started to slip out from underneath him.

"Wait, please! Can you stay with me a little longer?" he nestled closer into her lap and looked up at her. The sparkle in his eyes returned. _Was that a glimmer of hope?_ She knew it was a bad idea to give in, but as much as she didn't want to admit it, it was nice to be close to him again, even in the current circumstance. Instead of responding with words, she lightly ran her fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes and relaxed for a moment, but he couldn't remain silent for long.

"You never answered my question earlier, (Y/N)"

"Hmm?" she really didn't want to speak, she was enjoying the silence they were sharing.

"Do you hate me?"

"I don't know." She replied. It was the best answer she could give him right now.

"I wouldn't blame you if you did. I don't deserve to have someone like you in my life."

"I just want to know the truth, Nagito. Why did you plan to murder someone?" she almost couldn't choke out the last sentence. It was painful to remember the class trial and the execution. But she had to know why.

"I didn't plan to murder someone." He explained calmly. "I was planning to be murdered." The way he said it so casually made (Y/N)'s heart sink to her stomach.

"What...Why?" she asked in disbelief.

"I knew my plan would get figured out, and I was counting on being killed by the person who found out about my plan in order to stop me. Turns out my luck allowed my life to be spared," he laughed dryly.

"Why would you want to be killed?" she asked. She could feel tears trying to escape her eyes at the thought of someone wanting so badly to die. Especially someone she cared about so much.

"Because I was tired of being worthless. I wanted to have use to you all. I wanted to be the stepping stone for hope. I wanted my death to bring hope to you all as you worked together to solve the crime and escape this island." He paused for a moment and stared blankly at the ceiling. "But here I am, alive and back to being worthless. Maybe I'm not so lucky after all..."

"You aren't worthless to me. I like you being alive." She could no longer hold back the tears.

"Then I'll stay alive a bit longer for you." He said it like he still had plans to die soon. It made (Y/N) feel uncomfortable, but she let him continue. "but you have to promise me one thing: when I die, will you write a song about me?" he asked.

"I promise I will..." she whispered. "but you aren't going to die here. I won't let you. We'll make it off this island, okay? Let me help you." the tears fell even harder. She was sure some of them were dripping onto Nagito, but he didn't seem to care.

"So much hope, just as I expected from you, (Y/N). You never disappoint me." He smiled up at her and she noticed a few tears of his own were escaping his eyes. He seemed so genuine. _Does hope really make him this happy?_ she thought to herself.

"If I could hug you right now, I would." He continued, "but as you can see, I'm not in the best position for that."he moved his arms enough to rattle the chains behind him.

"I'm sorry I can't untie you," she sniffled, finally wiping away the tears. "I don't want the others to distrust me, more than they probably already do."

"I understand. You should probably get going before anyone gets suspicious."

"Right." She agreed and finally stood up. "I'll bring you dinner?" she asked.

"Can't wait" he beamed.


	5. Unbound

Mahiru was dead. It had only been a few days since the last murder. This murder likely had something to do with the motive given by Monokuma, which was an arcade game called "Twilight Syndrome Murder Case". (Y/N) found herself tagging along with Hajime during the investigation.

_Mahiru..._ she thought, _although blackmailing me was a bit much, your intentions were good. You didn't deserve this._

Seeing her lifeless body leaning against the beach house door made (Y/N) uneasy, but she forced herself to continue investigating. She wanted to be more of a help this time, and Hajime didn't seem to mind her accompanying him. Although she didn't know him well, he was the only other person who showed an interest in talking to her so far, aside from Nagito. After they had finished investigating the beach house, they met up with Chiaki Nanami, who suggested she and Hajime check out the motive game. Hajime had played through it once before, but apparently there was an alternate ending that he missed. It made sense that the Ultimate Gamer would be the one to find it.

When the three of them finally got to the center of the island where the game was located, none of them expected to see _him_ there.

"Nagito!" (Y/N) called out. She immediately ran over and embraced him. In return, he pulled her tightly against his chest, lifting her slightly off the ground.

"Well hello there, (Y/N) ...Hajime, Chiaki. I'm glad you guys are doing well!" he smiled.

"N-Nagito?!" Hajime said in disbelief. "Why are you here?"

"Monomi let me out," he explained. He let go of (Y/N) but kept one arm wrapped around her waist. "She said it wouldn't be a fair trial if everyone didn't have the chance to investigate."

Right on cue, Monomi appeared at the sound of her name.

"Y-yes, it's true. I let him out. I just want everyone to be friends. Monokuma wants you all to fight with each other" She cried.

"Enough... just...go away already." Hajime spoke seriously. "You too, Nagito...hurry up and get lost."

"H-hajime—" (Y/N) tried to argue, but Nagito interrupted.

"Well, I've been a little lonely but...I guess I'll do that." His voice was gloomy, but there was still a hint of smile on his face. "I've already seen the true ending of that game, so there's really no reason for me to be here." He leaned down and kissed the top of (Y/N)'s head before he released her and made his way back to the first island. "We'll talk later, okay? I have to catch up on this investigation." he called back to her. She nodded in response.

"Care to explain what that was about?!" Hajime turned towards (Y/N).

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You won't listen to me anyways."

"If you and Nagito are close, did you know about his plan whole time?" Chiaki asked calmly.

"No...I had no idea." She answered honestly. "All I know is Nagito needs us. He needs our help and all you did was tell him to get lost." She glared at Hajime as she spoke.

"Yes, (Y/N), because he's insane. Did you forget that?"

"Oh wow, did you remember your talent as the Ultimate Psychiatrist, Hajime?" she said sarcastically. "Whatever is wrong, isolating him from the rest of us isn't going to help anything."

"She might have a point, Hajime" Chiaki agreed. "(Y/N), do you think Nagito is a threat to the rest of us?"

"If he's a threat to anyone, it's himself."

\--

The class trial was over. Peko Pekoyama was the culprit. Watching her last moments with Fuyuhiko was heartbreaking. She died protecting him until her very last breath. He had tried to interfere with her execution and got injured in the process, so he was now under Monokuma's care, which everyone found discomforting. With Mahiru and Peko dead, and Fuyuhiko rushed off to who-knows-where for treatment, everyone shared a similar feeling. The only word to describe this feeling was despair.

Nagito and (Y/N) lingered behind the rest of the group on their way back to the hotel. It was the first time in what felt like a long time that they got a moment to be together alone without one of them being chained up. (Y/N) had so much she still wanted to ask him, but for now she decided to enjoy the silence. It almost felt normal again, or whatever the closest thing to normal was on this island.

When they finally got back to the hotel, Nagito walked (Y/N) to her cabin. They stood outside of the closed door for a moment, unsure of what to say or do. He finally broke the silence.

"Well, I guess this is good night." he sighed.

"I guess so." Her attempt to mask the disappointment in her voice was unsuccessful.

"Unless you don't want it to be..." he raised an eyebrow at her.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you still afraid to sleep alone?"

"I'm not afraid," she answered honestly.

"Are you afraid of me?" he leaned in closer to her, their faces were nearly touching. Instinctively, she wanted to move away, but she didn't.

"No." she said sternly. Everyone else feared Nagito. She wasn't going to be like the rest of them. He needed someone to be there for him. And truthfully, maybe she needed someone to be there for her too.

"Okay..." he paused for a moment. "Well, goodnight then!"

"Nagito, wait." She commanded.

"What is it, (Y/N)?"

"Stay with me tonight."

"I thought you'd never ask." his grin was smug. He knew exactly what he was doing, but (Y/N) didn't care. She wanted to be with him. After everything that has happened, all she wanted to do was turn off her brain and listen to her heart for a while.


	6. Beach

(Y/N) woke up earlier than she usually did. When her eyes finally came into focus, the clock by her bed read 6:18am. Even though it was early, she felt fully rested, which was unusual for her. Nagito was still asleep; his body was pressed against her back with his arms wrapped tightly around her. The feeling of his breath against her neck as he softly snored was comforting. After a while, she gave up on trying to fall back asleep and decided to get up. She gently wiggled loose of his grasp, trying her best not to wake him up. She sat up on the edge of the bed and took a moment to admire him.

"Nagito..." she whispered under her breath. He looked so peaceful while he was sleeping. She wanted to remember this moment. Quietly, she opened the drawer of her bedside table and pulled out a pencil and a composition notebook she had picked up from the market. She started sketching a few chords on a blank page when Nagito started to finally wake up. He reached out as if he was searching for something and laid his hand on her leg that was folded on the bed.

"There you are." He sleepily mumbled. She placed her hand on his for a moment until he finally opened his eyes.

"What are you doing?" he asked, eyeing the notebook in her other hand.

"It's nothing," she said as she placed the notebook and pencil back into the drawer.

"Is that a diary?" he said teasingly.

"I guess it's something like that."

"Can I read it?"

"You could try, I suppose" she handed him the notebook. After thumbing through a few pages of her musical scrawlings, he closed the notebook and handed it back.

"Well, I guess I can't read it after all." He chuckled. "What's this song for anyways?"

"No reason, really. It's just how I feel. It is kind of like a diary, but instead of words, I write melodies. If I want to remember something, I write my feelings down as music. Eventually I can put all those memories together into a song." She tried to explain. "I know it sounds kind of silly, but—"

"No, it sounds amazing. You truly are talented, (Y/N). It makes me happy to see you shine at what you do. It gives me so much hope," he smiled at her, but his eyes didn't quite have their normal sparkle. Before he could continue rambling about hope, (Y/N) changed the subject.

"Do you want to get breakfast now?"

"Okay." He agreed. They both got dressed before heading to the restaurant. Nagito reached out and took her hand in his as they walked side-by-side. Before they got too close to the restaurant, he let go of her.

"Wouldn't want the others to see you with someone like me." He said softly.

"Well, I would." She reached for his hand again, this time lacing their fingers together.

\--

"So what do you want to do today?" he asked her after they finished eating.

"Oh, I guess it's been so long since we've had free time. I'm not sure what to do."

"We could go to the beach. Do you like swimming?"

"Not really, but I wouldn't mind relaxing by the ocean for a while. Maybe I can work on my song some more."

"Sounds great!" and soon enough they were on their way to the beach. They decided to sit under a cluster of shady palm trees. They were relieved to find that nobody else was on the beach yet. As soon as she got comfortable, (Y/N) pulled out her notebook and got to work. Nagito leaned back on the tree with his hands behind his head, relaxing to the sound of pencil scribbling and ocean waves crashing to shore. Without realizing, (Y/N) had started humming along as she was writing.

"That sounds good so far." Nagito chimed in.

"S-Sorry," she immediately felt embarrassed once she realized what she was doing.

"Don't be sorry, I liked it." he beamed. "Keep going."

And she did just that. They sat mostly in silence for what seemed like an hour, with the exception of the occasional humming. Half the notebook was already filled, but the song was nowhere close to done. Nagito was the first to break the silence.

"How did I get so lucky?" he sighed.

"What do you mean? You are the Ultimate Lucky Student after all..."

"Being lucky is the same as having absolute power...it's a power that has terrible results due to the fact that I can't wield it with my own will."

"When you say it like that, it sounds dangerous." (Y/N) said.

"It's always a cycle of good and bad luck. Anytime I have good luck, it means bad luck is on the way."

"You don't know that for sure..."

"My luck brought you into my life. It's only a matter of time before it takes you away from me." his expression was strained as he stared into the palm of his hand. (Y/N) couldn't find the right words to say, so instead she embraced him. She put down her notebook and wrapped her arms tightly around his torso and leaned her head against him.

"Anytime I feel any happiness," he continued, "it's gone so fast. I can't keep up with this luck cycle. How can I find any meaning in my life when I have no control over the outcomes? The only thing I can believe in is hope. And my belief in hope seems to drive people away."

"Nagito..." she began to reposition herself so she could look him in the eye while she spoke. "I'm right here. You haven't driven me away."

"Not yet." he said confidently. "It's only a matter of time. And besides, the only reason you've stayed with me this long is because of my luck. If I didn't have good luck, I'd never be noticed by someone like you."

"It's not luck, Nagtio." She placed a leg on either side of him, making sure he was looking right at her. "It's more than that." she could feel herself blushing as their faces almost touched. "But whatever the reason is, it doesn't matter. Just enjoy what's right in front of you."

Before she could say another word, his lips were on hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into him, which signaled him to kiss her even harder. They had both been yearning for each other for so long; there was no holding back anymore. Eventually they pulled away, only to catch their breath for a second.

"I've never done that before." he admitted.

"Me either. Although, we did lose our memories before we came to this island." she pointed out. "Maybe that wasn't our first kiss."

"Maybe...Hey, don't you have a song to write?"

"Oh, yeah. I'm feeling pretty inspired at the moment." She smiled as she returned to her original position next to him on the sand and continued where she left off.

\--

After several hours had passed, the sun was finally starting to set and nighttime was approaching. Nagito had dozed in and out of sleep a few times while (Y/N) quietly kept writing.

"Well, I filled this entire notebook. Maybe it's a good stopping point." she told him.

"Are you finished with the song yet?"

"Not yet."

"What are you going to name it?" he asked. Her face appeared deep in thought for a moment before she finally answered.

"I think I'm going to call it 'On the Beach at Night.'"


	7. Sick

Those lazy days on the beach with Nagito seemed like a distant dream after everything that has happened since. The third island was accessible, Fuyuhiko was returned from Monokuma’s care only to slice open his own stomach the next day, and Akane tried to fight Monokuma, causing Nekomaru to take a bazooka to the chest defending her. He survived the hit, but now was under Monokuma’s care. Another classmate taken away. Everyone was on edge, waiting to know his fate.  


(Y/N) woke up to the sound of the morning announcement. She was restless all night, passing out only after she had no energy left at all. Nagito had spent the night in her cabin again. It was becoming a regular thing for the two of them. He’d even moved some of his stuff to her place for convenience. Nobody had noticed yet; they were careful when leaving at the same time. Not that they had anything to hide, but there was always going to be judgement from the others. Most of them were still uncomfortable around Nagito, and now she was lumped in with him. Sometimes they received disapproving glances when they were holding hands in public, but it didn’t bother (Y/N) so much. She was happy, and so was Nagito…most of the time. Despite them being more open and affectionate towards with other, he never seemed one-hundred percent happy. He still made self-loathing remarks any chance he got. Nothing (Y/N) ever said to him could make him feel better about himself, so she had taken to just showing him physical affection in response. Sometimes something as simple as a hand on his shoulder would make him calm down a bit, but it was only a short-term fix.  


After the grogginess of waking up wore off, (Y/N) noticed the bed next to her was empty. Nagito was nowhere in sight. _Where could he be?_ she thought, _maybe he went to breakfast early?_ It was unusual for him to leave without her. She quickly got dressed and made her way to the restaurant. When she finally got there, just as suspected, she found Nagito.  


“Hey, Nagito. What are you doing here early? You left without me…” she asked, sounding mildly concerned.  


“Oh, it’s you, (Y/N). I really wish you weren’t here right now.” he said blatantly.  


“W-what do you mean? Why would you—” her voice trembled.  


“Nobody really wants you around, they all told me that. They said you’re annoying, and honestly, I agree.”  


“Th-they really said that?” (Y/N) squeaked.  


“Yes. Actually, one person told me their plan to murder you. Can you guess who? Personally, I can’t wait for that!” he grinned at her as he spoke. His words felt like a punch in the gut. _Why was he saying all this? Is it really true?_ she asked herself. She couldn’t say another word, she felt so betrayed, hurt, and confused. With tears in her eyes, she quickly exited the restaurant. Not paying attention to where she was going, she ran into Hajime.  


“S-sorry,” she stuttered.  


“It’s fine. (Y/N) are you crying?” he asked when he finally got a glimpse of her face.  


“Don’t worry about it.” she tried to keep walking, but he gently grabbed her forearm to stop her.  


“What’s going on?” he demanded. Hajime had always been there for (Y/N) when she was upset. She remembered when he helped her up from the floor of the trial grounds or forced her to get out of bed and eat. Although they didn’t know each other well, she felt like he was someone that she could rely on. Maybe it was the way he led all the class trials so well, but he was definitely one of the more level-headed people in her class. She decided to be honest with him; she didn’t have much else to lose.  


“It’s N-Nagito,” she sniffled. “He said some really hurtful things…I don’t know what I did wrong.” she was now crying harder than she’d like to have been in front of Hajime, but she couldn’t help it. Nagito’s words were still echoing in her mind.  


“Stay here. I’ll talk to him.” he lightly squeezed her arm that he was still holding and made his way up to the restaurant. She wiped away her tears and waited outside. Others started arriving as well. After a short wait, Hajime returned.  


“(Y/N), come quick. I think Nagito is sick.” They both rushed back upstairs. As soon as he was in sight, she made his way over to him.  


“Nagito, is everything okay?” she forgot about everything he said to her earlier. None of it mattered anymore. She pressed her hand to his forehead. “You’re burning up!”  


“Thaaaaat’s right!” Monokuma chimed in. “Nagito, Ibuki, and Akane have all been infected with the Despair Disease as your next motive. It affects all of them differently. For example, Nagito here has been infected with the lying disease!”  


_Lying Disease… so everything he said earlier was a lie?_ She felt momentary relief from the thought, but immediately went back to worrying about the feverish boy in front of her.  


“How do you feel?” she asked him.  


“Maaaaan! I feel so great today! This Despair Disease is awesome! Despair! Despair! Despair! Despair! Despair!” he chanted. His eyes became shrouded with darkness again.  


_More lies…_  


“You should all get it,” he continued, “We’re all done for! There’s no such thing as hope! We all have to die from this Despair Disease…” he was hysterical now. He suddenly started pulling at his hair and sweating, like he was conflicted and trying to fight against it.  


“That’s…the…o…nly…way…” he choked out, struggling to breathe. And just like that, he collapsed.  


“Nagito!” (Y/N) screamed and immediately dropped to his side. “Nagito, please.” The room felt like it was spinning now, everything in her vision was blurry aside from Nagito. It looked as if he was suffocating, gasping for air and reaching out to her. She grabbed his hand and held it close to her chest. His eyes began to roll back into his head and he started foaming at the mouth.  


“Help him, please!” she sobbed.  


“W-we have to g-get him to the hospital. Please hurry!” Mikan squeaked. Kazuichi and Gundham moved quickly to carry him out. (Y/N) held on to his hand for as long as she could until he was out of her reach. She remained on the floor, still in shock to everything that just happened. Hajime and Chiaki each grabbed on to either one of her arms and carefully helped her off the ground.  


“We should follow them.” Chiaki suggested. She wrapped an arm around (Y/N)’s waist; Hajime followed her lead and placed his arm around (Y/N)’s shoulders. Together, the three of them made their way to the hospital on the third island.  


\--  


(Y/N) immediately rushed to the room where Nagito was being held once they arrived at the hospital. Only Mikan was in the room, tending to him the best she could.  


“How is he?” (Y/N) asked.  


“N-not so good. He’s barely breathing, and his pulse is low,” she yelped. “He’s almost entering critical condition.”  


(Y/N) rushed over to his bedside and sat next to him. He looked like he was in terrible pain; he was drenched in sweat and his skin had a bluish tint to it.  


“C-careful,” Mikan warned. “Monokuma said the disease might be contagious…”  


(Y/N) ignored her and stayed seated next to him. She gently brushed his hair out of his face. It was matted to his forehead with sweat. She felt the heat of his skin burning against her fingers.  


“Nagito…” she whispered. A tear rolled down her cheek and landed on his shirt. It almost sounded like he was trying to speak between struggled breaths. She leaned in closer until her ear was almost touching his lips.  


“(Y/N) …” he breathed.  


“I’m here.” She continued combing through his hair with her fingertips.  


“Please…leave me…” his voice was so faint she almost missed his words. _Right, he’s lying. I have to remember that,_ she reminded herself.  


“I’m not going anywhere, Nagito. I won’t leave you.” she said reassuringly.  


“I…”  


“Shh, it’s okay.” She was afraid he was going to strain himself if he continued talking. He gasped a few more times, trying to get the words out.  


“…hate you.”


	8. Clue

This time, there were three: two murders, one execution. The Despair Disease had spread to Mikan, who succumbed to its murderous side effects. She killed Ibuki, but not without a witness. Hiyoko had been in the wrong place at the wrong time and also became a victim. All three of them were all dead.

Nagito and Akane had survived the disease, which was quickly eradicated by Monokuma when he decided he was bored of it. (Y/N) was relieved to see him healthy again, but the game was not over yet.

_He survived this time_ , she thought to herself, _but what will happen next?_

She pictured his near-lifeless body, gasping for air and wincing in pain. That scene was engraved in her memory, as much as she wished to never think about it again. For now, she tried her best to enjoy every moment with Nagito. She never knew when it could be their last.

“Hey, are you alright?” the sound of his voice brought her back to reality. “You were spacing out.” She looked up to see Nagito’s concerned expression. When she met his gaze, he instead started smiling at her.

“Yeah…I’m fine. Just have a lot on my mind currently.” she admitted.

“You aren’t still worried about me, are you?” he asked, “I told you, I feel better now!”

“I know that.” she tried her best to force a smile.

“Don’t waste your energy worrying about someone like me. You deserve to be happy.” He reached across the table where they were seated in the restaurant and placed his hand on hers.

“You do too, Nagito.” They remained quiet for the rest of their meal then headed out afterwards towards the fourth island to investigate with the others.

“So, have you finished that song yet?” he asked.

“Not quite. I mostly have the beginning and end written, but I haven’t been satisfied with the middle. It’s missing something. It never sounds quite right with the rest of the song.”

“Can I hear what you have done so far?” he asked hopefully.

“No! It won’t be the same unless it’s finished. You’ll hear it eventually, it is your song, after all.”

“You wrote it for me?” he sounded surprised.

“Well…” she blushed as she spoke. “I wanted a way to remember our time together here, and this is the only way I know how.”

“You really like me that much?” Nagito looked the happiest she had seen him in a while. His smile was carefree, and his eyes sparkled like the sky on a summer night. He was beautiful.

“Yeah, I guess I do.” she sighed, still smiling back at him.

“I like you too, for being willing to talk to me like this, even after knowing what a hopelessly incompetent person I am…” Before (Y/N) could speak, he continued.

“I’ll be honest, I still get really nervous being around you alone like this. I’ve never spent time just talking to someone. It almost feels normal.”

“It is normal, is it not?” she asked him, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t know, I’ve never had a friend before. And definitely not one like you.” He was smiling but his eyes looked sad.

“I’ve never made a lot of friends either. I was always so tied up in making music, I never got out much. And because I was too afraid to play in front of other people, I stayed holed up in my room a lot. The instruments were my only friends.”

“I guess we’re both lonely people. I’ve always kind of sensed that about you. Maybe it’s why I was so drawn to you. You’re brimming with so much kindness, hope and beautiful songs, but you have nobody to share it with. I want you to share them with the world, (Y/N)! Imagine the hope you could bring to everyone.”

“Well, my songs do get heard. Many of my compositions have been performed before.”

“But nobody will ever play your songs like you do. They _are you_ , (Y/N)”

She wasn’t sure how to respond anymore. Instead, she stopped walking and threw her arms around him. Even though she caught him off guard, he was welcoming to the embrace. After a moment, he slowly tilted her chin up and kissed her. He was very gentle, but she could sense the longing behind his touch, as if he wanted more. She knew now was not the time for public displays, so she pulled away. They continued looking at each other, the feeling of the kiss still lingering on their lips.

“I think all the bad luck in my life so far was for this. For you. You are by far the luckiest thing to ever happen to me.” Nagito sounded neither happy nor sad when he spoke. “But I’m afraid.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because in order for me to have good luck, someone else has to have bad luck. What if it’s you?”

“What if it’s not?” (Y/N) asked, not expecting an answer. She stood on her toes and placed a short kiss on his cheek before grabbing his hand and pulling him along. “C’mon, we have some exploring to do.”

\--

The fourth island was an amusement park, although nobody seemed very amused about it. It was just another one of the strange features of the island that didn’t fit in. The park was completely empty of everyone but the remaining students. There was a roller coaster which Monokuma promised if everyone went on it, they would receive a reward. Reluctantly, they all gathered to ride it. After it was over, they were given a journal with a strange logo on it, one they had only previously seen on the door of the second island’s ruins.

Monokuma handed the journal to Nagito and everyone gathered around him to read it. The first few pages explained about how a school killing game had taken place once before, at the original Hope’s Peak Academy. The students trapped inside eventually escaped by proving that the Mastermind had broken the rules of their own game. Only six students survived. The next page revealed the names and photos of those students. One student stood out in particular: Byakuya Togami. He looked different than the Byakuya they knew, but there was no doubting that they were supposed to be the same person.

There were so many unanswered questions, so many things that didn’t add up. Before they could continue conspiring about the new information they just received, Monokuma made another deal. He told them there were more prizes for them inside the Funhouse. Desperate for more clues, they unanimously agreed to go. Once they hopped aboard the Funhouse train, it drove them into an ominous-looking tunnel.

And then everything went black.


	9. Poison

Just as the amusement park wasn’t very amusing, the fun house was the opposite of fun. It was a trap set by Monokuma, and to make matters worse, they were forced to starve until a killing took place. Nekomaru, or Mechamaru as everyone had nicknamed him after he was transformed into a cyborg by Monokuma, was the victim this time. After the investigation and the trial, everyone concluded that Gundham was the killer.  


(Y/N) was separated from Nagito during most of their time in the funhouse, due to the way the living quarters were set up. They had agreed to split up by gender, so she stayed with the other girls and Hajime, who there was no space for on the boys’ side. Nagito admitted during the class trial that he had went into the Final Dead Room, which held a life-threatening game inside. Anyone who won the game would receive access to the Ultimate weapon, along with more information about their missing school memories. He relied on his luck to win a game of Russian roulette and received the promised prizes.  


_Nagito was lucky we were separated,_ (Y/N) thought, _I would have never let him enter that room._  


With the information he had found, Nagito revealed that Hajime was not an Ultimate like the rest of them. He was only a reserve course student, someone who paid their way into the school and didn’t actually have a talent. Although he seemed eager to share this information with the rest of them, (Y/N) felt like there was more information that he was holding back.  


Everyone remained in the trial ground after the execution, discussing the recent events. (Y/N) was standing by Nagito, who was positioned at the back of the room, away from the others. She leaned into him, feeling exhausted. He put an arm around her shoulders, but his movements felt autonomous, like he was running on auto-pilot. After a moment, he pulled her close and leaned down to whisper in her ear.  


“I’m leaving.” he said quiet enough that only she could hear it. Before she could respond, he kissed the top of her head and made his way towards the exit. She was tempted to follow him, but for some reason she felt frozen in place. After everyone had agreed on their next plan of action, everyone made their way back to the main island, aside from one particular person who was lingering behind.  


“Hajime?” (Y/N) said, which startled him. “Are you coming?”  


“Yeah, sorry. Let’s go.” They walked out together. He was quiet, which wasn’t unusual for him, but she could sense that he had something on his mind.  


“Hey, just so you know, it doesn’t matter to me that you’re a reserve course student. You’re still my classmate…and my friend.”  


“Thanks, (Y/N).” he paused for a moment before speaking again. “There’s something I’m worried about though…”  


“Hmm?”  


“Where’s Nagito?” he asked. She didn’t realize anyone but her noticed his disappearance.  


“All he told me was that he was leaving, and then he disappeared. I really don’t know anything else” she defended herself.  


“I believe you, it’s okay.” Hajime reassured her. “Are you worried about him?”  


“Yes…I don’t know what he saw in that Final Dead Room, but I don’t think it was good. And there’s something he’s not telling us.”  


“I agree with that,” he replied. “Should we try to find him?”  


“Maybe he’s already at the restaurant. We could look there first.” she suggested, even though she knew for a fact Nagito wouldn’t just slip out early to go get a snack.  


“Sure.”  


When they finally arrived at the restaurant, there was no sign of Nagito. Hajime offered to help (Y/N) keep looking for him, but she assured him it was fine.  


“We’re all exhausted, let’s just get some rest for tonight. If he’s still not here by morning, maybe you can help me then.” she tried her best to give him a reassuring smile, but Hajime didn’t seem to buy it.  


“Well, if you need anything, let me know. Goodnight, (Y/N).”  


“Good night, Hajime.”  


\--  


The next morning, Nagito still hadn’t made an appearance. After breakfast, everyone made their way to the fifth island, which was now accessible. The entire island looked futuristic dystopian city. There were a few disturbing buildings, one in particular being the giant Monokuma factory and warehouse. (Y/N) helped Hajime and Chiaki investigate it until they were summoned by Fuyuhiko to meet with everyone else to share their findings. Aside from their discoveries, one topic that also came up in their discussion was the idea of a traitor amongst them. Monkuma previously told them that there was a traitor from the Future Foundation, the organization responsible for putting them on this island, but nobody wanted to suspect each other.  


“Maybe this traitor is simply a false entity that Monokuma has made up to make us suspicious of each other!” Sonia suggested. Everyone seemed to nod in agreement, but before anyone else could speak, they were interrupted by a familiar voice.  


“Weak…how weak…” the voice said  


“N-Nagito?” (Y/N) squeaked. She wanted to run over to him, but once she looked in his eyes, she saw the darkness again, but this time, there was something more sinister in them.  


“Instead of facing the problem directly and overcoming it…you’re desperately trying to run away. That weakness…is hopeless!” he continued.  


“Where have you been this whole time?” Hajime asked.  


“I was looking for someone. I thought they’d be here by now, but I guess they haven’t arrived yet. Or maybe they’re hiding.” Nagito rambled.  


“Who’re you talking about?” (Y/N) chimed in.  


“The survivor of the killing school life.” he answered vaguely.  


“You’re acting very strange! I do not like this version of Nagito we have been witness to!” Sonia spoke formally as usual.  


“I never liked ya in the first place,” Akane butted in.  


“Aww…it looks like I’m being hated again. Well, that’s understandable. There’s no way you guys can even comprehend my suffering. Knowing the truth…can be pretty painful in its own way.”  


“What truth?” Hajime spoke again.  


“Curious, are you…? I’ll tell you guys after we find out who the traitor is. To tell you the truth, I still haven’t found out who the traitor is…but it won’t take me very long. You guys don’t have to worry. I’ll weed out the traitor, even if it costs me my life!” his laugh sent shivers down their spines. It was like every word that left his mouth was a poison, slowly filling the air around them. It was the side of Nagito that (Y/N) hoped to never see again.  


“Don’t say that, Nagito, Please!” (Y/N) pleaded. She reached out for him, but he brushed her aside.  


“Oh, (Y/N). I’ll be honest, you were the one thing that almost put a stop to this plan. Emotions really do get in the way sometimes.”  


“What plan, Nagito?” she tried to sound as intimidating as she could, but she felt her voice cracking.  


“My plan to become the Ultimate Hope and rid this island of despair once and for all!”  


“What the hell are you talking about? Have you lost your damn mind?” Kazuichi yelled.  


“Now then, I should get going…(Y/N), how about one more kiss before I go?” before she could object, he pressed his lips against hers firmly, almost causing her to lose her footing. He placed a hand behind her back to stop her from pulling away so quickly. She didn’t return the kiss; she was too in shock at his sudden actions to comprehend what was going on.  


“Nagito, please. Can you just listen to me for a second?” she begged him.  


“Shhh…” he placed a finger gently over her lips. “There’s no meaning to words that are neither deadly poison or a cure.” 

And just like that, he left.


	10. Fire

Once again, Nagito was a threat to everyone. When the remaining students met at breakfast the following morning, they debated over what to do about him. Kazuichi was the first to suggest a plan.  


“I say we just tie him up again. I’ll be the commander of this operation. Akane and Fuyuhiko, you guys will be the ones to apprehend him, and (Y/N), you can be the one to lure him to our trap.”  


“No.” (Y/N) said without hesitation.  


“Whaaa! C’mon. He’s your boyfriend or whatever. He’ll listen to you.” Kazuichi argued back.  


“How do we even know she’s not in on that crazy bastard’s plan anyways? They were just kissing yesterday” Fuyuhiko said furiously.  


“Hey, hey.” Chiaki spoke up. “Leave (Y/N) alone. I’ll take her spot in the plan.”  


“Okay, then it’s settled. Chiaki will lure Nagito to the hotel lobby tonight and then we’ll stop this maniac once and for all.”  


\--  


For the rest of the day, (Y/N) spent time investigating the ancient ruins with Hajime and Sonia. After they finished, they headed back to the hotel to await tonight’s plan. (Y/N) decided the best way to pass the time was to try to take a nap. Not realizing how exhausted she really was, she drifted to sleep shortly after her head hit the pillow.  


She was awakened by a knock on her cabin door. _It’s probably just Hajime or Sonia,_ she thought. Although she reassured herself it was just one of them, for some reason her heart was pounding.  


“Hello there, (Y/N).” Nagito greeted her when she opened the door. Without asking, he stepped inside, closing the door behind him.  


“What are you doing here?” she asked with obvious fear in her voice.  


“…You sure ask weird questions.” Nagito smiled at her cheerfully. “I mean, you guys all have business with me, right?”  


“Huh?”  


“Chiaki invited me to the lobby. She said she had something she wanted to talk to me about. Everyone put her up to that, right?”  


(Y/N) didn’t know how to respond. Her eyes widened at his question.  


“I guess that’s a bingo…” he crossed his arms. “It’s good timing though, I have some business with all of you guys too. But first I want to talk to just you.” his smug expression faded.  


“Go on.”  


“I want to thank you, (Y/N). For never giving up on me, no matter how worthless I’ve been. You haven’t given up on me yet, right?”  


“N-no.” she said nervously.  


“Good. That’s exactly why I’m doing all of this. You put your hope in me and now I can’t disappoint everyone. I will rid this island of despair, no matter what.”  


“But why are you taking this upon yourself. If you have information about how to stop the despair, why not let us help you?” involuntarily, she stepped closer to him as she spoke. He copied her movements and closed more of the distance between them.  


“You’ll find out the truth soon enough. Everything will all be clear. But I just had to make sure I thanked you first.” He reached out and took her hand. “And there’s one other thing I wanted to tell you.”  


“Okay.” her voice was barely a whisper now.  


“I love you.”  


She was speechless. Her heart was beating a million times a minute and she suddenly felt very lightheaded.  


“…Why?” was the only word that would escape her mouth.  


“Do you really want me to list off the reasons why I love—”  


“Why are you doing this to me?” she interrupted him. “If you love me, than why are you making me, no, all of us all suffer?!” she was yelling now. She released his hand and took a step away from him.  


“Don’t worry, (Y/N).” he kept moving towards her, trying to get close again. Eventually her back was against the wall. “If everything goes according to my plan, you won’t suffer ever again.” He placed his hand on the wall above her and moved his face close to hers. Her instincts told her to be nervous, but somehow his closeness felt calming.  


“I just want to know one thing.” he continued. “Do you love me too?”  


She paused for a moment and looked up into his eyes. She remembered the way they sparkled in the sunlight when she first woke up on the beach and how those same eyes gazed at her in admiration while she played the piano. She remembered how even in the darkness of her bedroom, those silvery-green eyes would illuminate under the moonlight that peeked through the curtains. The most beautiful stars in the sky didn’t compare to the way his eyes looked when he was happy. All she wanted was to make him happy, so she could see that infectious smile one more time.  


“Yes, Nagito.” she paused for a moment. “I love you.”  


Without another word, he kissed her. He was soft at first, gently caressing his lips against hers. She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close so there was no more space between them. He reached down and placed his hands under the back of her thighs, lifting her up against the wall and allowing her to wrap her legs around his waist. They continued for moment before he carried her away from the wall and placed her down on the bed. He was now above her, with his arms on either side of her, holding himself up.  


“I’ve always wanted this,” he breathed, “to be loved.”  


“I love you, Nagito.” she said it one more time before their lips met once more.  


\--  


It was back to reality now as (Y/N) and Nagito headed for the hotel lobby, where everyone was expecting him. They both knew it was a trap, but for some reason, Nagito still wanted to go. When they reached the door, (Y/N) hesitated.  


“Oh, I see. You need me to go in first.” he smiled reassuringly. She still felt uneasy about the whole plan, but she convinced herself it was necessary. Once he opened the door, Akane was quick to pounce at him. Her arm was around his neck as she quickly held him against the ground.  


“I’ve got him!” she yelled. Nagito didn’t put up a struggle.  


“Hurry and tie him up!” Kazuichi commanded.  


“You guys are really disappointing…how long are you going to continue behaving so shortsightedly?” Nagito asked.  


“Huh? What are you talking about?!” Fuyuhiko yelled.  


“It’s fine if you don’t understand…you can just see the end without knowing. Now then, let’s begin!” Nagito raised his voice, “The beginning of the end of Jabberwock Island!”  


Suddenly, there was a blinding light coming from the corner of the lobby. The air shook, and darkness took over. Everything was black.  


(Y/N) finally opened her eyes after a minute; her ears still ringing from the sound of the explosion.  


_Wh-what’s…going…on?_  


Her hearing hadn’t fully come back yet, but her vision was clear enough to see him standing there in the middle of the room, surrounded by the flames. He was saying something, but she couldn’t understand the words. All she saw was the dark, twisted look in his murky-green eyes and the frenzied smile that was plastered across his face. 

The Nagito that she loved was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll let you decide what really happened in the cabin


	11. Despair

The island was sent into chaos after Nagito had set off the bomb in the hotel lobby. Luckily, nobody was fatally injured, but it wasn’t the end. As he had said, it was the only the beginning of the end. He told them that he had placed multiple bombs in secret locations throughout the island, only revealing their location if the traitor came forward. The traitor had until noon two days from now to reveal themselves or else the bombs would detonate and destroy the whole island. After a day of searching and coming up short, everyone retired to their cabins for the night.  


\--  


(Y/N) woke up after a restless night’s sleep. Even though there were only a few short hours left until the bombs went off, she couldn’t find the strength to get out of bed. All she could think about was her time with Nagito, which already felt so long ago. Despite everything he was currently putting everyone through, she still couldn’t help but worry about him. He said he would be waiting in the restaurant if the traitor finally decided to come forward.  


_Wait,_ she thought, _If Nagito is alone in the restaurant right now…_  


She jumped out of bed as fast as she could and quickly hurried to the restaurant. When she arrived, she saw the exact worst-case scenario she was worried about. Akane was on top of Nagito, her hands gripped around his throat.  


“Playtime’s over…Now, where’d you hide those bombs?” Akane shouted at him.  


“I’ll never tell,” he choked out. “If you really want me to tell, you should try torturing me or something. If you’re not willing to fill me with despair, then there’s no way my hope will ever—” his words were cut short by Akane choking him harder. He started gasping for air as his face got increasingly redder.  


“Akane, stop!” (Y/N) yelled, but it was no use. She wouldn’t listen.  


“Just die already!” she ignored all the commands to stop and clenched tighter and tighter around his throat, as if she was trying to snap his neck instead of strangling him. The other students started flooding into the restaurant to witness the same sight that (Y/N) was seeing. Before anyone could process what has happening, they were startled by a loud slap. Chiaki had hit Akane across the face to make her come to her senses.  


“Calm down…okay? Chiaki’s voice was soft. “You wouldn’t do something like that, right? You’re not the kind of person who would hurt someone…”  


“Thanks, Akane! I finally got to see my dead dog again!” Nagito said as he finally stood up.  


_How close to death was he?!_ (Y/N) thought.  


After everyone had calmed down, they realized they still had important matters at hand. The clock was ticking and there was still bombs somewhere on the island. They decided the best way to investigate was to split up and check every island. (Y/N) was tasked with searching the second island. She was investigating the pharmacy building, when she was greeted by a frantic Hajime. He told her that they found the bombs on the fifth island, so they both hurried there.  


They arrived at the Monokuma factory where there was a truck parked inside. In the truck bed was what looked like a pile of explosives. Hajime noticed a laptop was sitting on the ground next to the truck. They turned it on and a video started playing. It was a video message from Nagito. He told them that only the e-handbook of the traitor would deactivate the bomb. Without hesitation, Chiaki walked over to the small scanner that was wired to the truck. She pulled out her e-handbook and tapped it against the panel, but the truck kept running.  


“Who’s next?” she asked. Before anyone could try, the truck’s engine started sputtering.  


“It’s running out of gas!” Kazuichi yelled.  


Everyone braced themselves for an explosion, but instead, the factory illuminated with a display of bright colors. Fireworks. The laptop started playing another video message.  


“So how did it go? Did the traitor come forward? I’ll be at the warehouse next door waiting for your answer.” Nagito’s voice came through the speaker. After the video message was finished, everyone hastily made their way over to the warehouse.  


“It’s stuck, the door won’t budge!” Akane was the first one to reach the door. Without hesitation, she charged with her full weight, causing the door to burst open. The warehouse was completely dark, and there was a strange music playing. Everyone gathered in the doorway, hesitant to fully step inside the pitch-black room. Suddenly, the entire room went up in flames.  


“W-what do we do?!” Kazuichi yelled.  


“I think I remember seeing some fire grenades in the factory break room! Sonia told them. They ran next door, and each grabbed one before heading back to the warehouse. Simultaneously, they threw the grenades, but the blaze only continued to spread. Just when they thought there was no hope to extinguish the fire, the sprinkler system kicked on, causing the room to fill with smoke and steam.  


“W-was Nagito in there?” (Y/N) asked frantically.  


“He probably escaped out the back or something, either way we can’t go inside there until the smoke clears.” Hajime reassured her. Each minute that passed felt like an eternity, waiting for the warehouse to be safe to enter. When it finally looked clear, they all stepped inside the smoldering remains of the warehouse.  


(Y/N) felt anxious for some reason. The air felt heavy, and not just from the smoke. Fear immediately took over her senses, and she felt her body shiver.  


“Hey, did everyone notice that curtain in the back of the room?” Chiaki asked. (Y/N) looked over to see the remains of what used to be a curtain. It was mostly burned up, which revealed an area of the warehouse they were previously unaware of. Hajime was the first one to move forward. His steps were careful and slow, as if he was also afraid. (Y/N) was close behind him. The nearer they were to the back of the warehouse, the more nervous she felt. Her heart was pounding in her ears, making her feel dizzy. When they finally reached the area behind the curtain, (Y/N) was not prepared for what she saw.  


Nagito was dead.  


Blood, there was so much blood. He was on the ground, all four of his limbs tied up. There were cuts all over his arms and legs, and a spear stabbed through his gut. His mouth was taped shut and his eyes were wide open with pain. He wasn’t just dead, he was brutally murdered.  


(Y/N) could feel herself screaming, but she couldn’t hear it. The scream tore through her throat, taking every last breath of air out of her. She dropped down to her knees in anguish, another scream forced its way out of her chest. After the initial shock died down, she couldn’t hold back anymore. She sobbed uncontrollably until she couldn’t breathe. Her sobs turned to chokes as she struggled to inhale.  


_Why?_ she repeated over and over in her head. She reached for Nagito, but before she could get near him, Hajime dropped down beside her and held her back, wrapping both his arms around her shoulders from behind. He remained holding her while she cried, her sobs were now silent, but he could feel her body convulsing. Nobody knew what to say or do, they all felt frozen in place. (Y/N) felt a numbness spread throughout her body. She tried to catch her breath, but it still felt like she was suffocating.  


*Ding dong dong ding*  


The sound of the body discovery announcement just confirmed what she already knew: Nagito was really dead. He was gone. His eyes would never shine again. She’d never see his smile. He’d never again say he loved her.  


_This…is despair._


	12. Note

“(Y/N)?” a voice spoke.  


“Is she gonna be okay?” this time it was a different voice.  


“What should we do about her?” more voices. (Y/N) tuned them out. All she could focus on was the body on the ground in front of her.  


“Hey…(Y/N)? We need to start the investigation. Do you want us to take you back to your room?” this time she recognized the voice as Chiaki.  


“No…I’m not leaving him.” (Y/N)’s voice was empty. She could feel everyone’s worried eyes on her, wishing they would look away.  


“We shouldn’t leave her alone,” she heard Chiaki say to someone else.  


“I’ll stay.” A voice spoke up. It was Fuyuhiko. She heard the footsteps of everyone leaving the warehouse, and soon it was quiet again. She remained kneeling next to Nagito, still unwilling to move. Although it hurt to look, she knew it would be her last chance to ever see him. The thought alone was enough for the tears to return.  


“I know what it feels like,” Fuyuhiko said softly, “to lose someone you love.” (Y/N) remained silent, so he kept going.  


“Sorry…I know I’m not really good at this kinda thing. But…”  


“How?” (Y/N) barely choked out the words.  


“What do you—” before he could finish his sentence, she interrupted him.  


“How do you go on?” How do you keep living?” her voice almost sounded hysterical, like her sorrow had now transformed to anger.  


“You just…do. That’s all you can do.” After a moment, he continued. “Peko died to save my life. If I just give up and die, then what was the point?!” he raised his voice. “I still think about her every day. I probably always will, no, I definitely will.”  


(Y/N) was still silent. She didn’t want to think about moving on or living a normal life when she was only centimeters away from Nagito’s lifeless body.  


“Nagito was a crazy fuckin’ bastard…but he loved you. I hope he got a chance to tell you that before he…” Fuyuhiko cut himself off. Before they could continue the conversation, Hajime and Chiaki returned to the warehouse.  


“Hey, (Y/N). While we were investigating Nagito’s room, we found this.” Hajime reached out his hand and revealed a small folded piece of paper with her name written on it. (Y/N)’s hands were shaking as she grabbed the paper from him and put it in her pocket. She was too afraid to open it right now. Suddenly, the class trial announcement rang throughout the room.  


“Well, I guess it’s time.” Fuyuhiko said.  


“No.” (Y/N) was quick to respond.  


“We have to, (Y/N) …” Hajime said worriedly.  


“No!” she yelled this time. “No, I won’t leave him!” Hajime tried to grab onto her arm, but she yanked it away.  


“I don’t wanna have to do this, (Y/N), but if you don’t come with us, Monokuma might do something worse…” He gestured at Fuyuhiko to help him. Together, they each grabbed an arm, but she was defiant. She tried to shake them off and put up a fight, but she hardly had any energy left in her. All she could do was sob uncontrollably as she realized this was it. This was goodbye.  


_Goodbye, Nagito…_  


\--  


Nagito’s plan was like nothing any of them could have ever imagined. The rope, the knife, the spear, the fire…he inflicted all the wounds to himself to throw everyone off during the class trial. The real cause of death was poison. Poison inside of a fire grenade that was thrown by one of the six remaining students. Nagito created an unsolvable case. Or at least, a case (Y/N) wished was never solved.  


Nagito relied on his luck to weed out the traitor. He counted on the traitor being the one to throw the poisoned fire grenade. The traitor was Chiaki. Nobody wanted to vote her as the killer. That involved relying on Nagito’s luck. If they were wrong, they would all die.  


“This isn’t like the other times,” Chiaki said calmly. “In the other trials, you voted by doubting your friends. This time, you’ll vote by believing in me.” Her smile was gentle, which made it even more difficult to grasp the idea of voting for her execution. But in the end, that’s what they did. They voted, and the results revealed that Chiaki was the unknowing killer of Nagito.  


“I wish I could have explained everything to you guys, but I couldn’t say anything no matter what.” She explained.  


“I don’t understand…” Hajime said.  


“Even if you want to fly, you can’t, right? Even if you want to swim where you please, you can’t. Due to the nature of my existence, I will never be able to betray the Future Foundation.”  


“So in the end, Chiaki was the traitor…and everything went according to Nagito’s plan…” Kazuichi mumbled sadly.  


“About that…” Fuyuhiko chimed in. “Was that really his goal? To kill the traitor? If so, isn’t it strange? We almost lost. We definitely would have lost if Chiaki hadn’t said anything”  


“Thaaaaat’s right!” Monokuma loudly interrupted. “Nagito said he was going to weed out the traitor, but he never said he was going to kill the traitor. In fact, he wanted everyone but the traitor to die!” he laughed his familiar laugh.  


_Nagito wanted all of us…to die?_ (Y/N) couldn’t wrap her head around the idea. Everyone began talking over each other, arguing in disbelief that Nagito could do something so twisted.  


“…It’s okay.” Everyone turned their attention back to Chiaki as she spoke. “It’s not just Nagito’s fault. If the circumstances had been different…he probably wouldn’t have taken things so far.” Even moments before her execution, Chiaki still defended her classmate. She was always so calm and caring of everyone. (Y/N) remembered all the times Chiaki stood up for and comforted her when she was upset. And she was about to be executed.  


“Okay that’s enough! Leave the talk for later! Because…it’s punishment time!” Monokuma cheered.  


“H-Hold on! Just a little more…just a little more time…” Hajime pleaded  


“Wait?! Are you serious?! There’s no way I’d agree to wait!” Monokuma responded.  


“B-but I haven’t…” his voice was shaking.  


“I’m sorry Hajime…” Chiaki said sadly. “Regardless, there’s nothing else I can say. I’m not allowed to give any more information than I already have,” she looked towards the ground as she spoke.  


“N-no, it’s not that. I don’t want information. I want—” but before he could finish, he was cut off by Monokuma, signaling that the execution was going to start. (Y/N) saw the way Hajime was looking at Chiaki. She saw the despair in his eyes as he watched her wave her last goodbye before her punishment began. It wasn’t just the despair of losing a classmate, it was something more.  


_You love her, don’t you, Hajime?_ (Y/N) thought to herself. After the execution was over, Hajime fell to his knees. He looked lost, like he had so many things he wanted to say but no one to tell them to. (Y/N) knew this time, she had to be there for him, just as he had done so many times for her. The wound of losing Nagito was still fresh and watching Chiaki’s execution felt like ripping off the scab. If she couldn’t be strong for herself, she had to be strong for her friends. She dropped down beside Hajime and embraced him for a moment before attempting to help him up off the ground.  


“C’mon, let’s go back.” she whispered. She kept one arm wrapped around him after they stood up. It felt familiar, walking back to the hotel after a trial, silently side-by-side. Halfway through their walk, (Y/N) suddenly stopped moving.  


“Are you alright?” Hajime asked. He watched her reach inside her pocket and pull out the piece of paper he had handed her before the trial. She inhaled deeply as she carefully unfolded it. It read:  


Don’t forget the promise you made.  


\--  


_“but you have to promise me one thing: when I die, will you write a song about me?”  
_

_“I promise I will, but you aren’t going to die here. I won’t let you. We’ll make it off this island, okay?”_


	13. Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to listen to this [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiyiZ1gRkOE) as you read the chapter. It's a piano version of "On the Beach at Night" from the Starbound OST. This is what I imagine Nagito's song would sound like and it was the inspiration for this whole fic. Also, I highly recommend checking out the entire soundtrack, even if you don't play the game!

(Y/N) was seated on the bench, one foot on the pedal, two hands on piano. Everything around her was dark, but she could still see the whites of the keys in front of her. Suddenly, a spotlight shinned down on her from above. She was on stage, but all the seats in the audience were empty. Another spotlight illuminated the other side of the stage, and she saw him. Nagito was on his knees, a chain around his neck, his arms tied behind him. A figure emerged from the darkness behind the stage. It was a man she had never seen before, but for some reason he seemed familiar. He was wearing a black suit and tie, with long hair that was almost down to his ankles. His hair covered most of his face, but she could still see glowing red eyes watching her from underneath.  


“Play.” He spoke in a monotone voice.  


“W-What song do I play?” she stuttered.  


“Play now, before I get bored.”  


Without thinking, her hands started moving against her will. She had no song in mind, but instead let her hands carry her along. She started playing Mozart’s Rondo Alla Turca. She played the few beginning lines flawlessly, but eventually her fingers stumbled and missed a note. It was just one single note, but it seemed to echo the loudest throughout the empty music hall. As soon as she felt herself mess up, the red-eyed man stabbed Nagito with a knife into his back, right between his shoulders. She immediately ceased her playing.  


“Stop!” she screamed. She tried to move, but she felt glued to the bench.  


“Keep playing.” he commanded. (Y/N) could see the blood starting to pool on the floor around Nagito. She had no choice but to continue playing. She tried to continue where she left off, but her fingers were trembling. No matter how hard she tried to play perfectly, she clumsily missed another note. He stabbed Nagito in his back again. This time, (Y/N) kept playing, but the tempo was off. She looked over at Nagito, who was still smiling at her, despite everything that was happening to him. He opened his mouth to speak, causing blood to drip down his chin.  


“Keep playing, (Y/N). It sounds perfect.” he coughed up more blood as he spoke. (Y/N) felt tears running down her cheeks as her hands moved frantically across the keys. Another wrong note slipped out. And another. Soon, no matter what she did, she could not remember how to play the song. More and more blood spilled out of Nagito with each stab until the entire stage floor was covered. The song was nearly over. (Y/N) struck the final chord. The wrong notes clashed with each other as they echoed throughout the music hall. As she released her fingers from the keys, the man took one final stab, this time with a spear. He sent the spear through his back and straight through his heart. Nagito fell over as he choked out one last final breath. (Y/N) still couldn’t move. Not even a scream. No matter how hard she wanted to, no sound escaped.  


“It’s your fault he died.” the man said calmly. “You were the only one who could have saved him.”  


He walked closer to (Y/N). She wanted to run away. Her heart was racing with each step he took in her direction. He was now close enough that she could see his face clearly.  


_Is that…?_  


\--  


(Y/N) woke up drenched in sweat and out of breath. Instant relief washed over her as she realized it was only a nightmare. It was still the middle of the night, but she was too afraid to go back to sleep. There was no way she’d risk continuing that nightmare. Instead, she turned on the light and pulled out her notebook. She finally realized what was missing from Nagito’s song, the middle part she could never quite get right.  


Despair.  


\--  


Hajime couldn’t sleep. There was enough light coming through his window that he decided it was best to just give up on sleeping. As he left his cabin, he swore he saw someone enter the abandoned building. _Was that (Y/N)?_ he thought. Curious, he decided to follow her.  


When he entered the building, he saw no sign of her. He slowly walked down hallway, trying not to make a sound. At the end of the hall, he noticed a door that was cracked open slightly. He peeked through the narrow opening and saw her, sitting at a piano in the center of the room. There were ripped out notebook pages strew across the floor near the bench. Just as he was about to open the door, he heard her speak.  


“I kept my promise.” her voice was a whisper. After a deep inhale, she started playing. Hajime remained in the doorway, trying to listen without disturbing her. The beginning started out gentle, but the notes were joyful and full of life. The melody sounded like happiness in the form of a song. A blissful feeling came over him, like he was remembering something sentimental. Each note was a memory, but the memories were not his own. They were (Y/N)’s.  


The melody repeated, this time with more intensity. He could feel his heart beating in tempo with the music. It was a new memory now, one that made him feel nervous, as if there was something greater yet to come. The same joyful melody continued to caress his ears, and he secretly wished it would last forever.  


But it stopped. After a gentle arpeggio, (Y/N) struck a chord that was much darker now. The notes were more repetitive and drawn out now, as if she was hesitating to move forward. It was now a battle between her and the piano, as if she didn’t want the song to keep going. The relaxing melody that Hajime just heard was replaced by a sorrowful cadence of tragedy and loss. Not realizing, tears started rolling down his cheeks. He almost wanted to stop listening, like he was eavesdropping on a private conversation he wasn’t meant to hear.  


The song started slowing down, like each press of the key was a struggle. It then came to an abrupt stop, like it was unfinished. The music was replaced by (Y/N)’s quiet sobs.  


“I’m sorry, Nagito…I can’t…” she whispered  


“(Y/N)?” Hajime couldn’t remain hidden anymore.  


“Ah! Hajime! What are you doing here?” she said, startled by his sudden appearance.  


“I was up early, and I happened to see you walk in here…and—”  


“and you followed me?”  


“I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.”  


“Hajime, are you crying?”  


“W-what?” he was defensive at first. “Oh, I guess I was.” he touched a hand to his face. “I heard your song, (Y/N). I can see now why you are the Ultimate Composer.”  


“You heard all of it?” she sniffled. Her face flushed red for a moment.  


“All of it, until you stopped. That wasn’t the end, was it?”  


“No, there’s more. I-I’ll try again…” her voice was almost a whisper.  


“Do you want me to leave?” he offered.  


“I think it’s okay. I used to be afraid to play in front of people, but somebody helped me overcome that fear.” she smiled weakly. Hajime stood behind her and watched over her shoulder as she picked up where she left off. This time, there was more force behind each note, like she was trying to power through storm instead of taking shelter. But soon enough, the storm began to clear, and this time, the sun shined brighter than it ever had before. The same happy melody began playing again, but louder and more intricately. It was the grand finale, and nothing could stop her from moving forward.  


He saw her tears fall, but instead of tears of sorrow, they looked more like tears of joy, like she was relieved the hardest part was over. Finally, her playing softened. The song was coming to a close. With one final arpeggio, her hands alternated up and down the keys until she struck the final note that echoed for what felt like an eternity. She let her hands rest on the keyboard, eyes closed. After a moment, she turned to Hajime with tears in her eyes.  


“Will it reach him?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, that was a reference. No, I'm not sorry.


	14. Future

Makoto Naegi couldn't take his eyes off the screen. Although he knew that watching the broadcast would only fill him with guilt, he couldn't help it. He felt invested in what was going on, mostly because he was directly responsible for it. This time, he wasn't alone in his viewing. Kyoko Kirigiri and Byakuya Togami were standing over his shoulders, also tuning in to the broadcast this morning.  


They all watched in silence as (Y/N) played the piano. The monitor's speakers did no justice to the beautiful song they were hearing, but it was beautiful nonetheless. Even Byakuya seemed interested, which was unusual for him. He always said that watching the broadcast was counterproductive and that they should spend their time working on more important matters.  


"All of their suffering is because of me," Makoto said sadly, pressing his fist against the desk. "You can hear the pain in that song. It's real, not just part of some game."  


"You're too hard on yourself," Kyoko comforted him. "They would be a lot worse off if you didn't save them. We'll get them out of there. We’re getting closer."  


"But at what cost? They'll lose everything if we manage to perform the shutdown sequence." he raised his voice slightly. “Not to mention if the higher ups find out about this…”  


"Makoto, this is the only way we can stop the virus. It's a sacrifice that has to be made." Suddenly, the monitor went black.  


"Sorry to interrupt your lovers’ quarrel, but I believe we have a virtual world to break into." Byakuya scoffed, holding the remote in his hand.  


\--  


When (Y/N) opened her eyes, there was glowing blue light in every direction. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't move any part of her body. Before she could fully take in her surroundings, the glowing in front of her disappeared. It was a door. A face she had never seen before was looking down upon her.  


"Hello, (Y/N). Welcome back." the mysterious person extended their hand. Confused, (Y/N) grabbed it. She sat upright to reveal a dark room, only illuminated by the similar blue glow she first saw when she woke up. The source of the light seemed to be from what looked like stasis pods circled around the room, each hooked up to an enormous computer in the center. She looked down to notice she was sitting in one herself.  


"What's happening?" she mumbled, still feeling disoriented.  


"There's a lot to explain, but we'll explain it all after we wake up the others. If you want to wait in the other room, there's someone else waiting in there as well."  


Standing up was difficult, but her legs managed to hold her weight enough to not immediately fall over. She felt like she had been asleep for an eternity. Her head was swimming, trying to recollect what was real and what was a dream. Once she found the strength to move, she made her way to the room as she was directed. It looked like a small conference room, with about twenty chairs surrounding a long table. One person was waiting in the room, as expected. His hair was so long, it looked like it might touch his ankles if he were standing. Most of his face was hidden by his hair, but behind it, she could see one glowing red eye, the other eye seemed to be a soft golden color.  


"Hajime?" she asked nervously. She was sure that was his face, but the rest of his features were off.  


"I am called Izuru Kamukura...but you may continue to call me Hajime if you'd like." he said politely, but there was little emotion behind his voice.  


_Izuru Kamukura,_ she thought. It was still fuzzy, but she tried to remember what just happened before she woke up. She remembered during the class trial, Hajime was revealed to be part of the Izuru Kamukura Project, which involved a surgical procedure that completely erased the personality of the student know as Hajime Hinata and replaced him with Izuru, who was created to be the embodiment of talent.  


_Wait, I remember that?_  


"So Hajime is gone now?" her voice sounded slightly disappointed.  


"No. There is still a part of him within me. I still hold his memories from the virtual world, and a few from Hope's Peak Academy" he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small object. Chiaki's hairclip. "I remember her." He wrapped his fingers tightly around the clip for a moment before tucking it carefully back in his pocket.  


_Chiaki was real,_ (Y/N) remembered. The Chiaki they knew in the virtual world was an AI programmed to resemble their classmate from the outside world. _The real Chiaki died before we came to this island._ The despair-inducing memory was starting to come back to (Y/N), but not easily. Her brain was like a string that had been cut in half, and she was trying to reconnect each individual frayed end. It was tedious, and the more she tried to remember, the more overwhelmed she felt. The thought of not remembering what she didn't remember made her uneasy.  


"Do you remember everything that happened then? Inside the virtual world?" she asked him.  


"Yes. Do you not?"  


"I'm not sure...I feel like the memories are there, but they're behind a locked door."  


"Do you remember him?"  


"Who?  


"Nagito."  


"I remember…” (Y/N) scrunched her face for a second trying to think, “I remember that he died. Is he really dead?” there was worry in her voice.  


"Is that all you remember about him?" he ignored her question.  


"Yes, I think so.”  


“Interesting…”  


\--  


After the remaining survivors were awakened, the three Future Foundation members got them up to speed on their current situation. Now that they were freed from the virtual world, they discovered that they were located on the real Jabberwock Island, inside of the headquarter building set up by the Future Foundation. The island mostly resembled the virtual world, minus anything that was altered by the virus.  


After some evaluation, it seemed that the rest of the class had similar gaps in their memories like (Y/N) did. They remembered certain events from the virtual world, as well as their time spent under the influence of the Ultimate Despair. Hajime’s avatar was the only one to fully upload to his body, but instead of replacing Izuru’s personality, they merged together.  


“What will become of the others?” Sonia directed her question at the Future Foundation members.  


“We tried our best to restore their avatars, but…” Makoto paused, but Kyoko finished for him.  


“If you’d like, we could have some sort of memorial for them.” she said calmly.  


“So you guys are just giving up like that?!” Fuyuhiko shouted at them.  


“There has to be some way!” Sonia also chimed in.  


“I’m afraid there’s not. We tried but—”  


“I will restore them.” Izuru interrupted. His voice was quiet but unwavering.  


“We won’t leave until we do.” (Y/N) added. “We created this future not just for us, but for them too.”  


"Right.” Makoto nodded. He was smiling, and his eyes looked proud, almost like he was expecting this sort of response.  


The Future Foundation members were finally ready to set off. They promised to keep in contact, but with the secrecy of the operation, it would only be minimal. The rest was up to (Y/N) and her classmates. Although it was a relief to be free of the virtual world, (Y/N) felt incomplete. Her lack of memories left her feeling broken, like she was only a shadow of the person she used to be. The only thing she could do was sit back and watch as Izuru was hard at work trying to revive their braindead classmates.  


It took several weeks, but Izuru was successful. His mastery of talent allowed him to do the unthinkable and develop a method for restoring consciousness that would leave even the Future Foundation’s best programmers in awe. Everyone who was lost in the virtual world was now alive and well.  


Everyone except Nagito.


	15. Coffee

Sleep didn't come easy to (Y/N), despite the danger of the killing game no longer looming over her. Her mind was hopelessly trying to retrieve the memories she had lost, keeping her wide awake. It was early enough that she decided to give up on sleep and go for a walk around the island. The sun was hidden behind the clouds for once, giving the morning breeze a chill. Due to the way the virtual world was setup, it was always perfect, sunny weather inside. (Y/N) realized now how much she wanted to feel the rain again. She stopped for a moment to look up at the sky, hoping it would hear her plea. _Just one drop, please. I want to feel something._ The killing game was over. Her friends were alive. It seemed like the perfect happy ending. So why did she feel so empty?

"Good morning." a voice spoke from behind her, causing her to jump in surprise.

"Ahh, Izuru! How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough." his response was short, like he was losing interest quickly.

"What are you up to?" she asked, unsure if he would respond well to her attempt at starting a conversation.

"I'm going to continue working on bringing Nagito back."

"This early?!"

"Yes." There was awkward silence for a moment before (Y/N) decided to speak.

"C-can I come with you?" she asked nervously. She didn't really have a reason for going with him, other than wanting the company. 

"If you'd like." Without hesitating, he started walking towards the Future Foundation HQ, with (Y/N) in tow.

"So how do you do it?" She asked once they arrived.

"I've modified Alter Ego to be able to enter his psyche. Due to the traumatic nature of his death in the virtual world, his brain has created a defense mechanism, preventing him from waking up. Alter Ego is trying to destroy it." Izuru explained. He walked over to the computer in the center of the room and began typing something.

"And it's not working?" She peeked over his shoulder. On the screen, she saw Alter Ego, who now resembled Izuru.

"No. I haven't been able to enter yet. The walls he built are stronger than expected."

"Are you thinking of giving up?"

"No."

"You care about him a lot then, huh?"

"Not really, I always found him to be quite boring." he paused for a moment, "But there was someone who loved him. Maybe they still do."

"So you're doing all of this just so they can be together again? That's really sweet of you, Izuru."

"It's not me wanting to do this. It's _him._ " he said, sounding slightly annoyed.

"Who, Hajime?" she asked. Izuru just nodded while continuing to look at the computer. He seemed deep in thought, so (Y/N) decided to stop hounding him with questions for now. She quietly wandered around the room, eyeing all the technology to pass the time. Eventually, she made her way over to the pod where Nagito was still being held. She could see his silhouette through the illuminated blue glass, but not much more detail than that.

"How long will he last in this pod?" She couldn't resist asking another question.

"Not infinitely. There is enough support to keep him alive, but the human body can only live in this state for a limited time before it gives out." he answered. (Y/N) felt relieved he didn't sound annoyed by her questions.

"So you're working on a time limit?"

"Essentially."

"Are you stressed out?"

"No. To be honest, I find it interesting. For once, the outcome isn't so predictable."

"I feel stressed out just by watching you work so hard," she teased. "By the way, do you want something for breakfast? I can bring you something."

"I'm fine, thank you." he said politely.

"Not even a coffee? Tea?" she insisted.

"Coffee would be okay. Plain."

"Alright, two coffees it is! I'll be right back" she chirped.

The restaurant was lively again. (Y/N) couldn't remember the last time there had been this many people having breakfast together. Her nose quickly filled with the smell of Teruteru's cooking again.

"There she is!" Kazuichi called out as (Y/N) walked in. He was seated at a table across from Sonia and Gundham.

"(Y/N)!" Ibuki yelled out, her face was taken over by her cheerful grin. A few of the others looked over in her direction and smiled as well.

"Hey, everyone." (Y/N) responded, trying to look happy. It felt nice to be welcomed by everybody, but it didn't help her feel any less alone. She felt like she was watching everyone from behind a glass window; she could look, but not get close to anyone. It was a mystery to her how everyone seemed to be so relaxed after the trauma they just went through.

_Maybe it's because they have each other,_ (Y/N) thought.

"Would you care to join us?" Sonia nodded towards the empty seat at their table.

"Thanks for the offer, but I was just picking up some coffee to go." (Y/N) explained. She quickly poured the coffee into two cups before anyone else could ask her questions. At the last second, she decided to grab a small bowl of white rice before making her way back to the HQ building.

"Hey, here's your coffee. I also grabbed an extra pair of chopsticks in case you wanted some of this rice." She sat the cup down next to Izuru before taking a swig of her own. "Ow, that's hot."

"Did you expect something different?" he asked, not looking up from the screen.

"N-no, but I was just really excited to drink it." she defended herself.

"So predictable." She almost thought she saw him smirk out of the corner of her eye, but it was gone before she could get a good look.

"Any luck yet?" She asked with a mouthful of rice. She didn't realize how hungry she was until she took the first bite.

"Not yet. I think I have an idea about what to try next, but I'm going to need your help." He grabbed the extra chopsticks and reached for her bowl.

"Sure, whatever you need." she smiled at him before taking another bite.

"I need you to go inside his subconscious instead of Alter Ego. I think he will let you in." 

The sound of her chopsticks hitting the floor echoed throughout the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brb, changing this to Izuru x Reader.


	16. Song

“You want me to…what?” (Y/N) was in disbelief at Izuru’s request. To her, it didn’t even seem possible, but she had already seen the things that he was capable of and he wasn’t the type to joke around either.

“It would be similar to how you enter the virtual world. Using Alter Ego as a bridge, I think I can reroute the Neo World Program’s technology to be able to allow your psyche to enter Nagito’s.” he explained.

“Is it…dangerous?” she said with concern in her voice.

“It has the same risks as entering the virtual world did, except this time, you would be able to enter with all your memories of this world. And there wouldn’t be any risk of a virus taking over. So in that regard, it is safer.”

“I don’t know, Izuru. Why do you think I’d be better than Alter Ego for this?”

“Because there’s one category that Alter Ego falls short in: being human.”

“So why me? Won’t any human work for this?”

“Are you going to help me or not?” his tone was serious now. She could tell he was done with questions. He needed an answer.

“I…I’ll do it. But I’m scared.” she whispered.

“There is no need to be afraid. I will ensure your safety.” his voice was a bit gentler now, but it still felt emotionless. “and you’ll have some time to prepare. It will take a while to get the program ready.”

“Maybe you should take a break or something. It sounds like you have a lot of work ahead of you. And I could use a change of scenery too.” (Y/N) tried to smile, but it wasn’t genuine. It was difficult to mask the worry on her face.

“Nothing is stopping you from leaving.” he spoke without looking in her direction. Her jaw dropped at how easily he rejected her offer.

“I know that. Sorry, I just wanted—” before she could continue, Izuru stood up out of his seat abruptly, almost startling her.

“Let’s go.” He turned towards the door. (Y/N) quickly followed behind him, trying to keep his pace. After walking in silence, she finally spoke up as they approached the abandoned building.

“What are we doing?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Taking a break.”

She was happy he decided to stop working, but it wasn’t exactly what she had in mind. Nevertheless, she was willing to see what he had planned. He brought her to a room at the end of the hallway and flipped on the lights. A strange wave of familiarity rushed through her as she laid her eyes on the piano in the center of the room.

“Is this why we’re here? You want me to play?” she asked nervously.

“No. I’m going to play.” He took a seat at the bench and gestured for her to do the same.

“You can play piano?”

“I can play all instruments.” He said matter-of-factly. Without wasting anymore time, he began to play. It was a song that (Y/N) was sure she had never heard before. It wasn’t one of the classics, nor did it sound like anything contemporary. The melody gave her a nostalgic feeling, like she was remembering a past life full of joyful memories. Izuru never missed a note, his tempo never slowed, and each press of the key seemed carefully calculated. The dynamics transitioned smoothly, and each lift of the pedal was perfectly timed. When the song finally came to an end, (Y/N) was in awe.

“Izuru, that was so beautiful. Did you write that song?”

“No.” He paused for a moment before turning and looking (Y/N) in the eyes. “You did.”

She didn’t know why, but tears suddenly filled her eyes. She was overwhelmed with an emotion that she couldn’t quite find a name for. There was an emptiness in her chest that felt like a black hole trying to consume her from the inside out. A memory was trying to bring itself to the surface, but it was too distorted to comprehend. What was just a few tears had now turned into full-fledged sobs as she mourned the loss of all the beautiful memories that had once driven her to compose that song. A song that she had completely forgotten until now.

“How much have I lost? What did I forget? You said you remember everything, right? Then why aren’t you telling me what happened?!” she choked out her words between sobs, but there was anger in her voice. Izuru said nothing, so she continued.

“You know, you aren’t talented at everything. You’re terrible at being a friend. You have no emotions whatsoever. You’re selfish, and everything you do is just to entertain yourself. Is that why you brought me here? To play a song you knew would upset me and then leave me with no answers? You’re just—”

She was interrupted by arms suddenly pulling her into an embrace. For someone with such a cold demeanor, he gave off incredible warmth. Her face was pressed against his chest, so she closed her eyes and continued to let the tears fall.

“Hajime said this would make you feel better.” Izuru said softly with his usual tone.

“But how does it make _you_ feel?” she whispered. After a moment, he finally answered.

“Normal.”

\--

“Hey, Izuru.” She sat down a cup of coffee next to the keyboard he was typing at.

“Hey. Thanks.” He nodded in her direction before continuing what he was doing.

“I’m really sorry about what I said yesterday.” She pulled up a chair to the desk next to him and sat down. “I know it’s not your fault you are the way you are. And for the record, maybe you aren’t so terrible at being a friend.”

“So you consider us friends then?”

“Yeah, well, I guess I don’t know that much about you,” she admitted nervously. “But I’d like to know more. How about I ask you some questions?”

“You’re just now asking permission to do that?”

“S-Sorry, I won’t bother you then.” Her voice sounded disappointed. He suddenly dropped what he was doing on the computer and turned his chair towards her.

“Ask.” he said before taking a sip of his coffee.

“Uhm, okay. So what do you do for fun?”

“Fun?” he raised any eyebrow.

“Y’know, what’s your favorite way to pass the time?” she couldn’t believe she had to actually explain this to another person.

“Time passes the same no matter what I do.” he said dryly.

“Do you enjoy anything?!” she started to get flustered with his answers.

“I enjoy this.”

“This?”

“Coffee with you.” He took another drink. His answer caught her off guard. She immediately felt her face turn bright red.

“Oh, uhm…I enjoy it too.” She avoided his eyes as she spoke and looked down at her cup of coffee instead. He noticed this time she put ice in it. 

“Hajime was quite fond of you during your time together in the virtual world. I am most likely experiencing his feelings toward you.” he explained.

 _Liar,_ Hajime’s inner voice shouted at Izuru.

“Just one of the many side effects of our personalities merging.” he continued to speak, despite the now very prominent voice in his head opposing him.

_Those are NOT my feelings. Those are your own._

“Izuru?” he was brought back to reality by the sound of (Y/N)’s voice. “You looked like you were thinking about something.”

“It’s nothing. I should get back to working now." he turned his chair back towards the monitor. (Y/N) could have sworn he looked more flushed than usual, but his hair covered too much of his face to really tell.

"Will you be ready to test the program tomorrow?” he asked her.

“Tomorrow?!”


	17. Inside

Nothing (Y/N) did helped to calm her nerves, not even drinking her cup of coffee. She watched the ripples spread across surface of the dark liquid as she unsuccessfully tried to steady her hands.

"Are you sure you still want to do this? It's not too late to change your mind." Izuru questioned her. She could feel his eyes on her, which made her more self-conscious about how visibly nervous she probably looked.

"Y-yep. I'm sure." she barely squeaked out. 

"I assure you, there is nothing to worry about. I will be monitoring you the entire time. If anything gets out of hand, I can pull you out." He tried reassuring her, but somehow everything he said only added to her anxiety. All she could manage to do was nod.

"Are you ready to get started then?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

"Alright, so allow me to explain what will happen. Once you enter Nagito's subconscious, you will be put into the world that he has created for himself to hide from the trauma he has experienced. I do not know what this world will be like, so you'll have adapt to it quickly to ensure he doesn't reject your existence. Now, while you are within this world, all I need you to do is..." he paused for a moment. "I need you to pretend to be in love with Nagito."

"You're joking, right?" 

"No." He stepped closer to her before continuing, leaving very little space between them. "This is essential to the plan. You must get him to fall in love with you. How you do it is completely up to you. But when it does finally happen..." he leaned in close to her ear and whispered something.

"No! No, I can't do that! What if I—" she practically yelled at him. She could not believe he would ask her to do something so careless.

"I will not let anything bad happen to you. I wouldn't ask you to do it if I wasn't one-hundred percent confident with the outcome." As soon as he finished speaking, he caught her off guard with another unexpected embrace. When she realized what was happening, she wrapped her arms around him in return and rested her head on his shoulder. 

"Is that Hajime again trying to comfort me?" she asked him. 

"No." his voice was almost a whisper. "Not this time."

\--

"This might hurt a little," he apologized to her in advance. (Y/N) was now seated in one of the blue pods next to where Nagito was currently being held. Izuru gently lifted her arm and firmly inserted a needle into her vein. She winced at the burning pain that shot through her, but it was over before she could give it a second thought. Suddenly, all her previous anxiety faded away and she started to feel lightheaded.

"Listen to me, (Y/N)." he demanded. "Do not forget your goal. You must make Nagito fall in love with you." She wanted to respond, but instead, she just mumbled incoherently. Her limbs felt like they were made of jelly as she struggled to keep herself upright. A pair of arms supported her from behind, slowly lowering her down into the pod.

"When you remember why you wrote the song, you'll know it's time to do what I asked." His voice sounded like it was farther away than it really was.

The last thing she saw was Izuru's mismatched eyes staring down at her from above, followed by a blinding blue light. And then darkness.

\--

Nagito Komaeda was late for homeroom yet again. Through an unbelievable chain of bad luck, he found himself in the Nurse's office for what felt like the thousandth time this week. His bad luck never bothered him though, because it meant only one thing: good luck was on the way. As soon as Mikan finished dressing his wounds, he hurried off to class. But not before experiencing one more spout of bad luck.

As he turned the corner, he bumped into his classmate, who seemed to be just as in a hurry as he was. It was (Y/N), who was know as the Ultimate Composer. Right as they collided, she dropped everything she was holding and fell to the floor. It looked like an explosion of sheet music was raining down in the hallway. (Y/N) stood up, adjusting the violin case on her back and quickly brushing off her uniform.

"Let me help you with that," Nagito reached down and started gathering the scattered papers.

"N-Nagito?!" (Y/N) looked startled to see him. He was used to people reacting strangely towards him, so he brushed it off as usual.

"I'm really sorry you got tangled up in my bad luck." He frowned.

"No worries, it was my fault. I wasn't paying attention," she almost sounded frantic, like she had something else on her mind. 

"You're on your way to class, right?"he asked her.

"Oh, uh, yep! Running late!"

"But we're in the same class." He pointed out.

"Yes, right, I knew that!"

"You're going the opposite way..."

"I knew that too!" she laughed nervously.

"Well we better get going then."

When they finally arrived at the classroom, Nagito took a seat at his desk, located right in the center of the classroom.

"What happened to you? You look like you got hit by a train," Fuyuhiko whispered to him from the next desk over.

"More importantly, did you and (Y/N) just walk in together?!" A wide-eyed Kazuichi butted in a little too loudly.

"Oh, yeah, it's nothing. We happened to run into each other on our way here." Their conversation was interrupted by their teacher, Miss Yukizome, starting the class.

\--

_Okay, so this world is just Hope's Peak Academy. Everything seems normal. All I have to do is talk to Nagito. Easy, right?_ (Y/N) thought. She was anxiously tapping her pencil against her desk as class started, not really paying attention. All she could focus on was her current goal.

_But what if he never falls in love with me? If I fail, does that mean.. he'll die?_

"(Y/N)?" a voice called out to her.

"Huh?" she snapped out of her thoughts and noticed the classroom was empty, aside from her and one other person.

"Class is over. You were spacing out." Chiaki said, not looking up from her handheld game.

"Sorry, I'm just kinda out of it today," (Y/N) admitted. "I'll catch you later though!" She quickly gathered up her belongings and shoved them into her backpack and made her way out the door. The hallway was crowded, and the layout of Hope's Peak was unfamiliar to her after losing most of her memories . All she could do was wander the halls and hope Nagito hadn't gone too far. She eventually spotted him through the crowd, walking with Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi towards their next class. (Y/N) picked up her pace to catch up with him, trying her best not to cause a scene.

"Nagito!" she called out when she was close enough. She tried to catch her breath quickly before he would notice.

"Hey, (Y/N). What's going on?" Nagito stopped walking and turned towards her, his two friends doing the same. With all their attention on her, she just now realized how nervous she was.

_Just do it. This isn't even the real world, so what's there to worry about?_ she tried to convince herself.

"Hey, Nagito. I was just wondering if you wanted to, y'know, like...if we could maybe..." she tripped over her own words.

_Smooth._

"I was wondering if you wanted to hang out after school today." She finally blurted out.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he smiled at her apologetically. "You must have meant to ask someone else. There's no way any girl would actually want to hang out with someone like—" He was interrupted by an elbow jamming into his side.

"What he means to say is, 'Yes, I would love to. Where do you want to meet?'" Fuyuhiko chimed in.

"How about..." (Y/N) quickly scanned her surroundings, trying to think of somewhere. "How about by that statue outside?" She pointed towards the hallway window.

"Done! He'll be there!" Kazuichi spoke for him. 

"Well then," he smiled at her. "I guess I'll see you later, (Y/N)!" He gave her a quick wave before continuing on to his next class.


	18. Text

The school day was finally over and (Y/N) was patiently waiting next to the statue in the center of the courtyard. She stood on the tip of her toes, trying to see over the top of the crowd, but there was still no sign of Nagito. In an attempt to distract herself, she turned around and looked up at the statue that was towering over her. It was an intricate stone carving of an older man with an odd haircut and facial hair, resting his hands on some sort of scepter. She brushed her fingers over the plaque at the base of the statue, feeling the indentation of each letter.

"Izuru Kamukura" she read the name quietly to herself. The memories of the Izuru she knew were now flooding to the forefront of her mind. Although he seemed incapable of showing emotions, when he finally did, it felt so genuine. For a second, she wished she could feel his arms around her again, but she quickly pushed away the thought. Right now, she needed to focus on Nagito, who may or may not even show up.

"Hey, sorry I kept you waiting." A voice startled her from behind.

"Nagito!" She quickly turned her back to the statue to face the boy who was now standing before her. "I wasn't waiting long, don't worry."

"It's not too late to change your mind, y'know. You don't have to spend time with a waste of space like me." He smiled as he spoke, like it was a normal thing to say.

_Has he always been like this?_ She thought to herself. Retrieving memories of Nagito seemed to be the most difficult. It gave her a headache if she tried too hard. 

"I'm not changing my mind. Unless you are?" 

"No, of course not! It would be an honor to spend time with someone as talented as you. I just figured that someone put you up to this. Maybe you lost a bet?" 

"I'm not much of a gambler. Music is more my thing." she smiled, hoping they could finally change the subject. "Anyways, do you want to grab dinner or something?" 

After Nagito finally stopped questioning her motive, they decided to check out a new ramen shop that just opened up nearby the school. Once they got their food, they sat down at a booth next to the window and quietly watched people walk by as they ate. 

"I think I understand now why you asked to hang out." Nagito finally broke the silence. "It must be my good luck." 

"So that means you think this is a good thing?" she teased him. 

"I think it takes an incredible amount of luck for someone like me to be sitting here having dinner with the prettiest girl in our class." he said straightforwardly, like he was stating a commonly-known fact. (Y/N) was so caught off guard that she nearly choked on the food she was eating. 

"Nagito! You can't just say things like that..." she avoided his eyes, hoping he wouldn't notice how red her face was. 

"I'm sorry if I upset you." the smile disappeared from his face. (Y/N) immediately felt guilty for making him worry. 

"I'm not upset, it's just a little embarrassing to hear someone say that about me." she laughed nervously. "but thank you." 

"I should be the one thanking you." he was smiling again. "It really makes me happy that you're interested in talking to me." 

"I've been interested for a while, but I was always too nervous to say something until now." (Y/N) felt bad for lying to him, but it's not like she could openly tell him that she was only doing all of this as part of an undercover mission to save his life. 

"I'm used to that," he admitted, "Most people seem to get nervous around me, like they're afraid or something" 

"That's not what I meant, Nagito. This is a different kind of nervous." her face felt warm again, so she hurried and changed the subject. "We should probably get out of here before we get kicked out." Both of them had already finished eating, and it was starting to get dark outside. They decided to call it a night and head back to the dorms since they still had class tomorrow. Nagito offered to walk her back to her room first before saying their goodbyes. 

"I had a good time." (Y/N) said once they finally reached her dorm. 

"So did I." he smiled so big, his eyes weren't even open anymore. It was a sight that (Y/N) hoped to see more often. 

"Hey, do you want to exchange phone numbers?" she asked nervously. He agreed to the idea and handed over his phone. 

"Well, I guess I'll see you in class tomorrow." he smiled at her one more time before making his way over to the boys' dormitory. 

"Bye, Nagito." 

\--  
When Nagito got back to his room, the first thing he did was look at himself in the mirror. 

"Of all the things my luck could bring me, why did it have to be her?" His voice was full of frustration. "Why her? Why?!" This time he was nearly shouting. His breathing became more and more heavy and he started sweating. He wrapped his arms around himself, almost like he was in a strait jacket. He knew that whenever he experienced anything good, his cycle of luck would take it away from him. He wouldn't even be surprised if (Y/N) was already dead in some freak dorm room accident that happened right after he left. Before he could continue rambling to himself, he felt his pocket vibrate. (Y/N)'s name was flashing across the screen. He opened the message. 

_Hey, I forgot to say thanks for buying dinner. Next time is on me, okay?! :)_

After taking a deep breath and calming down a little, he responded to her. He insisted that he continue paying for their meals, since he had quite a large amount of money from inheritance and lottery winnings. Before he knew it, they were texting for the next few hours about anything and everything. They talked about their childhood pets, their favorite songs, things they could do next time they hung out, and more. It felt so normal, like there wasn't some impending bad luck waiting to take away all the happiness Nagito was feeling. But that didn't change the fact that he was feeling happy. And that's exactly how he felt right as he drifted off to sleep. His phone buzzed one more time after several minutes of his non-responsiveness. 

_Goodnight, Nagito. Sweet dreams._


	19. Lesson

Before Nagito could even fully sit down at his desk, he was already bombarded with questions about last night.

"So how did it go?!" Kazuichi whispered loudly, staring at him with wide eyes.

"You did show up, right? You bastard, I swear if you stood her up—" Fuyuhiko heatedly joined in. Nagito interrupted him before he could finish his threat.

"Yes, relax." he held his hands up defensively and smiled. "It was a good time."

"That's all you have to say about it? Tell us all the details!" Kazuichi insisted.

"We got dinner and exchanged numbers. There's not much more to tell you than that."

"She gave you her number?!"

"Don't act so surprised. Not everyone is as incompetent with women as you are." Fuyuhiko's words finally got Kazuichi to back off with the questions, which was a relief to Nagito. He didn't want to make a big deal out of his time spent with (Y/N), mostly because he knew it wouldn't last. His luck would make sure of that. The best thing that could happen right now would be if she just stopped talking to him all together. But that didn't stop Nagito from wishing the opposite would happen.

Right on cue, his thoughts were interrupted by (Y/N) walking into the classroom. She looked like she had been in a hurry; her face was slightly flushed. Half of her hair was tied up with a red ribbon, while the other half fell gently around her face. Her uniform jacket was wrapped around her waist and she had her usual violin case strapped across her back. Her eyes met with his own, and she flashed him a smile and a quick wave before taking her usual seat on the other side of the classroom.

"Hey, snap out of it!" Fuyuhiko said in a harsh whisper. "You stare at her any harder, she's going to be creeped out. It's a miracle you've made it this far without scaring her off."

"Have you guys planned a second date yet?" Kazuichi joined the whispering, still apparently not done asking questions.

"Date? Oh, no that wasn't a date." Nagito shook his head.

"Dumbass, just ask her out again. If you don't, I'm gonna beat the shit out of you!" Fuyuhiko threatened. Nagito didn't protest. He figured now was the time to put his luck to the test. Surely, she would say no this time. There was only a finite amount of good luck in the world, and it would only be wasted on someone undeserving like himself.

After class was over, he nervously lingered outside the door, waiting for (Y/N) to exit. When she finally appeared, he almost didn't notice. He was so lost in his own conflicting thoughts that she probably could have slipped right past him, but instead, she stopped to talk.

"Hey, Nagito. Are you waiting for someone?" she asked him.

"I was waiting for you, actually." He tried his best to smile. It seemed to be convincing enough, because she smiled at him too. "There's something I want to ask you."

"Sure," she gave a little nod, gesturing for him to continue.

"Do you want to hang out again?" He braced himself for rejection. _It's for your own good, (Y/N). Stay away from me._

"I'd love to! What do you want to do?" she responded cheerfully.

"Oh, I didn't expect you to say yes, so I didn't plan that far ahead," he laughed nervously.

"Of course I'm gonna say yes!" Her eyes sparkled as they met his gaze, which made his heart want to jump out of his chest. The feeling was brand new, but it also had a certain familiarity to it that he couldn't quite explain.

"Actually, I just remembered I have to give a music lesson after school." Her smile disappeared into a more neutral expression. "It shouldn't take long though, if you want to sit and watch. Just swing by the music hall when you're done."

"Sounds great, I'll see you later, (Y/N)."

\--  
Even though (Y/N) was only a side character in Nagito's dream, that didn't stop her from having a full school curriculum. Homework, exams, and according to the beeping reminder on her phone, she was giving music lessons as well. _Is this how Nagito remembers me? Was I actually this busy at the real Hope's Peak? she wondered._

Her student arrived for the lesson, which (Y/N) had to pretend wasn't the first time they've ever met before. The student was a middle school-aged boy who was preparing to enter Hope's Peak as the Ultimate Violinist. (Y/N) wasn't an expert at violin, but she found it helpful to learn a variety of instruments when composing songs. There were probably better violin instructors out there, but the boy's parents insisted he learn directly from a student of Hope's Peak to better his chances of admission.

"I can tell you practiced that piece a lot; it was nearly perfect." she told the boy after he finished playing. "But there's more to performing than just playing the notes. The most important parts of a song can't be written down on paper."

"So how do I know what to play if it's not written down?" he asked her.

"Let me ask you this, do you enjoy playing classical music?"

"Not really..." he admitted. "I only play it because that's what my parents think is best."

"What do you enjoy playing then? she questioned him. He only shrugged shyly in response.

"Well, let's just make a song you'll enjoy then!"

\--

Nagito quietly snuck into the music hall, trying his best not to disturb the ongoing lesson. He briefly caught the tail end of (Y/N) and the student's conversation as he found a seat near the back.

"Don't be afraid to improvise. Just tell me how you're feeling, but with the violin instead." (Y/N) spoke encouragingly. The boy let out a few mismatched notes and hesitated for a moment, looking up at (Y/N).

"That's good! Here, let me accompany you." She hurried over to the piano that was on the stage nearby. "Keep going."

This time, he played a chord, which was matched by (Y/N) on the piano. And another. Once the key of the song was established, she embellished her accompaniment, causing him to follow her lead. With each draw of the bow, his playing became more confident, and his melody began to shine through. (Y/N) dialed back her piano playing, letting the boy take the spotlight. She turned her head towards him, flashing him a reassuring smile, which was returned by the sound of his violin echoing cheerfully throughout the room.

Nagito couldn't help but admire the way (Y/N) looked so carefree. Her eyes were alive, like there was a wildfire burning behind them that couldn't be put out. But he saw something greater than that. He saw hope. That sparkle in her eyes wasn't just a reflection of light, it was a beacon of hope shining brightly for all to see.

The young violinist nodded at (Y/N) as they prepared for their finale. Now perfectly in sync, they carried each other towards the finish line. With one final chord, the duet was over. Nagito stood up out of his seat and clapped for the duo, unable to do anything but smile. (Y/N) stood up from the piano bench and gave him a quick bow, the violinist joining as well.

"Well, I think we're out of time for this lesson."

"That was so much fun! Miss (L/N), you're the best teacher." He grinned.

"Your parents might disagree, so in order to make them happy, I want you to look over that Concerto one more time for next week's lesson." Disappointment momentarily washed over the boy's face. "But...when they aren't around, I want you to practice improvising, okay?" She quickly reached into her backpack and grabbed a notebook, tearing out a few pages. "If you create a melody you like, write it down here. It's manuscript paper."

"Okay, see you next week!" he grabbed the papers from her hand and skipped happily out the door.

"Hey, Nagito, you actually came!" she beamed.

"I wanted to see 'Miss (L/N)' in action!" he teased her. "You are an amazing teacher. I've never seen someone have so much fun playing the violin before."

"I've seen so many creative minds swept under the rug by oppressive parents and teachers who only believe in perfecting the classics. There's so much more to being a musician than that." her expression was serious now.

"You're really passionate about music. It's cute." he admitted, causing her face to turn bright red. Cute was an understatement for how he really viewed her. She was much more than that. She was truly beautiful. "You should talk about it more often."

"I prefer to let my songs do the talking."

"I'd love to hear you play a song that you wrote," he said hopefully.

"M-Maybe another time." She hurried to change the subject. "Let's get outta here, okay?"

They made their way back to the dorms, conversing the entire way. (Y/N) was easy to talk to and Nagito found himself opening up to her more and more with each conversation. It also made the time breeze by, because before he knew it, they were standing outside her dorm.

"Well, thanks for spending time with me again, (Y/N). I don't know what I did to deserve it." Nagito said.

"You don't have to do anything except be yourself," she placed a hand gently on his arm and slowly moved towards his hand, taking his fingertips in her own. He gave her hand a squeeze before finally saying goodbye for the night.

_How long until my luck runs out?_


	20. Time

The weekend finally arrived and (Y/N) was relieved to be free of school work for the time being. It had been a full week since she entered this world and she was beginning to worry about how much time she had left to complete her mission. Izuru told her that Nagito's time was limited, and she found it hard to believe that seven days had already gone by. _There's no way I can make him love me fast enough. Izuru, what were you thinking?_

To make matters worse, she was really starting to like Nagito. She felt like she could truly be herself around him. Not just herself, but a better version of herself. He made her feel more confident and he always knew the right thing to say to encourage her. There was something about this being around Nagito that made her feel at home. And his life was now in her hands. The pressure was breaking her and all she could think to do was cry. She pressed her face into her pillow on her bed, and let it absorb her tears.

Unexpectedly, she felt something touch her shoulder. It felt almost like a hand, but there was no warmth to it. It was just a sensation, but it still startled her. She turned around to see Alter Ego standing behind her. His glowing red eyes were unblinking, and he was nearly transparent. Pixelated red squares constantly flashed over him, making it hard to keep her eyes focused.

"(Y/N), Izuru sent me to check on you, but I don't have much time. He was monitoring your vitals and noticed your heart rate and stress levels suddenly spiked."

"Can he see everything that happens here?" she asked. 

"No, he can only monitor your physical body. Time here moves too quickly to be observed in real time. It's similar to having a dream."

"How much time has passed in the real world since I got here?"

"Approximately eight hours." A wave of relief washed over her. She still had time. "As long as you are doing fine, I must go now."

"Tell Izuru not to worry about me, okay?" She forced a feeble smile. Her cheeks were still stained with tears. "And tell him to take a break. I bet he hasn't left the lab once since this started."

"I will tell him what you said. Goodbye, (Y/N). Do not give up." With his final parting words, Alter Ego faded away in a flash of red.

_I still have time, I still have time,_ (Y/N) repeated over and over in her head. Alter Ego's words were exactly what she needed to hear. She scrambled out of bed to get dressed, almost tripping over every piece of furniture in her dorm. She grabbed the first clothes she saw out of her laundry basket, which ended up being some black leggings and a plaid shirt that she left unbuttoned over a white t-shirt. Right as she was about to walk out her door, she reached in to her pocket and pulled out her phone.

_I'm coming over._

She pressed send without thinking twice. Normally she wasn't one to show up uninvited, but she couldn't wait any longer. She wanted to be with him. Not because she felt forced to, but because she wanted his company. With the weight of the time limit no longer as heavy, she had a new goal in mind. She wasn't going to try to make Nagito love her. She was going to make Nagito love himself.

"Hi, (Y/N). Is everything—" Nagito said as he opened his door, but he was cut off by (Y/N) throwing herself at him. She wrapped her arms around his stomach and buried her face into his shoulder. His neck felt soft against her cheek and she could smell the faint aroma of soap on his skin. It was a relaxing feeling that she wanted to savor every second of.

"Is everything okay?" he finished his sentence, sounding slightly worried. Nevertheless, he returned her embrace and pulled her closer to him, slowly running one of his hands along the length of her back.

"It is now." her voice was muffled by his shoulder. She didn't want to pull away, but eventually she lifted her head up to face him, still keeping her arms around him. Their faces were so close now that she could see the flecks of silver in his green eyes.

"(Y/N), have you been crying? Your eyes are red." he looked at her with even more concern. She frantically tried to come up with an excuse, but it felt pointless.

"I had a rough morning, but I'm fine now." she tried her best to muster up a smile.

"Do you want to come inside then? Sorry, I wasn't expecting guests, so I didn't tidy up." He apologized. His room was clean enough, save for some dirty laundry strewn about. The dorm was nearly identical to (Y/N)'s, other than the color scheme being more boyish. She took a seat on the futon, joined by Nagito shortly after.

"Sorry for the short notice." she said once they both settled into their spots.

"It's no problem at all, (Y/N). Was there something you wanted to talk about?"

"Yeah, I just... I wanted to thank you. For talking to me and spending time with me. It means a lot and I've enjoyed every second of it."

"I should really be the one thanking you. It's really amazing that you're able to enjoy the company of someone like me."

"No. Nagito, stop." She cut him off. His eyes widened in surprise, but he didn't continue. "I don't like 'someone like you', I just like _you_. No luck involved, okay?" Her voice trembled a little as she spoke. Was she nervous? Upset? All her emotions swirled together, making it impossible to tell.

"But I could never compare to you, or even any of our classmates. You all have incredible talents that shine so brightly. You're all worth something, and you'll all go on to do great things. Having Ultimate Luck is a useless talent. I can't even control it." he smiled sadly, avoiding her eyes and looking down at his palm.

"Maybe you can't control it, but that doesn't mean you should let it control you. Talent doesn't define who you are, Nagito. There's so much more to you than that."

"Aah..." he sighed. "That's so like you, (Y/N). Always believing in others so unconditionally. Your kindness is wasted on me." His voice was soft. (Y/N) tried her best to blink back the tears pooling in her eyes, hoping the action went unnoticed. She wasn't sure there was anything she could do to get through to him anymore. Maybe it was time to give up.

"I've upset you." he crossed his arms. "This just further proves how worthless I am, (Y/N)."

"Fine...you win." she choked out the words, unable to hold back the tears any longer. "If you want to push me away so badly, then why should I stop you? I'll just go." She stood up from her seat on the futon and turned towards the door. Everything she did felt so hopeless. _If he can't love himself, how will he ever love me? I've failed you, Nagito. I'm sorry._

"No." Just one word. That was all he said. She turned back to face him. He was still in the exact spot as before, but now there was the glisten of tears that had left a trail along his face. "If I was strong, I would tell you to go and forget about me. But I'm weak, (Y/N)." Another tear fell, and he reached his arms out towards her ever so slightly, inviting her. Without thinking, she made her way over to him and knelt on the futon in front of where he was sitting and threw her arms around his neck. He gently wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her onto his lap, cradling her like a small child.

"I'm sorry, Nagito..." she whispered into his chest, letting tears fall onto the jacket he was wearing. "I didn't mean it..."

"It's my fault, (Y/N). I always say things without thinking about how it makes others feel. I didn't mean to hurt you, but I still did anyways. You really don't deserve that." He nestled his chin against the top of her head.

"It doesn't matter what you think I do or don't deserve. What I want right now is _this._ " She snuggled closer into them, making sure there was no space left between them. "Is that okay?"

"Yeah..." he sighed, "this is okay." And that was how they remained, neither of them speaking another word. 


	21. Dream

When (Y/N) woke up, she felt a warmth against her face. She tried moving, but her neck felt stiff and something was constricting her. She blinked a few times, trying to come to her senses. Arms. There were arms around her. Nagito's arms. The realization startled her, causing her to inhale a little too loudly. Her sudden movements must have startled Nagito too, because she felt him stir underneath her. He pulled his arms away from her, only to stretch them sleepily behind his head.

"Good...morning, I guess?" he yawned.

"Good morning." she let out a small cough, trying to get the tiredness out of her voice.

"Sorry, I didn't want to wake you. You looked so peaceful, so I stayed like this."

"T-Thank you." She was glad her face was still against him, or else he would see how flustered she looked. "What time is it?" her eyes darted around the room in search of a clock.

"It's almost noon." he said, looking at his phone.

"Well, there goes our morning." She mimicked his yawn. "Hungry?"

"Yeah, I could eat. What should we get?"

"We could go to that ramen place again."

"We've been there twice already!" he protested, but there was still a smile on his face.

"But I like it! She fake pouted for a second before laughing. "I won't stop until I've tried everything on the menu."

"Alright, alright. Let's go then."

They sat at their usual spot in the restaurant, facing the window. The owner smiled at then when they walked in, probably recognizing them as regulars by now. It was familiar, and (Y/N) almost found it funny that she could have such a routine in this world. Nothing here was real, but did that mean her feelings weren't real either? It was disorienting to think that she'd have to return to the real world sometime sooner than later. Was it bad if she didn't want to leave? She pushed that feeling away quickly and focused on the bowl of ramen in front of her. _Fake or not, this ramen is delicious_ , she thought to herself.

"Hey, (Y/N) ...I have a question." he asked quietly, breaking the comfortable silence between them.

"Sure, go for it."

"Is this a date?" his eyes were wide with innocent curiosity as he looked at her for a response.

"Well, do you want it to be?"

"Yes." His bluntness caught her off guard.

"Then it's a date." she smiled at him, but he still looked like something else was on his mind.

"What about the other times we went out like this? Were those dates too?"

"Hmm, yeah. I guess so."

"So does that mean we're...dating?"

"Yep, I think that's what that means." She felt the warmth flood to her cheeks as she met his gaze. His face was also tinted a soft pink, which brought color to his normally pale completion. Seeing him look happy made her heart flutter.

_Will we still feel this way about each other after all this is over?_ Her thoughts were plagued by worries about the future. _What if we forget about what happened here?_ She winced at an even worse thought that slithered its way to the forefront of her mind.

_What if Nagito still doesn't wake up?_

"(Y/N)?" she was brought back to reality by his voice gently calling out to her.

"Sorry, I was spacing out." she let out a nervous laugh that probably sounded more hysterical than amused.

"You're, uhh..." he reached out his knuckle towards her cheek and carefully wiped away a single tear that had escaped from her eye unnoticed. She felt betrayed by that tear. Her worries had to be kept a secret from Nagito. Now he would know something was wrong and she’d have to come up with yet another lie.

"I'm really sorry..." She apologized again, but her voice was barely audible. "I think there must be something in my eye.” He looked at her skeptically, but she was thankful he didn’t push any further. Instead he gently placed his hand on top of hers and gave her a concerned smile.

“Are you finished eating then? You haven’t taken a bite in a while.” His eyes flicked down to her half-eaten bowl of ramen.

“Yeah, I’m not so hungry anymore. Ready to go?” she asked. He simply nodded in response.

After they left the restaurant, they loitered outside for a bit, unsure of where to go next. The sidewalks were bustling with people, thanks to the freedom of the weekend. It was loud and colorful and watching the unique faces pass by was a decent distraction for the time being. (Y/N) felt at ease, but she could sense Nagito was anxious to get away from the noise.

“Want to go for a walk? Somewhere more relaxing, like maybe the park.” she offered.

“As long as that’s what you want.” he smiled. They ended up walking along a quieter side street on the way to the park, leaving them with the entire sidewalk to themselves. Even without the crowd of people, they still walked closely together. (Y/N) felt Nagito’s fingers lightly brush against hers, presumably an accident. But instead, he weaved his fingers in between her own. His hands were cold, and she shivered at the unexpected contact.

“Is this okay?” he asked her with a doe-eyed look on his face.

“Yes.” she breathed nervously, giving his hand a reaffirming squeeze.

“If we run into anyone we know, we can stop. I wouldn’t want to embarrass you.” Although she wasn’t looking at him, she could hear the smile in his voice. He was always so cheerful when he made those self-deprecating comments. It felt like a punch in the gut each time.

“If we see someone we know, I’ll make sure to pull you extra close.” She stopped walking amd gave his arm a tug, closing any distance between them. She stood on the tip of her toes and touched their noses together, just for a second. It was enjoyable watching his face instantly flush with color again. They resumed their normal walking positions like nothing happened, but she couldn’t help but smile. Seeing him so flustered was delightful. She wasn’t big on public displays, but she could get used to it if it meant seeing that reaction more often. Maybe showing him that she wasn’t afraid to be seen with him in public would make him feel worthier of her affection.

They continued walking, finally arriving at the park. The trees were on fire with the colors of Autumn, letting their fallen leaves hide most of the stone walkway in front of them. (Y/N) was only now starting to notice how crisp the air was. She held Nagito’s hand a little tighter, seeking any warmth she could. They finally settled on a bench near the side of a shallow pond that was in the center of the park.

“Do you want my jacket?” he offered as they sat down.

“No, I’m okay. But thank you.” He wasn’t persistent with the offer, but instead decided on holding her close to him, rubbing his hand up and down the length of her arm to generate warmth. It surprisingly did take some of the chill away. She leaned into him and stared at the pond in front of them, watching the fallen leaves slowly float along the surface.

“Hey, Nagito?” she broke the silence after a few minutes.

“Yes?”

“What…” she hesitated. “what would you do if you woke up one day and realized that all of this was just a dream?”

“Well, I guess that depends.” His eyebrows scrunched together in deep thought. “Do I remember the dream, or did I forget?”

“You remember it.”

“If it was a good dream, I’d probably just try to replay it in my head a few times before I eventually forget about it. If it was a nightmare, I’d probably just feel relieved that it wasn’t real.”

“So if your life right now was a dream, would you say it’s a good dream or a nightmare?”

“Definitely a good dream. Unless, I find out right now I failed an exam or I’m suddenly in my underwear or something.” They both laughed for a second before (Y/N) continued her questions.

“What about if you forget the dream? Like, you can feel that you had a good dream, but you don’t remember anything about it. Would you be sad?”

“I’m not sure. It would be hard to feel sad about something you have no memory of. Maybe it would just be better to be happy you had a good dream instead of a nightmare.”

The reality hit her like a truck. If he woke up and forgot about all of their time together, there wouldn’t even be anything to be sad about.

_No, that’s wrong_ , she thought to herself. A forgotten dream is still a dream. It was real. It existed. It must be locked away somewhere. It’s worth being sad about, even if it can’t be remembered. No, a forgotten dream isn't just a dream...

A forgotten dream is a nightmare.


	22. Clouds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listened to this piano [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VR-6AS0-l4) while writing this chapter. So if reading and listening is your thing, here ya go!

Nagito couldn’t help but worry about (Y/N). Something about her was off. Like showing up at his door uninvited with evidence of recent tears still lingering on her face. Or the sadness in her voice whenever she spoke. Any attempt she made to mask it only made it more noticeable. Their conversation about dreams also seemed out of the ordinary compared to their usual topics. He tried not to read too much into it, but he couldn’t help but let his mind wander to the possibility that there was some deeper meaning behind it. Was she having dreams lately? Nightmares, maybe? He felt almost guilty because the idea of her mind being plagued by some sort of despair was comforting to him. It meant he wasn’t alone. He thought that maybe he could open up to her a little more, but he quickly brushed that thought away.

_Don’t scare her away,_ he repeated over and over in his head. But why was this time different? He was used to scaring people away. His luck cycle had taken so much away from him that he found it hard to mourn the losses anymore. Instead, everything bad in his life just felt like another inevitable occurrence. Another opportunity for hope to shine brighter. But for some reason, the thought of losing her felt so…hopeless. So much that he didn’t want to imagine it any longer. He knew she would be gone from him sooner or later, but he decided for now to enjoy every second he had with her. He just hoped that whatever unlucky circumstances eventually tore them apart would at least end well for her.

His pondering was interrupted by the shivering body that was seated next to him on the park bench. He felt (Y/N) lean her head against his shoulder, slowly sliding one of her arms through the unzipped opening of his jacket and around his torso, clinging to him for warmth. He could feel her cold hand against his back, causing him to shudder for a moment.

“It’s colder out than I expected,” she spoke through clattering teeth. “It’s not supposed to be winter yet.”

“Let’s go somewhere else then?” he suggested.

“S-sure. Any ideas?”

“Well…” he hesitated, “I still really want to hear you play music, if I’m being honest.” Her expression looked pained for a moment before she lightened up.

“I guess I could do that…I think the music hall should be empty this weekend.”

\--

It wasn’t a long way back to the academy and the warmth of being indoors was welcoming. They finally made it to the music hall, which was empty as expected. (Y/N) was silent almost the entire way there, which Nagito felt a bit responsible for. She didn’t seem too excited at the idea of playing in front of him, but she insisted it was fine. Still, she held his hand as they walked, unsure if it was because she really wanted to or if she was just cold. She led him up on the stage where the piano was located off to the side. He stood there, unknowing if he should sit next to her on the bench, but she turned her head up at him slightly, eyeballing the empty space beside her.

“I’m not really good at playing in front of other people, so I’ll probably mess up a lot. I’m sorry….” her voice trailed off, but before he could respond, she began playing. The melody was cool and crisp, almost like the frosty winter air. Her playing was gentle and reserved, but there was a certain sorrowful sound afflicting it. It was almost nostalgic to him, even though there were no memories to go along with it. Nagito closed his eyes for a moment to fully take in the sound, letting it wash over him like a cold shower.

“That was Chopin.” he said as soon as she finished playing. “Nocturne?”

“Yes, do you like Chopin?” her eyes lit up for a moment.

“I…” he tripped on his words. He had no knowledge of classical music; it never even interested him. He maybe could recognize some familiar pieces, but there was no way he could know them by name, let alone the composer’s name. So why did he know this one? “I don’t really know.”

“Oh.” he saw a flash of disappointment in her eyes before she moved on. “Did you like that piece? It’s one of my favorites.”

“It was lovely, (Y/N).” he looked into her eyes and saw his own reflection staring back. He wanted her to look away from him, like his reflection was somehow unworthy to be displayed on her eyes. Everything seemed like it was happening so fast. Until recently, she was just another face in the classroom. It happened so fast, he just couldn’t believe it was a coincidence. He felt like he had known her before. Maybe it was in a past life. Maybe in a dream.

He reached out and gently brushed his knuckles down the side of her cheek. She welcomed him, leaning into his touch and closing her eyes. Without thinking, he softly pressed his lips against hers.

\--

(Y/N) knew it was coming. It was no surprise when it happened. He kissed her. And she had every intention of kissing him back. But when his lips met hers, she was frozen. There was something electrifying that coursed through her as soon as their kiss began. It was overwhelming, like an electrical current was rushing to her brain and firing off every synapse all at once. Memories flooded her mind. She saw Nagito looking down at her with clear blue skies as the backdrop. She felt the sand beneath her, each tiny grain pressing into her exposed skin. The sound of the ocean waves crashing to shore, the smell of brine carried by the breeze.

_“Hey…can you hear me? Are you okay?”_

She heard his voice. It was gentle, quiet, like a calm before the storm. All her memories of their time together from inside the virtual world came rushing back to her. The missing pieces all fell into place and the emptiness inside her was cemented over. There was a song in her heart again and she immediately recognized the melody. It was the song that Izuru told her she had written. When she was finally able to get a grasp on her thoughts, the realization hit her. She thought back to her previous conversation with Izuru about why he was so adamant on making sure Nagito woke up.

_"Are you thinking of giving up?"_

_"No."_

_"You care about him a lot then, huh?"_

_"Not really, I always found him to be quite boring." he paused for a moment, "But there was someone who loved him. Maybe they still do."_

The last words he spoke echoed through her mind. Someone who loved Nagito. It was her. She loved him once already. Even after losing all of her memories of being in love with him, she fell in love with him all over again. She heard Izuru’s words in her head once more and answered him silently.

_I still do. And that’s why I wrote that song. I wrote it for Nagito._

“I’m sorry, (Y/N). I shouldn’t have done that. I just thought…” Nagito pulled away from her as he spoke. No longer feeling frozen, she nearly lunged at him, pulling him back into a kiss. This time, there was more force behind it. It was desperate, hungry, like they were finally reunited after a lifetime apart.

_"When you remember why you wrote the song, you'll know it's time to do what I asked."_ Izuru’s voice was back in the forefront again. She understood what he meant now. Her goal was never to make Nagito fall in love with her, because he had already done that. Maybe not in this world, but in the world that mattered. Izuru wanted her to remember that on her own. Now she only had one thing left to do.

_“…You must get him to fall in love with you. How you do it is completely up to you. But when it does finally happen..." he leaned in close to her ear and whispered something._

_“You need to wipe your existence from his world. End your life. Quick, and abruptly.”_

(Y/N) was standing now, even though she never felt her legs move. Everything was on autopilot.

“(Y/N)? Where are you going…?” She didn’t have time to answer. If she thought about this for too long, she might change her mind. Even if she did change her mind and choose to live out the rest of her days in this world, all she could imagine was their bodies in the real world, slowly deteriorating in the pods until their consciousness switched off like a light. And just like that, this world would be gone. No, she had to do this. There was no turning back now. She bolted out of the music hall without another word. She could hear him calling for her, but she couldn’t look back now. Frantically, she ran through the hallways with a destination in mind. She finally saw the illuminated sign hanging down from the ceiling. Stairs.

“(Y/N)! Please wait!” His voice echoed down the hallway. Using every last ounce of energy, she hurried up the stairs of the academy. Her lungs were on fire and her legs felt like noodles, but she kept pushing on. Her footsteps were not alone. She heard Nagito climbing behind her, although still several flights below. It didn’t matter; she was already there. The roof.

Taking a moment to catch her breath, she walked slowly towards the edge of the building. It was a long way down and for a moment, she realized how afraid she really was. She let her toes teeter back and forth on the ledge carelessly, secretly hoping she would accidentally lose her footing. An accident would mean there was no time to overthink things. But she wasn't so lucky.

“(Y/N).” he panted, just as out of breath as she had been. “Get away from there. Please!” There was desperation in his voice as he ran closer to her.

“Nagito, stay back.” Her voice was quiet, but unwavering. He didn't come any closer “I have to go now.”

“Go where? What are you saying? Please…Come back to me, (Y/N).” he barely choked out. She saw the tears in his eyes and resisted the urge to look away. She owed it to him to at least look him in the eyes.

“You have to trust me, Nagito. This isn’t the end.”

“Why?” his voice was almost a whisper. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because I love you. I won’t forget this time.” she flashed one final teary-eyed smile at Nagito before she let her weight pull her down. The last things she saw were the white clouds above her.


	23. Destroy

This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. Nagito had planned out all the different scenarios in his head a million times before. It was supposed to be a freakish accident, or something out of his control. Best case scenario, she would have left him for somebody better and moved on to live a happy life. She was always going to leave him, he was so sure of that. Losing everything and everyone he ever cared about was a constant in his life. But why did it happen like this?

He watched helplessly as she let herself fall, smiling as she lifted her toes off the ledge. He wanted to reach out to her, but instead he was frozen in place. His knees buckled underneath him, and he crumbled to the floor, gasping for air. There was a tightness in his chest that made it feel like his heart might implode. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to hold it together, but instead he just choked on what might have been a sob if he was able to produce tears. But there were none. He replayed the scene of her final moment in his head over and over. Her smile looked so tranquil, like she had fully accepted her decision and was trying to reassure him everything was okay.

He couldn’t help but wonder if there was something he could have done differently to stop her. If he just ran a little faster or said something differently. Maybe he could have reacted quicker or held onto her tighter before she could even try to run away. It almost felt as if this wasn’t a result of bad luck. He felt like he had control over the outcome. He could have stopped her, but he didn’t. Completely and utterly useless.

By now, he expected to be hearing the screams of bystanders. The paramedics would be on their way. Part of him wanted walk closer to the edge. To see her one last time, even if she looked like an tiny speck on the pavement. He shakily picked himself up off the ground and dragged himself over to the ledge. Each step he took made his stomach turn and he resisted the urge to start dry-heaving at the thought of seeing her lifeless body from above.

There was nothing. The sidewalk was busy with pedestrians, scurrying along to their destinations like a colony of ants. There was no ambulance, no sirens, no screams. No (Y/N). She was gone without a trace. The only thing Nagito could do was laugh, even though nothing about the situation was humorous. His body convulsed as he laughed hysterically, making his lungs ache as they pushed out every last bit of air.

He almost didn’t notice that the partly-clouded blue sky above him had darkened. It wasn’t the dark color of storm clouds. It looked as if the clouds were made out of black tar. The air was thick with smoke and ashes fell like snowflakes. The buildings around him had been reduced to rubble, and whatever was left standing was up in flames. The world had transformed to total chaos in just a blink of an eye. The only building that remained untouched was the one he was currently standing on. But that didn’t last for long. He felt the foundation shaking beneath him. Hope’s Peak Academy was crumbling right under his feet. All he could do was close his eyes and think of her one more time. Her last smile. It was inviting him.

\--

Heavy. Everything felt heavy. He was pinned down by the rubble of the building, but he felt no pain. Using all the strength he could muster, he pulled himself out from underneath the wreckage. He looked down to see he was now wearing something different than he remembered. It was a familiar green jacket, coupled with a t-shirt and black jeans. Across from him stood a figure that he almost didn’t recognize behind the sporadic red pixels that were flashing all over it.

“World destruction complete.” He heard the person say. Almost instantly, the chaotic world around him changed to an empty white room. Calling it a room might have been the wrong word choice, because as far as he could tell, there were no walls. It was just endless white. Now he could clearly see the face standing before him. It only took a second before everything became clear.

“Aah, finally free from that nightmare.” he sighed. “We’re inside the Neo World Program, right?

“Indeed.” the person spoke.

“That was definitely a world in need of destroying…a world without her.” he felt a wave of relief rush over him, but he tried his best to keep calm. “And you’re Izuru Kamukura, I take it?”

“Not exactly, but yes. I am an Alter Ego modified to perform Psychodives. After your death in the Neo World Program, the traumatic circumstances of your death caused psychological instability. We had to eliminate that instability. But I couldn't do it alone.”

“So what you’re saying is…everyone in there was all in my head?”

“Yes. Everyone except for her.” As if right on cue, another body materialized in front of him.

“(Y/N) …” he breathed.

“The defenses you put up were too strong for me to enter. She was the only person you would let inside.” Alter Ego continued to explain.

“Nagito…we’ll tell you everything once you wake up, okay? I’ll be there waiting for you.” she smiled at him gently.

“Tell me…” he hesitated for a moment. “Was all of that being monitored from the outside?” he felt his face warm up as he thought about the moments he spent with (Y/N), thinking nobody was watching them. He looked over at her for a second and almost swore she was blushing too, but it was difficult to tell with the red particles dancing over her face.

“No. Only (Y/N) saw what went on inside.” Alter Ego responded.

“Thank goodness,” he sighed in relief.

“Are you okay, Nagito? Are you ready to wake up?” (Y/N)’s voice was laced with concern, but there was a softness to it. He nodded.

“All assigned tasks executed successfully.” As soon as Alter Ego finished speaking, the world around him dissolved into a flash of white before it all went completely dark.

\--

Izuru sat patiently, keeping his eyes glued to the monitors nearby the pods. Nothing was out of the ordinary. Heart rates were steady. Brain activity was constant. It was boring. The entire day was gone, and the darkness of the night was slowly creeping in. Not that he would know that for sure. The only indicator of what the outside looked like was the clock on the wall, which told him it was nearly ten o’clock at night. He hadn’t left the laboratory once since (Y/N) entered the program. Even though he felt the pangs of hunger in his stomach and his eyes were strained from staring at the screen, he couldn’t bring himself to leave for even a minute. Instead, he leaned his head against the back of his chair and closed his eyes for a moment, letting the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitors drown out his thoughts.

Before Izuru could even fully relax, the monitor readings became chaotic. He opened his eyes to see red flashing lights on the pods and warnings flashing across every screen. Alter Ego appeared before him on one of the monitors.

“Should I extract her from the program?” His red eyes were unmoving as he spoke. Izuru typed an affirmation in response. After a few seconds, the beeping slowed back to their normal speed and he let out a long exhale. He didn’t realize he was holding his breath. The red light on (Y/N)’s pod turned to green, followed by Nagito’s shortly after. Immediately rushing over to a pod, he carefully lifted the top, exposing the frail figure of the sleeping boy underneath.

“Hey! Can you hear me?” he hovered over Nagito, whose eyes were still closed. He had been inside the pod longer than anyone else and Izuru was concerned for his health. Nagito was already quite thin, but now he looked skeletal. His skin was nearly translucent, and he could see veins and dark circles around his eyes. And then there was the arm. He would immediately need to remove it. There was still much work to be done, but this was a start.

After a few seconds, his eyelids started to flutter. Izuru repeated himself.

“Can you hear me?” Nagito’s eyes were completely open now, although still heavy with sleep.

“Aah, Izuru Kamukura?” His voice was raspy and barely audible. “No, you’re, uh, Hajime Hinata, right?”

“They’re both me. Call me whatever you’d like.” Izuru extended his hand out and carefully helped him sit upright.

“Is she—”

“She’s fine.” Izuru cut him off. He nodded slightly in the direction of the nearby pod, the green light still illuminated. “But you need immediate medical attention. Can you stand?” Nagito tried to lift himself, but all of his strength had been sapped during his time asleep.

“I guess not.” he smiled slightly. Without hesitation, Izuru reached down and slid an arm underneath Nagito’s knees and another behind his back and lifted him up effortlessly, probably because of how dangerously underweight he currently was.

“Thanks for saving me…Hajime.” He hesitated for a moment, deciding what name to use. “What about the others? Did they get saved too?”

“You’re the last one up.”

Nagito let out a small sigh before pressing himself closer into Izuru’s chest. Izuru flinched at the sudden contact, but he quickly let himself relax. He looked down and saw Nagito had closed his eyes, a hint of a smile still on his face. Without saying another word, he continued on to the hospital. He looked down at the dead arm of the Ultimate Despair, limply hanging. The red fingernail polish was still intact and the bandages covering the stitching were loose and yellowing.

_I will fix you, Nagito Komaeda,_ he thought to himself. _You’ve suffered enough._ Without meaning to, he held on to him a little tighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I'm a sucker for some good ol' Komahina.


	24. Break

"(Y/N)?" the familiar voice called. She could see the light attempting to break through her closed eyelids. Her eyes fluttered open to see a pair of heterochromatic eyes staring down at her, filled with concern. She still felt disoriented, but less so than the last time she remembered waking up in the same pod. If she was awake, did that mean everything was a success? Or a failure...?

"Izuru!" she tried to sound energetic, but her voice was groggy and hardly louder than a whisper.

"(Y/N), don't strain yourself. How are you feeling?" He asked calmly.

"Stiff, but fine. Surprisingly kind of tired after being asleep for so long." she flashed him a weak smile, but it seemed to be convincing enough.

"Let's get you out of there." He extended a hand to her. She had enough strength to stand upright, although still a little wobbly. Before he could let go of her hand, she quickly pulled him into an embrace.

"Izuru...you knew the whole time. Why didn't you tell me?"

"About you and Nagito? I wanted you to remember for yourself. It's not my place to tell you who you love."

"He's okay, right? Can I see him?" She gave a slight nod towards the already empty pod.

"He's alive, but not in the best condition. I had to perform an emergency operation to fix his arm, so he's probably still sedated. You can see him if you'd like, but it's best if we let him rest for a while."

"What was wrong with his arm?" she looked at him inquisitively.

"During his time as a Remnant of Despair, he sawed off his own arm and replaced it with...someone else's." He seemed like he was hesitating at the explanation, but there was no point to keep it a secret anyways. His arm was missing, it was going to raise questions regardless. "It was done crudely and there was an infection, so I had to remove more than what was already gone. It'll take some time to heal, but he'll be alright."

"I want to see him." Her voice was firm.

"That's fine, but I will warn you, it might be difficult to see him in his current state."

\--

When they arrived at the hospital, (Y/N) was quick to realize that Izuru wasn't lying about what he said. Nagito looked so frail compared to how she remembered him. He was thin, and his eyes were plagued with dark circles underneath. His left arm was reduced to only a bandaged stump that sat limply beside him. He was completely asleep, but he didn't look like he was resting peacefully. It pained her to see him like this, but she didn't want to look away. All the recent times she remembered seeing him were in the Neo World Program. She couldn't remember the last time she saw him in the flesh like this. Without realizing, a few tears escaped her eyes.

"He'll be asleep for a while, but you should be here when he wakes up." Izuru told her.

"You should get some rest. You've been working so hard."

"I can't sleep yet while there's a chance he wakes up soon, but I wouldn't mind a coffee break."

"Deal." She smiled at him.

"I'll go get a pot started. Meet you in the hospital lobby." He said before exiting the room.

(Y/N) sat down on the edge of the bed, careful not to jostle Nagito too much. She placed her hand on top of his only remaining one for a moment. It was startling how cold he felt. She pulled the blanket up to his neck, making sure every part of his body was covered. Brushing his hair out of the way, she gently planted a kiss on his forehead before heading down to the lobby.

Izuru was already there waiting, seated on one of the couches in the waiting area. There were two cups of coffee waiting on the table, quickly filling the air with their strong aroma. (Y/N) didn't hesitate to take a seat next to him, folding one leg across the cushion and grabbing her cup. It was made just the way she liked it; Izuru knew her coffee preferences by now.

"I put a couple ice cubes in yours so you didn't burn your tongue again." he explained. Maybe he knew them a little too well.

"Thanks." she replied gratefully before taking a sip. It was the perfect temperature. "Thanks for everything, actually." she continued. "I really haven't had a chance to say it. You're really living up to that "Ultimate Hope" title, y'know." She tried to be lighthearted, but her gratitude was sincere.

"I'm just doing what anyone would have done with my abilities. It should be expected of me." he said matter-of-factly.

"Hey...can I ask you something?" she changed the subject.

"Go on."

"Let's say hypothetically if there was nothing between me and Nagito, would you have still tried so hard to wake him up?" she asked curiously.

"Yes. But I don't think I would have been successful. He's alive because of you." (Y/N) didn't know how to respond, so she took another sip instead. The warm liquid was relaxing as it trickled down her throat. Silence wasn't awkward between them, so she didn't feel pressured to keep the conversation going. Even during her time in the Neo World Program, Hajime wasn't much of a talker, but his presence was always comforting to her. Even now, she still felt the same.

When they were both finished with their coffee, Izuru rested his head on her shoulders for a moment. (Y/N) didn't mind. After a while, his breathing became more drawn out and heavy. Not quite a snore, but enough that she could tell he had dozed off. She didn't have the heart to wake him up, so she tried her best to hold still. More time passed and Izuru showed no sign of waking up anytime soon, so (Y/N) gently moved his head off her shoulder and onto her lap. It was more comfortable for her, even though Izuru might be embarrassed when he woke up. His long mane of hair was sprawled across her lap and she suddenly had an urge to play with it a bit. Carefully, she ran her fingers through the long strands, trying her best not to disturb his slumber.

(Y/N) realized how tired Izuru must be to let himself sleep in such a vulnerable position. Or maybe it showed just how comfortable he felt around her now. She decided it was probably a combination of both, but that didn't lessen the fact that he was seriously exhausted. He'd been busy almost immediately after waking up from the virtual world, working nonstop to restore their classmates. Due to the complexity of the task, there was very little anyone could do to assist him, so he spent most of his time alone in the lab. (Y/N) suddenly felt guilty for not trying to do more to help him sooner. Her company might have taken some of the burden off his shoulders, if only for a moment. At least she could have convinced him to take a break every now and then.

He looked so peaceful while he was sleeping. His usually stoic demeanor was washed away and replaced with a gentler expression. (Y/N) almost forgot that he was still barely older than a teenager, just like her and the rest of their classmates. She continued playing with his hair, now letting her fingers brush along his scalp before gently tugging the strands downwards. He seemed to relax under her touch, even while asleep. Without thinking, she moved her hands higher than usual and accidentally touched what felt like a long welt along the back of his head. She inhaled sharply, caught off guard by the discovery. It was the scar from the Kamukura Project. Immediately, she felt guilty, like she had touched something she wasn't meant to. Her reaction must have startled Izuru, because he started shifting around and groaning.

"(Y/N)?" he squinted at her with one eye still closed, which happened to be the red one. All she could see was the goldish-green iris looking up at her.

"Sorry, you fell asleep on my shoulder and this was more comfortable and—" she stopped in the middle of her sentence, realizing her fingertips were still touching the scar on his head. "I didn't mean to..." she pulled her hand away quickly. 

"It's okay. I don't mind. It's not anything you didn't already know about." he said softly. Both of his eyes were open now and his red eye felt more piercing than usual.

"Do you...do you regret it?" she almost whispered.

"Every single day." He lifted himself off her lap, moving back to his upright position next to her on the couch. "Which is why I will do everything I can to make things right again."

"But you've already done so much. You saved all of them, Izuru. Our classmates are alive because of you. Don't you realize that?"

"There was one person I couldn't save." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the familiar hairclip and held it in his palm.

"Chiaki..." (Y/N) breathed.

"I lost the memories of her when I became Izuru Kamukura. But even still, when I think about her, I feel an urge to cry. I know she was special to me back when I was only a simple reserve course student. But I can't remember why. I think that makes it hurt even more, not remembering what I don't remember. I'm sure you're familiar with the feeling."

"All too well..." she sighed. It was saddening to hear him talk like this, but she was happy he was opening up to her, even just a little bit. "But you still have memories of her from the program, right? It may not be much, but as long as you keep thinking about her, she'll be alive in your thoughts." He didn't respond. Instead, he reached out and carefully pulled a strand of hair away from (Y/N)'s face and used the spaceship-shaped hairclip to pin it back.

"There." he said softly. "I think Chiaki would like this."

"Izuru...I can't keep this. It's yours now, and I know it's important to you."

"It doesn't do much good in my pocket where I can't see it. Now, I'll see it any time I see you."

"T-Thank you..." she whispered, not knowing what else to say. She looked up to meet his eyes and for what felt like the first time, Izuru was smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Few things:
> 
> 1.) Just want to apologize for the lack of Nagito, but he needs some rest, okay?!  
> 
> 
> 2.) If you haven't noticed already, I'm choosing to keep Izuru/Hajime's long hair because when did he even get it cut?? He had long hair in the boat flashback and then he didn't when he woke up. Long hair, don't care. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> 
> 
> 3.)Thx 4 reading as always!


	25. Confused

Nagito would be waking up soon, so (Y/N) pulled up a chair next to his hospital bed, anxiously waiting. He was stirring more frequently, each time making her think he was about to awaken, only to fall right back into quiet snoring.

“Hey…” she whispered softly, curious to see if she would get any response out of him. His eyelids started to flutter at the sound of her voice. He turned his head to her direction, his eyes barely a squint.

“(Y/N) …you’re here.” His voice was shaky and barely audible.

“Yes, I’m here, Nagito. I’m here.” She repeated, trying her best to be reassuring. He tried to reach out to her, but there was no arm to reach with. His eyes shifted down to the bandaged remains of what used to be his left arm.

“Oh…” He seemed lost for words. His expression was hard to read. He didn’t seem startled by the realization his arm was missing, but he wasn’t particularly thrilled either.

“I’m sorry.” She didn’t want to bombard him with questions right away, so instead she chose to reach for his right hand. She cupped her hand around his fingers and delicately stroked the top of his hand with her thumb. He didn’t object, but he wasn’t returning the gesture either. It almost seemed like he was avoiding her gaze. Instead, he stared blankly at the wall in front of him as he spoke.

“You shouldn’t be here.” He said plainly.

“Why not?” she raised an eyebrow at him.

“Seeing me like this. Disgusting.”

“It’s okay. I don’t mind.” she gave him a small smile, hoping to lighten things up. It seemed to be working a little because she felt him squeeze her fingers.

“You shouldn’t be here, but I’m glad you are.” He finally looked at her. Even though he was smiling, his eyes looked so weary and lifeless. Unable to wait any longer, (Y/N) finally blurted out the question that was on her mind.

“Nagito…what do you remember?"

“I think I remember everything that happened in the Neo World Program, at least up until I died.” He spoke about his own death so casually, it made (Y/N) wince at the memory. “Then there’s a gap.”

“So, you remember…us?" she nervously whispered. He didn’t answer right away. He looked almost conflicted, like he wasn’t sure how to answer the question. It made her heart sink to the floor in anticipation of his answer. If he remembered everything in the program, of course he would remember their time together. But why was he taking so long to answer?

“Yes.” That was all he said. A single word that took he took so much time to come up with. She tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. He had just woken up and was probably heavily medicated. Maybe his memory was just difficult to retrieve.

“Okay.” she said, not knowing how else to respond. “I was just curious.”

“Did I upset you, (Y/N)?” he asked innocently. Was it that obvious to him?

“No, no! It’s nothing.” she was a little too defensive with her words, but she hoped he wouldn’t notice. “I just thought this conversation would go a little differently.”

“How so?”

“I…” She felt the tears welling up in her eyes already. She cursed herself for always crying so easily. “I’m just so happy to see you. But you don’t seem to be happy to see me.”

“(Y/N), don’t be ridiculous.” It almost sounded like he was scolding her. “There’s nobody I’d rather see than you. The fact that after everything I’ve put you through, you were still here at my side, waiting for me to wake up…I truly don’t deserve that.”

“Nagito—” before she could say anything, he continued.

“If you’d like, you can just forget about what happened between us in the program. You have a chance now to put it all behind you and start over with someone better than me. It would be so easy. Maybe if you’re lucky, everyone else has forgotten we were together and you wouldn’t even have to make up a reason why—”

“Nagito!” The loudness of her voice caught him off guard and he finally stopped talking. “What if I don’t want to forget? Then what happens?”

“You don’t have to forget.” He held up a hand defensively. “I just wanted you to know that you don’t have to feel obligated to be with me now that we’re not trapped on an island anymore.”

“You think you’re doing me a favor by saying all this, but all you’re doing is hurting me.” she said miserably, letting go of his hand. It took everything she had in her not to get up and leave, but she couldn’t just abandon him like he wanted. That would only prove his point.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N). he smiled at her sadly. “I always say the wrong things.”

“Let’s just…not say anything for a while.”

“Mmk.” he hummed. Shifting over in his bed a little, he eyeballed the sliver of empty space next to him. “Think there’s room?”

“Huh?” she said, not processing his meaning right away. “Oh, are you sure that’s a good idea? I don’t want to disturb your injury.” She nodded towards the bandages on his arm.

“How about the other side then?” he shifted over in the other direction, making a small space between him and the wall. She hesitated for a moment before leaving her chair to try climb over him.

“Sorry,” she muttered embarrassingly as she brushed her body against his, trying her best not to put any weight on him. He looked so fragile, like he was made of paper that would crumple at the slightest touch. Once she settled in next to him, all the worries she once had melted away. He wrapped his arm around her as she laid her head against his chest. It was a little bonier than she remembered, but comfortable all the same. She slid an arm underneath him and draped her other arm across his torso, pulling him close to her like a child would a stuffed animal. She weaved her legs between his, mostly because there wasn’t room to put them anywhere else, but also because it allowed her to be closer to him. It was surreal to think that this was no longer a virtual world. Nagito was here, lying next to her. She wanted to savor every second of it.

“Hey, (Y/N)?” his voice was right next to her ear, but it was still quiet.

“Mhm.” she mumbled, not wanting to open her eyes or exert any more energy than needed.

“Do you remember everything too? From the killing game?”

“I do now. When I first woke up from the program, I forgot almost everything that happened.’

“So, you forgot about us being together during that time?”

“I did.”

“That gap in my memory. After I died, the next time I woke up, I was at Hope’s Peak Academy. That’s when you re-entered the program to try and wake me up.”

“Yep.” she agreed.

“And you tried to make me fall in love with you, right?”

“That’s true.” She answered all his questions, but she was unsure of where he was going with all this.

“And you didn’t have your memories then either?”

“Nope. It wasn’t until we kissed for the first time that I suddenly remembered everything. I guess it triggered something in my brain.”

“I see.” His voice trailed off.

“Why?”

“You’ve made me fall in love with you two different times.” he laughed. “I guess I must really love you, huh?”

“I guess so.” She felt his arm tighten around her, so she snuggled closer.

“I’d do it a third time if I had to.”

“You confuse me, Nagito.” Her voice was muffled by his hospital gown that her face was pressed into. She was thankful he couldn’t see her face because she felt the heat flush to her cheeks.

“I do?” There was that innocent voice of his again.

“You can’t just say things like _that_ ,” she emphasized her words harshly, “and then turn around and tell me to leave you and that I deserve better. It’s so confusing.”

“Because I’m just as confused as you are, (Y/N). I can't tell if having you in my life is good luck or bad luck. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but also the worst thing. You fill my heart with hope, and also with despair. It all confuses me. And the most confusing part is…all of it just makes me love you more. Is this what love is supposed to feel like, (Y/N)?” His voice made it sound like he was about to unravel. Even though he was smiling, it looked like he could breakdown at any second.

“I-I don’t know. I think it is. It’s a scary thing to give so much of yourself to somebody, knowing they could leave you at any moment. Just the thought of it brings despair.” Her mind immediately flashed to the vision of Nagito tied up along the cement floor, a knife through his hand and a spear through his gut. The image was burned into her mind, probably never to be erased. "But, without that despair, you can't truly appreciate the hope that love brings."

“Don’t leave again, (Y/N) …please.” He pleaded. His voice was shaky and full of desperation.

“I never left. I’ve always been here.”

“When you jumped off that building…I…I know it wasn't real but...” he struggled to finish his sentence without choking up.

“I’ve watched you die before too, Nagito. I don’t think I can ever forget what I saw.” She couldn’t hold back anymore, as much as she tried. The sobs choked out of her relentlessly, each breath felt like a sharp pain in her chest trying to stab her from the inside. Her face was buried into his chest, which was the only thing keeping her from not totally losing her mind. It was a reminder that Nagito was alive.

Not only was he was alive, and also crying with her. She felt his body tremble underneath her, his face pressed into her hair. She could tell he was just as shaken up as she was. They had both felt the despair of losing each other. The lines between real and virtual worlds were blurred, and their memories were a jumbled mess. But it didn’t change the way she felt about him. Nothing about their relationship had ever been normal, but she hoped that with time, they could repair the frayed ends that were torn apart by despair. She wasn’t sure when the crying stopped, and the sleeping began, but she didn’t fight it when the waves of tiredness came washing over her.


	26. Clean

When (Y/N) woke up, she was still nestled next to Nagito in the tiny hospital bed. There was sunlight glowing behind the curtains, leading her to believe it was late morning. Her entire body felt stiff and her neck ached, but for the most part, she felt well-rested. It took her a second, but she realized there was a blanket draped over top of her that wasn't there when she fell asleep. Someone must have come in the room to check on them while they were sleeping, and she had a pretty good idea of who that could be. 

It was fairly easy to pry herself free of Nagito's grip, since he was only using one arm. Carefully, trying her best not to disturb him, she climbed out of bed. After stretching out her stiff muscles for a moment, she headed out in search of Izuru, who was probably lingering somewhere within the hospital. She could at least rule out that he was in his cottage resting, as much as she wished that were true. There was a clattering noise coming from the end of the hallway, so (Y/N) headed in that direction. The source was from what looked to be a small kitchen, possibly designed as a breakroom for hospital staff. Izuru was in there, busy preparing food.

"Good morning, (Y/N)." he said without looking up from what he was doing. She hadn't even crossed the doorway yet and he had acknowledged her presence. It made her wonder if Ultimate Hearing was included in his many talents.

"Hey, you." she replied to him. "Whatcha making?" 

"Breakfast for the three of us. It's almost ready."

"Thanks." He placed a small bowl on the table in front of where she was standing.

"I hope you're okay with egg rice. There aren't many ingredients to work with in this kitchen. And this one is for Nagito." He sat down another bowl that was just broth. "Would you mind bringing it to him? He may need some help eating it."

"Sure." She carefully picked up the two bowls, trying her best not to spill any of the contents. "Are you going to eat with us?"

"I don't want to impede." he said firmly.

"Please? I'm sure Nagito would enjoy company from someone other than me." 

"Alright." He quickly cleaned up the kitchen before grabbing his own food and heading out the door. They walked side by side towards the part of the hallway where the patient rooms were located. Once they turned the corner, they were met with a startling scene.

Nagito had left his hospital room and made it halfway down the patient wing. He was partially leaning on the wall for support, his legs shaking under his own weight. He looked like a sweaty, disheveled mess, struggling to hold himself up with one arm. His breaths became more and more labored and he looked ready to collapse at any moment. 

"Nagito!" (Y/N) helplessly called out to him. Before she could even think of reacting, Izuru was at Nagito's side in one swift movement, grabbing him under the arm and holding him upright with one hand, the other hand still perfectly balancing his breakfast. Not a single grain of rice was spilt. 

"Nagito, what are you doing?!" (Y/N) yelled. Her eyes were still wide at what she just witnessed. 

"(Y/N) ...you weren't...there...gone..." Nagito spoke between breaths. His voice was hysterical.

"I'm right here. C'mon you need to get back in bed." She quickly hurried and put the bowls she was holding down on a table inside the room and grabbed the one Izuru was holding as well. Once both his hands were free, he effortlessly picked Nagito up and carried him back into his bed. (Y/N) sat down on the edge of the bed once he was settled in, gently brushing his matted hair away from his forehead. After he finally caught his breath, he seemed to be calmed down enough to speak normally.

"You weren't here when I woke up, (Y/N)." His voice was still a little shaky, but she could understand him. "I had to find you. I had to." 

"I'm sorry for leaving. I just wanted to let you rest a little longer." she apologized softly. 

"I thought I only dreamed you were with me last night. I thought you were actually dead." He was frantic again. His eyes looked dull and muddled with despair. "I don't know what's real anymore, (Y/N)." It sounded like he didn't have enough air in his lungs to finish his sentence, so his voice sounded distant and hollow. 

"This is real. I'm real." She leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead. It seemed to calm him down enough for the time being, but she could still sense he was on edge. "Breakfast, now." She didn't phrase it as a question. He needed to eat. She grabbed the bowl of broth and held it onto his lap for him. 

"Can you eat this if I hold it for you?" He nodded in response and grabbed the spoon. It was painfully slow, but he managed to finish nearly the whole bowl. (Y/N) finally got a chance to eat her own breakfast, which was now cold. Izuru sat nearby doing the same. After a few moments, Nagito dozed off, so he took the chance to talk to (Y/N).

"We'll probably need to keep a close watch of Nagito for a while. It seems he's suffering from post-traumatic stress. He'll also need physical therapy to get his strength back." 

"I'll do anything I can to help. Just tell me what needs done." 

"For starters, he needs another dose of pain medication soon. I can get that ready for him. I'd also like to start working on a prosthetic arm for him. Hopefully Kazuichi can assist me with that." 

"What should I do then?" 

"If you are comfortable with it, he probably needs help bathing."

"Oh...I, uhh...." She avoided eye contact, hoping he didn't notice how red her face was.

"If not, I can do it. Or we could ask Mikan for help. She is a nurse, after all." 

"No, it's fine! I-I can do it." she squeaked. As much as the idea embarrassed her, she didn't want to just pass it off to someone else. 

"Thank you, (Y/N). I'll take these dishes back to the kitchen for you. I'll be back in an hour with his medicine, okay?" 

"Okay..." She tried to muster up a convincing smile but he could probably see right through it. He closed the door behind him as he left, giving them some privacy. 

"Hey, Nagito?" She lightly tapped his shoulder to wake him up from his after-breakfast nap. 

"Hmm?" He mumbled sleepily. "Sorry, I'm so tired, (Y/N). It's rude of me to fall asleep." He sounded so cute when he was apologizing, but she quickly shook away the thought to focus on the task at hand. 

"Hey, you probably want to get cleaned up right?" She said nervously, hoping it wasn't too obvious. "Do you want me to help you take a bath?"

"Are you just saying that because you want to see me naked?" he said, completely seriously.

"No, I... That's not--" she stammered.

"I'm only teasing you, (Y/N)." He smiled. "Yes, a bath sounds lovely." 

"G-Great... I'll go get the water started." she turned quickly towards the bathroom, hoping he didn't see her flushed face. She let out a deep breath as she watched the water fill up a little too fast for her liking. There was no getting out of this now. 

"Okay, it's ready." She extended an arm out to him, carefully helping him to his feet. It was easy to support most of his weight. He grabbed tightly onto her wrist, doing his best to stabilize himself as they walked side by side. 

"Can I brush my teeth first?" He blurted out. It was hard to tell, but (Y/N) almost thought he sounded nervous. Maybe he was stalling? 

"Yeah, let me see if there's a toothbrush in here..." She led him over to the sink, which he leaned on for support while she dug through the medicine cabinet. "Ah, here's one still in the package." She stood close to him, letting him lean onto her while he brushed. At one point, they made eye contact through the mirror, causing her to quickly avert her eyes towards the ground. 

Once he was done, she helped him over to the bathtub where they both stood in silence, unsure of what to do next. She decided to bite the bullet and speak up first.

"Are you ready then?" She smiled weakly at him. There was no point in trying to disguise her blushing anymore. 

"Yep." His face was also dusted with a light pink color. It actually helped to ease her nerves a bit to see he was feeling similar. Without saying another word, she reached behind him and started undoing the strings of his hospital gown. He leaned his body against her and rested his head on her shoulder for support. Her fingers fumbled with the string as she tried her best to keep focused, but his sudden closeness was intoxicating. He caught her off guard by leaving a trail of soft kisses along the side of her neck, sending shivers along her whole body. 

After she finally untied the strings, she lifted her fingers up to the neckline and carefully slid the fabric down, brushing her fingertips along his collarbone. The gown slipped easily off his shoulders and dropped down to the floor, leaving him completely exposed. His skin was pale, almost like a porcelain doll. His ribs were protruding more than usual, but he still looked soft to the touch. It took everything in her power to keep her eyes looking upward. 

"Here." She draped his arm over her shoulder and steadied him while he lifted one foot into the tub, followed by the other. Once he was fully submerged under the bubbles, they both exhaled at the same time. "It's not too hot, is it?" 

"It's perfect." He said, closing his eyes and sinking down to his chin in the water. 

"It's been a while since you had one of these, eh?" She giggled. "Bet it feels nice." 

"Mhm." He agreed, keeping his mouth closed to not let in any water. He leaned his head back and let his hair get wet. 

"Let me help." She reached over for a bottle of shampoo and squeezed some onto her hands and began to massage it into his hair. He immediately closed his eyes and let himself relax into her touch. There was even a trace of a smile on his lips. It was a beautiful sight, seeing him look so content. All the embarrassment had faded away and they were finally able to enjoy the intimacy of the moment. 

"Thank you, (Y/N)." He breathed. 

"It's nothing." She quietly replied. After his hair was rinsed out, they stayed silent for a while. He seemed to be enjoying just soaking in the warm water, so she didn't rush him. 

"I'm going to go grab you a towel and a new gown from the laundry room. I'll be right back." She told him. She wanted to give him some privacy to finish cleaning himself, so she found an excuse to step out for a second. He nodded in agreement. She started to stand up but he grabbed onto her wrist with his wet hand, keeping her in place.

"Wait, before you go..." He pulled her down towards him and kissed her on the lips. She still could taste the minty flavor of toothpaste on his breath. It happened so fast that she didn't get the chance to kiss him back properly, so she decided to lean in for another. He happily obliged, this time kissing her for a little longer. His lips felt cool and wet against hers, making her wish it could last longer, but she resisted the urge and pulled away. 

"I love you, (Y/N)." He said sweetly, looking her in the eyes. Their faces were still close and his nose was almost touching hers. 

"I love you too, Nagito." She smiled at him once more before taking her leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy, I really felt the secondhand embarassment writing this chapter.


	27. Picture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of this chapter was inspired by [ this image](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/8b/c0/a1/8bc0a1676548ea2be4645929fe13305b.jpg). I'm not sure the original source, but I believe Kuri-S is the artist. Here is their [ tumblr](https://kuri-s.tumblr.com/), go check it out!

After (Y/N) returned with fresh laundry, she helped Nagito get dressed and returned him to his bed. She was sitting behind him, helping him towel dry his hair when they heard a quiet knock on the door.

"Come in!" she yelled out, towel still in hand. Izuru walked in, carrying a small orange bottle and a glass of water.

"Here. Please take this." He walked towards Nagito and handed him a small white pill. Nagito didn't argue and swallowed it down in one gulp of water. "How are you feeling?"

"It hurts, if I'm being honest. But you don't need to worry about me." He said with a weak smile. He closed his eyes again, leaning back into (Y/N) and letting her continue drying him off.

"This medicine will help. There may be side effects, so let me know right away if you experience any."

"Thank you, Hajime." He nodded. It sounded strange to (Y/N) to hear him call Izuru by that name. For some reason, he always seemed so different than the Hajime she remembered. But maybe he wasn't so different anymore. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted the outline of Chiaki's hairclip in her hair.

"H-Hajime." she said out loud without meaning to. It would be hard to get used to, but the name rolled off her tongue with a certain familiarity.

"Yes?" He looked at her. His golden-green eye peeked out at her behind a stray lock of hair that fell in front of his face. His expression was soft, but attentive as he waited for her to answer.

"Uhh, never mind...sorry." She let her voice trail off. Her face was slightly flushed with embarassment. He seemed to have noticed, because his own face looked a little red too.

"Do you need anything? If not, I'm going to go to the headquarter building and work on some things for a while."

"Go ahead. I'll come get you if we need help." She smiled at him reassuringly.

"Alright. I'll be back later." he said before taking his leave.

"I think you're all dry now." (Y/N) said to Nagito, setting the towel aside. She was still seated behind him, her legs on either side. He seemed content with their current position, so she decided to wrap her arms gently around his shoulders and hold him close to her for a while.

\--

They spent most of their afternoon lazing around, not speaking too much. The pain medicine kicked in and Nagito was tired so he napped off and on while (Y/N) tried her best to stay occupied. Although, she was guilty of nodding off a few times herself. Eventually, Hajime returned to the hospital as promised.

"Everything okay?" He asked from the doorway.

"Yep." She didn't have much else to say.

"I was going to start dinner now. Are you hungry?"

"A little. Do you need any help?" She offered.

"It wouldn't hurt."

"Nagito, is it okay if I go help make dinner for a bit?" Her voice was purposefully gentle. "I won't be gone long."

"Okay." He mumbled sleepily. He leaned his head towards her, very slightly, but she understood the meaning of the gesture. She kissed him very quickly, not wanting to make Hajime uncomfortable.

"I'll be back." she said one more time before leaving.

Once they got to the kitchen, Hajime immediately went to work, pulling out all the necessary ingredients to cook with.

"What do you need me to do?" she asked him.

"Can you cut these?" he gestured towards some vegetables in a small basket on the counter. She nodded. He stood over the stove and started preparing the other half of the meal while she mindlessly chopped away at the veggies. She couldn't help but notice he seemed to be constantly brushing his hair away from his face as he was cooking. There was sweat on his brow from the heat of the stove and his long hair didn't seem to be helping.

"Here." She walked up behind him and combed back his hair with her fingers, collecting all of it in her hands and carefully twisting it into a messy bun on top of his head. Holding it together with one hand, she reached over with the other and grabbed a chopstick and stabbed it through the bun to keep it in place. "That better?"

"I feel ridiculous." He turned to face her, a slight blush forming over his cheeks. It was a rare sight to see him flustered, but she enjoyed it every time.

"So pretty!" she couldn't help but giggle a little.

"I was thinking of cutting it, honestly."

"What, no! You should at least let me play with it a bit more before you do!" she pleaded.

"Maybe." he sighed. "I feel like I'm not getting out of this one no matter what." She smiled devilishly in response and continued chopping without saying another word.

"Hey, (Y/N)?" He broke the silence after a few minutes.

"Hmm?"

"You called me Hajime earlier." he said softly.

"Oh, yeah. Is that okay?"

"I told you to call me whatever you like. I was just curious as to why the sudden change."

"Well, when Nagito called you Hajime, it made me think about it, I guess. You seem a lot more like the Hajime I remember from the Neo World Program. I wanted to try it out."

"I see..."

"I know you said I could call you by either name, but what do _you_ prefer?"

"Everybody wants me to be Hajime, so I suppose I should choose that."

"You don't have to be Hajime or Izuru. You just have to be you. Sure, you'll have to pick what you want to be called, but that's just a name. It's not who you are. Trying to force you to be one or the other isn't right. You're so much more than that."

"I-I want to be called Hajime." he said so quietly that she almost didn't hear him.

"Okay, Hajime." she smiled.

\--

After they finished cooking, they headed back to Nagito's room to eat together.

"Hey." Nagito greeted them as they walked in. "I like the hair, Hajime." He smiled. Hajime scrambled to pull out the chopstick, letting his hair fall back down to its normal style.

"I forgot it was still like that." he groaned.

"He said he's going to cut it!" (Y/N) said to Nagito. "Can you believe that?"

"But he has such nice hair! Although it looks good short too. He's at least going to let you play with it before he cuts it, right?"

"Ugh, are you guys in on this together or something?!" Hajime sighed. (Y/N) and Nagito couldn't help but laugh.

"So that's a yes?" Nagito smiled.

"Just eat your dinner and stop talking about my hair." They decided to oblige and drop the subject for now.

\--

"There." (Y/N) said proudly. "How's that look?" She was seated on the bed next to Nagito while Hajime was seated on the floor below, his legs folded with his back facing her.

"Hmm, I think I liked the last one better." Nagito decided.

"What do you think, Hajime?" (Y/N) held up the small mirror in front of him. There were several small braids on each side of his head, pulled back into a half-ponytail.

"I think... I can't wait to get a haircut." He tried to sound annoyed but it sounded more like he was holding back laughter.

"Okay, next one!" (Y/N) chirped cheerfully. Hajime shook his head disapprovingly, looking downwards to hide the smile on his face.

\-- 

It was getting late and (Y/N) was running out of hairstyles to keep trying out on Hajime. Nagito had fell asleep after taking another dose of pain medicine, so they stayed quiet as not to disturb him.

"You should sleep in your own bed tonight. I can stay here and watch him." Hajime offered.

"But what about you? When will you sleep?"

"Whenever you wake up, you can come take over for me. I'll be fine. You need a break."

"Only if you promise to finally rest. For more than a few hours."

"I promise."

"Okay. I'll come first thing in the morning. And I'm bringing you breakfast."

"Deal."

"Good night, Hajime." She said, pulling him in for a quick goodbye hug.

"Good night, (Y/N)."

\--

Hajime was seated in a chair in the corner of the hospital room. Nagito's light snoring was the only sound he could hear. It was quiet and dark, so he crossed his arms and leaned his head back against the chair to rest his eyes for a moment. It wasn't long before he drifted into a light, uncomfortable sleep.

That sleep didn't last. He was awoken abruptly by a loud scream that jolted him up out of his chair. Nagito was thrashing around in his bed, screaming and gasping for air. Hajime rushed over to him, pinning him down by his shoulders in an attempt to keep him still.

"Nagito! What's wrong?"

"Can't...breathe...poi...son..." he choked.

"There's no poison. You can breathe. Just breathe, please." Hajime begged him. He tried his best to sound calm. Nagito's breathing became slower and deeper as he started to catch his breath. He was covered in sweat and his eyes were watering.

"You." Nagito said after he finally calmed down. "You're the one they've been hiding."

"What? What are you talking about."

"Izuru Kamukura. You're working with _her_." he spat. "The Ultimate Despair."

"No, that's wrong. I'm Hajime Hinata."

"The arm! Where is it?!" Nagito was starting to freak out again. "She's dead! I'm dead. Everyone is dead!" He was yelling now and his eyes were glazed over. "Dead, dead, dead, dead—"

"Nagito! Snap out of it. You're dreaming." Hajime shook him gently. "You're right, the Ultimate Despair is dead, but you're alive." Something he did seemed to work because Nagito finally relaxed, almost instantly.

"Hajime?" he whispered, still out of breath.

"Yes, I'm right here."

"What are you doing here?"

"You were having a nightmare."

"Where's (Y/N)?"

"Sleeping in her room. It's just me here."

"Oh...okay." His voice sounded a little disappointed, but also understanding. "And you'll stay here?"

"Yes. All night."

"Okay. Don't go, please." He begged.

"I won't."

"Okay." He whispered softly again, reaching out towards Hajime's direction. Hajime grabbed Nagito's hand and held it with both of his own for a second before lacing their fingers together. Nagito closed his eyes. His breathing was still a little uneven, but he was relaxed enough to fall back asleep now. Hajime stayed by his side the rest of the night.

\--

After (Y/N) woke up, she made her way to the restaurant to grab breakfast as promised. It was still fairly early, so not too many of her classmates were up yet. There were a few people in the restaurant already. Mahiru, Kazuichi, Fuyuhiko, and Peko were all sitting at a table together.

"(Y/N)!" Kazuichi called out to her. "Come sit."

"Yeah, we hardly see you anymore. How are things?" Mahiru asked.

"Hey guys. I was actually just grabbing breakfast to bring to the hospital, so I can't stay long."

"How's that crazy bastard doing?" Fuyuhiko chimed in, referring to Nagito.

"Better. He's slowly getting his energy back." (Y/N) answered. "Hajime has been watching over him all night, so it's my turn to take over."

"If you need any assistance, don't hesitate to ask us. We'd be happy to take turns watching over him as well." Peko offered.

"Thank you. I'll let you know if we need anything."

"Hey, check this out." Kazuichi pulled out a piece of paper from his jumpsuit pocket and and rolled it out on the table. "We've been designing this awesome mechanical arm for Nagito." (Y/N) walked closer to take a look. The overall design looked impressive, but there were a lot of scribbled out areas all over the page.

"Hajime said I couldn't add in the flamethrower fingertips," he pointed to one of the scribbled out spots. "but he said the snack compartment was okay." She raised an eyebrow at him, but she couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm.

"This looks amazing, Kazuichi. I'm sure he's going to love it." (Y/N) smiled.

"Do you need some help carrying that food over, (Y/N)? I'm done eating now." Mahiru asked.

"Actually, yeah. That would be helpful."

They finished gathering up a couple plates of food and made their way over to the third island. (Y/N) wasn't sure what Hajime would want Nagito to eat, so she grabbed a variety of things to chose from. 

When they finally got to the hospital, the door to Nagito's room was cracked open slightly, so (Y/N) pushed it open slowly to avoid surprising them. Hajime was seated on the chair next to the bed, his head resting on his own arm that was folded across the side of the bed next to Nagito. Their hands were intertwined and they were both sound asleep.

"Oh my gosh, this is the cutest thing I've ever seen." (Y/N) squealed as quietly as possible.

"Here, I got this." Mahiru said, her voice full of determination. She carefully sat down the plate of food she was carrying and pulled out the camera hanging around her neck and snapped a picture of the two boys. "I'll print this for you later."

"They're going to hate me for letting you do this." (Y/N) giggled.

"Yeah, right. Like either of them could hate you. They're too in love with you for that." Mahiru teased.

"Well, you mean Nagito is, but—"

"I meant what I said."

"Oh." (Y/N) was left unsure how to respond. Was it really true that Hajime was in love with her too? She reached up and brushed her fingers along the hairclip. She hadn't taken it off since he gave it to her.

"C'mon, let's wake up these sleeping beauties." Mahiru interrupted her thoughts, which she was thankful for. It was sad to wake them up from their cute sleeping positions, but at least she would get a copy of that picture to remember it by. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you in advance for 1000 hits! I am overwhelmed by all of your wonderful comments. Your love and support really makes this enjoyable for me to write! Thanks for sticking with me and this story :)


	28. Release

The road to recovery was a long one, but things were moving forward quite smoothly. Nagito was gaining his strength back to the point where he was able to walk around on his own. His stamina drained quickly, but each day showed more progress. He wasn’t nearly as thin and sickly-looking as before, and some of the color was starting to return to his skin. The only thing really hindering the progress was the nightmares he kept having.

Nightmares were a common occurrence for nearly all the students after waking up from the Neo World Program. All the trauma and death they experienced manifested itself in the form of hyper-realistic nightmares. For some, they went away after only a few nights. Others, never stopped experiencing them, but instead just became numb to them. Everyone was different, but Nagito seemed to be the most affected by them.

“Hey, (Y/N).” a voice spoke from the hospital room doorway. (Y/N) turned her head to face the source of the words.

“Hajime.” she nodded towards him.

“Did he have another nightmare?” his gaze darted over to Nagito who was calmly asleep on the hospital bed. He slowly made his way closer to where (Y/N) was sitting, keeping his footsteps light as not to disturb the slumbering patient.

“Yeah, he did.” (Y/N) replied, almost whispering. Hajime looked at her apologetically, but he raised his eyebrows at her when he caught sight of her arm. There was a light purple bruise starting to form, almost in the shape of a hand that had been tightly gripped around it.

“He hurt you last night.” Hajime didn’t bother phrasing it as a question.

“It wasn’t on purpose! It barely even hurts. He’s just not used to his new arm, that’s all.” She defended. As much as she hated to admit it, it wasn’t the first time she’d been hurt by Nagito since he got his mechanical arm. When he first put it on, he was a little too eager to hold her hand and subsequently squeezed all her fingers together so tightly she was sure he broke every single one of them. Luckily, there was no lasting damage, but she could tell Nagito was angry at himself for causing her pain. In fact, she made a note to pick up something long-sleeved from her cottage before he could see the bruising on her arm. There was no need for him to feel guilty about something that happened while he was asleep. He had enough on his mind.

“I don’t mind staying with him at night. You shouldn’t have to subject yourself to physical harm.” he offered.

“So, only you’re allowed to subject yourself to it? I can handle it, Hajime. I’m not as fragile as you think.” her words seemed to cut through him, judging by his reaction. He flinched slightly, avoiding her unwavering gaze.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N). I know you love him and you want to be there for him. I just worry about your wellbeing. Mentally and physically.” He eyed the bruise on her arm once more.

“And I worry about you too, okay?” she reached out and placed her hand on the small of his back, which was as far as she could reach without standing up also. “Just let me stay with him. Please, I have to.”

“Okay.” he gave in. “But I think it would be better if we relocated him. I don’t think he needs to be hospitalized anymore.”

“Really? That’s great news!” (Y/N) beamed. “We should start preparing his cottage right away.” Unlike in the Neo World Program, the cottages were unused for so long that they needed a lot of work before being inhabited.

“Well, actually…” he hesitated for a moment. “I was thinking it would be best if he just stayed in your cottage. That way, he wouldn’t be alone at night.”

“Oh…right.” she felt her face heat up. Nagito had stayed in her cottage before when they were in the program, but as far as she knew, nobody else was aware of that fact. They kept it hidden to avoid any judgement. It was embarrassing to think that everyone would now openly know if they were living together. The embarrassment was quickly replaced with excitement. Nagito would be leaving the hospital. And if he agreed, they would be staying together. The thought of having some normalcy in their relationship was exhilarating. Without death and despair looming over them constantly, maybe they could finally get a chance to get to learn more about each other. (Y/N) realized there was still so much she wanted to know about the boy she loved so unconditionally.

“I can stay here with him if you want to go back to your cottage and get things ready. I’ll break the news to him when he wakes up.” Hajime smiled at her.

“Alright, thank you!” she stood up from her chair and reached up to brush some rogue strands of hair out of Hajime’s face. “What happened to cutting your hair, by the way?” she teased him.

“Oh, yeah. Maybe today’s the day.” he smiled at her gently. “Now, hurry and go clean up.”

\--

“Here we are.” (Y/N) said, fumbling through her pocket for her key. Nagito stood right behind her, resting both his hands on her shoulders. Once she got the door unlocked and opened, she flipped on the light, revealing her freshly tidied cottage.

“It looks just like cottages in the program, minus the security camera and monitor.” he pointed out.

“Thank goodness for that.” she groaned. “It’s not much, but I’m sure it’s better than a hospital.” Nagito slowly moved his hands forward from her shoulders and wrapped his arms around her, leaning his head on her shoulder as he held her close from behind. His face was close to her ear and she felt his breath tickle against her neck as he spoke.

“I’m so happy to finally be alone with you, (Y/N).” he purred. His voice was soft and low, sending a shiver through her body as his whisper caressed her eardrums. “In our own love nest.”

“I’m happy too.” She closed her eyes and tried her best to savor the moment, resting her own hands on top of his that were still clasped tightly across her chest. Leaning back into his embrace, she let out a long exhale. They were finally home, or at least the closest thing to a home they would have for a while. After a while, they finally separated, deciding to at least move further than just a few steps past the doorway.

“So, what do you want to do with your newfound freedom?” she asked him after taking a seat on the edge of the bed. He didn’t answer right away, but instead started poking around the room, making note of where everything was.

“I’m not sure.” he mused for a second. “Anything is fine as long as it’s with you.”

“Is it bad that all I really want to do right now is lie down?” she admitted. “I didn’t really sleep at all last night.”

“That’s my fault, isn’t it?” his voice was suddenly quiet. “You were at the hospital all night.”

“It was my choice.” she said through a yawn, arms outstretched. Giving in, she let herself lie down on the bed. She scooted herself close to the wall, leaving plenty of room on the bed for another body. “Will you at least hold me until I fall asleep?” she asked sleepily.

“Of course, (Y/N).” he made his way over to the bed and filled the empty space next to her. He outstretched his arm, gesturing for her to use him as a pillow.

“Hey, Nagito?” she mumbled into his shirt, sounding barely awake.

“Hmm?” he hummed in response.

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Are you really asking me this right now?” he chuckled.

“Mhm. I want to know everything about you. We never had time to talk about the pointless stuff like this.”

“It’s green.”

“Like your eyes.” she nestled closer. “Pretty.”

“Go to sleep, (Y/N).” His tone sounded serious, but she could hear him fight back a smile.

“Okay…” She wasn’t in a place to argue. Her eyelids felt heavier by the second, but she managed to say one more thing before drifting to sleep. “Mine is (F/C).”

\--

Taking naps had always left (Y/N) feeling groggy. Her sense of time was completely disoriented, but she trusted the clock to tell her the truth. It was almost four in the afternoon, which meant she had slept for nearly five hours. She stretched her arms across the empty bed, letting herself regain feeling to her sleepy limbs. _Empty bed_ , she thought. _Nagito is gone._ Without thinking, she jumped upright in a panic, her eyes frantically searching the room for any traces of his existence.

“(Y/N)? Are you awake now?” she heard his voice call out from behind the bathroom door. “I’m almost done.” She audibly relaxed at the realization he was still here with her. After a minute, the bathroom door opened, letting out a cloud of steam. Nagito stood in the doorway, clad only in his checkered boxer shorts, drying off his hair with a towel.

“Sorry, I tried to be done before you woke up. Also, I realized I don’t have any clothes here…” his voice trailed off.

“Oh, shoot, I knew I forgot something when I was preparing this place earlier.” she laughed nervously. “We’ll have to get you some clothes out from the market. Nobody had any personal belongings brought to the island other than what was on them at the time, so we’ve just been using what’s already here.”

“Should I just go out like this then? I don’t think anyone would want to see that.” he teased. Although this wasn’t the first time she’d seen him exposed like this, she couldn’t help but stare in awe.

“You look good, Nagito.” she reassured him. Even though she knew what he said wasn’t serious, she didn’t want to pass up an opportunity to boost his confidence. Instantly, his face was flooded with a warm pink color and (Y/N) couldn’t help but give her biggest smile. A flustered, fresh-out-of-the-shower, shirtless Nagito was a sight she never wanted to forget.

“If you say so…” he looked down at the floor to avoid her eyes, which somehow made him look even more adorable.

“I probably have a shirt that would fit you.” She got up to start rummaging through her closet. “Here, try this.” She tossed him the shirt and he slid it on, revealing a gaudy “I love Jabberwock Island” logo on the t-shirt. It was a little loose on his thin frame, but it fit him well enough to go out in public. After he finished getting the rest of the way dressed, they made their way over to the restaurant to meet with everyone for dinner.

Once they arrived, they were warmly greeted by their classmates who were already settled in at the tables. (Y/N) quickly scanned the room and didn’t find a single missing face. Everyone was at the restaurant at the same time and she wondered how long it’s been since that was even a possibility.

“We should move the tables around, so we can all sit together!” Sonia suggested excitedly. With some quick rearranging, they had positioned some of the restaurant tables into one long table in the center of the room. Although the idea seemed unnecessary at first, once their separate conversations merged into one, it really felt like they were eating dinner as a family. A big, unconventional family. For a moment, it almost didn’t seem like everyone had just survived one of the biggest tragedies in the history of humanity. They just seemed like normal 20-something-year-olds eating dinner, making jokes, laughing, and smiling. Even though they all heard stories about the state of the current world, here on their island, they could hide from that reality for just a little bit longer.

“Since we’re all finally awake and out of the hospital, we should do something together to celebrate.” Mahiru said after mostly everyone was finished eating.

“Yeah, it can be a thank-you party for Hajime for waking us all up!” Kazuichi excitedly patted Hajime on the back, who was sitting next to him. All the other students chattered in agreement to the idea.

“If you insist on throwing a party, don’t do it for me.” Hajime almost looked embarrassed, but there was a slight smile on his face. “Actually…” he paused for a moment, “I’d like to do something in memory of Chiaki…” his voice quietly trailed off. He looked down at his nearly empty plate of food and poked at it with his fork, seemingly as a distraction from everyone’s eyes on him.

“That’s a great idea, Hajime.” Sonia chimed in. Everyone else started talking over each other with their own ideas for the party.

“We could light off fireworks!”

“I think I’ve seen some at the market.”

“I’ll cook the food, of course!”

“Ibuki can sing a song for Chiaki!”

“No, please! My ears haven’t recovered from the last time…”

“Maybe (Y/N) can write a song instead. That is her talent, after all.”

“Yeah, that would be so cool! Whaddaya say, (Y/N)?” (Y/N) snapped back to reality at the sound of her name.

“What? Oh, yeah I guess I could do that.” she said nervously. Obviously, she was capable of writing a song, but did that mean she had to perform it too? She felt a hand gently rub the top of her knee under the table.

“I’m sure you’ll do fine, (Y/N).” Nagito said quietly enough that only she could hear it. His touch was reassuring, but she still felt uncertain of the whole idea.

“So, it’s settled then.” Sonia held her arm up in determination. “We will have a memorial party for Chiaki tomorrow night with food, fireworks, and music!”

After a bit more chatter about tomorrow’s events, eventually everyone started clearing out of the restaurant to retire for the night. Eventually, only (Y/N), Nagito, and Hajime were left at the table. Nagito and (Y/N) arrived late, so it made sense for them to still be there, but Hajime seemed to be purposefully staying behind to wait for them.

“Hey, uhh…would you guys come back to my cottage with me? I need help with something…” Hajime finally spoke after a quiet few minutes. (Y/N) and Nagito both nodded in agreement without asking any questions. After putting the tables back where they belonged and cleaning up their dinner plates, they all headed out. Once they got there, Hajime wordlessly led them over to his bathroom and grabbed a pair of scissors that were already laying on the edge of the sink.

“Can you help me cut it?” It almost sounded like his voice was trembling for a second. “I tried to do it myself earlier, but I just couldn’t…”

“I didn’t know you were so attached to it, Hajime.” Nagito pointed out.

“I should be happy to get rid of it. It’s a reminder of the horrible things I've done. It’s a reminder that I’m no longer the Hajime I used to be before I underwent the procedure. But for some reason, I just can't bring myself to do it. 

“We’ll help you, don’t worry.” (Y/N) stood behind him and started finger-combing his hair into a ponytail. She grabbed a hair tie off her wrist and tied it around his hair before reaching for the scissors. Nagito stood closer to the two of them, his shoulder brushing against Hajime’s.

“You’re not Izuru Kamukura anymore.” (Y/N) told him. “But you’re not Hajime Hinata either.” She saw his multicolored eyes widen in the reflection of the mirror in front of him. “What you are is a person who cares deeply about all of his friends. You’re a person who has done the unthinkable and brought back nine people from the edge of death. You’ve given everything to all of us at the cost of yourself.” She paused for moment, her hands shakily holding the scissors open.

“You don’t have to try so hard anymore, Hajime…” before she fully finished her sentence, she closed the scissors around his hair and with one snip, the long, ankle-length ponytail of hair fell to the floor. The remainder of his hair fell loosely around his shoulders. Unable to hold it in any longer, tears fell down his cheeks, turning into quiet sobs. His knees buckled underneath him, but Nagito and (Y/N) caught him before he could hit the ground too hard. She wrapped her arms around his torso from behind, while Nagito knelt by his side and draped his arms over his shoulders. Without saying another word, they let him cry until he couldn’t cry anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update. I hope it was worth the wait! Thanks for reading as always :)


	29. Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I chose [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuDzZvMs7wU%22) to be Chiaki's song. But [this one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNj5DHJzK8I) was a close second choice because you can't have piano and violin without YLIA! And if you like violin & anime combined, check out this guy's vids. Enjoy!

"Hajime, what do you think of this?" she handed over the notebook to the newly short-haired boy sitting on the floor below her. She was still in Hajime's room, draped across his bed on her stomach. Nagito sat cross-legged beside her, eagerly watching her scribble from over her shoulder.

"I really like the melody, but..." he pressed his lips together for a moment. "don't you think that key signature is a little sad?"

"I guess it is." she frowned.

"What if you tried this instead?" He reached his hand out, gesturing for her to hand him the pencil. She complied, and he quickly scrawled down a few changes. "I just think Chiaki would want to hear something happier."

"You're right," she took the notebook back and analyzed his alterations. "I can work with this. Thanks, Hajime."

"You guys know what the music sounds like just by reading the notes?" Nagito asked without expecting an answer. "That must take so much talent...I wish I could hear it too." He was smiling, but there was a slight sadness behind it. (Y/N) realized he must have felt left out this whole time and immediately felt a twinge of guilt.

"We could go to the music room and work on this instead. It would probably be easier to have a piano nearby for this anyways." she suggested. "Hajime, you'll come too, right?" He nodded in agreement.

(Y/N) continued composing the song once they got to the music room, occasionally using the piano to test out some of her ideas. Hajime sat nearby, offering his input when necessary. Nagito seemed more content now that he was able to listen to something other than (Y/N) and Hajime's conversations filled with musical jargon. Even so, his boredom began to take over and he decided upon exploring the music room. There was a bookshelf, mostly full of sheet music and classical music CDs, which didn't particularly peak his interest. Nearby, there was a door that he assumed to be a storage closet of some sort. After he opened it, his assumption was proven correct. It was dusty and dark, but he could make out the outlines of different sized boxes and cases strewn about. There was one case in particular that caught his eye.

"Hey (Y/N), Hajime! Look what I found in this closet." he called out to them.

"A violin?" she asked. "I didn't realize we had one of those on this island."

"Yeah! You guys should play a duet." he suggested excitedly. (Y/N) and Hajime looked at each other before silently affirming the idea.

"That would be nice. It wouldn't take long to write a violin part." Without any hesitation, she jumped right into it.

\--

The day of the party came faster than (Y/N) wanted it to. Although her song was finished, the anxiety of playing for other people was slowly creeping in. They decided to have the party on Chandler Beach near the beach house. It was close enough to the diner that Teruteru could easily bring over food and they also found an electric keyboard in the music room's closet to use for the performance. There were only a few last-minute preparations to do, which some of the other students were already taking care of. (Y/N) was left alone with her thoughts and her violin, waiting for the time to pass. In an attempt to keep her hands and thoughts busy, she started unnecessarily tuning it.

"If you keep that up, you're going to break a string." (Y/N) was interrupted by a pair of arms encircling her waist from behind.

"I know. I'm just anxious, I guess." She sighed.

"You shouldn't be. Everyone is excited to hear your song." Nagito spoke cheerfully.

"I just write the songs. I don't perform. I can't do this. I can't!" she groaned. Without taking his arms off of her, he gently turned her around to face him.

"You can do this. Your talent is meant to shine for all to see!"

"My talent isn't playing the violin! I don't know why I agreed to this duet. I should have just made Hajime play the song alone."

"He plays like a robot compared to you."

"Nagito!"

"It's true. You'll do fine, (Y/N). Just look at me while you play." he pressed his lips to her forehead, which did help calm her nerves a little.

"Okay..." was all she managed to squeak out before he squeezed her so tightly she thought she was going to suffocate.

\--

Nagito stood with the rest of his classmates who were gathered around (Y/N) and Hajime. The sun was nearly set, and the fireworks were ready to fire off once the song was finished. He could tell (Y/N) was nervous by the way she kept idly kicking at the sand. All he could do was smile and hope that she would see it. And she eventually did because the next time he looked up at her, she was smiling too. His heart melted at the sight of her sparking (E/C) eyes, illuminatied with the warm glow of the setting sun. He must have been gazing at her too intensely because he noticed a blush was now painted over her cheeks.

"Chiaki..." Hajime started speaking. Everyone was quick to quiet down. "All you ever wanted was to save your classmates. They're saved. Every single one of them. And it wouldn't have been possible without your help." His voice started to choke up a little, so (Y/N) took over speaking before it became more noticeable.

"This song is for you, Chiaki. We just want to thank you and let you know that we're okay. If you can't hear our words, I hope you can hear our song." She looked over at Hajime and gave a nod. On cue, he started playing. The notes were high-pitched and gentle, like the stars twinkling in the sky. After a few measures of introduction, (Y/N) joined in on her violin. Her playing was slow and smooth at first, but the melody quickly picked up the pace. Her eyes were closed, and her body gently swayed along with the tempo of the music. To her, it was more that just a song being played, it was all of her emotions flowing from her fingertips and onto the strings.

Although (Y/N) was taking the lead with the violin, Hajime's piano playing was almost evenly matched. The notes bounced off each other, like they were perfectly in sync. They were two truly talented people who brought the song to life. Nagito couldn't help but notice the way they looked at each other as they played. The smiles shared between them were something more personal than just a friendly gesture. It was true respect and admiration for each other. Something that someone as talentless as himself would never experience. Talented people should be together. There was no place for him next to (Y/N), or at least that's how he felt watching the two of them together.

As the song finished, right on cue, the fireworks illuminated the night sky in an explosion of color. Everyone looked to the sky in awe, some with tears in their eyes, other with bittersweet smiles. Even with the colorful display above him, Nagito couldn't help but keep his eyes fixed on her. She was so beautiful under the fireworks. And to his surprise, she was looking at him too with the same love-struck look on her face. Without disconnecting their gaze, she made her way over to where he was standing. He felt her hand slowly intertwine with his as she took a spot next to him.

"I love you." She whispered in his ear as she leaned her head on his shoulder. He felt frozen in place, unable to respond. Everything felt so unreal. He loved her so much that he thought his heart would explode, yet in the moment, he was speechless. Without saying a word, he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. The flash of the fireworks looked red behind his closed eyes and the sound of the explosions seemed to be in rhythm with his heartbeat. After a moment, they pulled away from each other, attempting to catch their breaths.

"I love you too, (Y/N)." he finally responded. Their heartfelt moment was cut short by a voice speaking out to the group.

"Everyone, if you come to the beach house, I have presents for you all." It was Mahiru who spoke. She took the lead and everyone followed, eagerly chattering among themselves about the unexpected announcement. Inside the house, there was a stack of small books on one of the tables. Upon closer inspection, they looked to be photo albums.

"I've been working on these for a while. After I woke up from the program, I was going through my camera and I discovered it was full of pictures taken from our time at Hope's Peak." Mahiru explained. "These might help fill in the gaps in our missing memories." She carefully balanced the stack of albums in her hand and started passing them out.

"This one is for the both of you." Mahiru said. (Y/N) took the album from her hand and quickly flipped it open. The first page was a picture of their entire class posing for a group photo.

"Hey, there we are!" she pointed it out for Nagito to see. In the picture, he was standing in the back row of students with his hands on the shoulders of (Y/N) standing in front of him. She flipped to the next page, revealing another picture of the two of them together. This time, their arms were wrapped around each other's shoulder.

"I guess we were friends back then too." Nagito said as he reached over and flipped another page. It was another group photo, but this time there was something different.

"We're holding hands in this one..." her voice trailed off. She quickly turned to the next page, which confirmed her suspicions. The next picture showed Nagito pressing a kiss to her forehead while her face was heated up with embarrassment. Most likely due to the fact that they were obviously on camera at the time.

"More than friends..." he let out a small laugh.

"Let's not forget anymore, okay?" she closed the album and wrapped her arms around Nagito, letting her face rest against his chest. With nothing more to say, they remained silent in each other's arms.

\--

Hajime stood by watching everyone open their gifts from Mahiru. Since he was in the reserve course at Hope's Peak, he already expected to not be in any of the pictures. Nevertheless, he was still happy for everyone getting a chance to experience some of their lost memories, even if it was only through a photograph. Mahiru started walking towards him, still one photo album in her hand.

"You weren't really in any of these pictures, Hajime. I'm sorry. But I put together some photos I think you'd want to have." she smiled sadly at him. He opened the album to find a group photo of everyone on the first page.

"Thanks, Mahiru. This is really nice." He kept turning the pages. The next two photos were just pictures of (Y/N). In one picture she was intentionally smiling for the camera, the other was a more candid shot of her sitting outside under a tree, writing down something in a notebook. Hajime felt his face heat up.

"You're welcome!" she winked at him before walking back over to where some of the others were gathered.

"Hey, Hajime. What pictures did you get?" It was (Y/N)'s voice behind him. Frantically, he fumbled to turn the pages to something other than (Y/N)'s face before she could notice. He flipped to the next page, only to reveal two pictures of Nagito smiling cheerfully at the camera. It was too late to go back now. (Y/N) was already giggling over his shoulder.

"You can take those pictures out if you want." Nagito leaned over his shoulder to get a better view. "I'm sure you don't want to look at those."

"Shush, Nagito. They're staying." Hajime lightly elbowed the boy standing behind him. He could feel his face getting even redder now. The next few pictures were of Chiaki with her classmates. She was glued to her GameGirl Advance in most pictures, but there was a few of her smiling at the camera. The last picture in the album was out of place. It was a picture of a reserve course student, who he remembered as Sato, one of Mahiru's friends.

"Maybe this was put in here by mistake?" He wondered out loud. It was just a picture of the girl standing outside the school.

"Wait, Hajime, look!" (Y/N) pointed to the background of the picture. There was a fountain in the background with two figures sitting on the edge, eyes looking down at their handheld consoles.

"That's you and Chiaki!" Nagito chimed in.

Their conversation was cut off by a beeping sound in Hajime's pocket. He pulled out the communication device he was given by Makoto. Red text flashed across the screen. Apparently the beeping was loud enough that everyone ceased their conversations and looked in his direction.

"Guys..." he struggled to choke out the rest of the sentence. "There's been another killing game. The future foundation is in trouble."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for the long wait! Expect the next chapter soon because I have most of it finished already (was originally going to be part of this chapter but it got too long). Thanks for reading as always :)


	30. Bond

After receiving the news of the Future Foundation killing game, everyone made a unanimous decision to do everything they can to put an end to it. So, after a night of rest, class 77-B was planning on setting sail towards the Future Foundation's headquarters to rescue them from Monokuma. Even though everyone agreed it was their duty to help, the fear and anxiety in the air was almost tangible. Nobody knew what the state of the current world was going to be like, but from what they've been told, it was full of chaos and despair.

After helping clean up from the party, (Y/N) and Nagito retired to their cottage for the night. They both kept to their own thoughts as they silently got ready for bed. Since they were leaving so early in the morning, trying to sleep was the best thing they could do to prepare.

"Hey, (Y/N) ...maybe you should stay here tomorrow." Nagito said quietly, almost whispering. They were lying in bed together now, both staring up at the ceiling, unable to sleep.

"Why would I do that?" she turned towards him and raised an eyebrow, trying her best to read his expression.

"Well, it could be dangerous, y'know. And we haven't seen what the world is like outside this island yet, and—"

"I'm going. If the rest of you are going, I'm going too." Her mind was already made up.

"Okay." He didn't argue anymore. Instead, his face looked conflicted, like he was battling with his own thoughts now. It made (Y/N) almost wish he would have kept arguing with her, just so she could at least try to understand his thoughts.

"If you think it's so dangerous, then why don't you stay behind with me?"

"Because my luck might come in handy." he tried to smile at her, but she saw the insincerity behind it.

"Or is it because you still don't care if you live or die, as long as you become a 'stepping stone' for hope? Or whatever it is you always said before..."

"Quite the opposite actually." He let out a worried laugh. "It's because I care if _you_ live or die."

"Nagito..." Before she could formulate her thoughts into anything coherent, he kept talking.

"I know with my luck, I don't have to worry about me dying out there. But what if something happens to you?"

"What if something happens to any of us? It's a risk we all have to take. I can't just stay behind while everyone else risks their lives!"

"You're right, (Y/N), I know that...but that doesn't change how I feel."

"I'm afraid too... but—"

"No, you don't understand. I've already lost everyone close to me." he paused for a moment. "When I was in elementary school, both of my parents died in a plane crash. They died right in front of me. I was the only one who survived."

Nagito...I didn't know..." She could feel tears welling up in her eyes, but she tried her best to hold it in for his sake.

"And then when I finally returned to school after all that, I found out my best friend had moved away and transferred to a different school because his dad found a new job. And that same week, my dog got hit by a car and died."

"That really all happened?" her voice was heavy with disbelief. It pained her to imagine going through so much misfortune at such a young age.

"Yes. Some terrible luck, isn't it?" he laughed, but there was no smile in his eyes. "I made the decision to never get close to anyone ever again after that. Until I met you, of course. I've been so selfish, letting myself fall in love with you."

"But Nagito...you fell in love with me while we were at Hope's Peak Academy. We have pictures to prove that now."

"Yes, that's true."

"And then again in the Neo World Program after we lost our school memories. We thought it was our first time ever meeting."

"Yes..."

"And then again when I tried to wake you up from your dream."

"Where are you going with this?" he raised an eyebrow at her.

"That's three separate times we've fallen in love. And I'm still alive, aren't I? Don't you think your luck would have killed me off after the first time or two?"

"I don't know, (Y/N). I've never experienced anything like this before. Usually my luck cycle was the one thing I could rely on."

"Maybe there's a more powerful work at force. Something that surpasses both good and bad luck."

"Hmm?"

"Maybe it's love."

For the first time, Nagito looked stumped. He had no idea how to refute the idea. Was it actually possible that love was enough to override the horrible cycle of luck that had taken over his life for so long? It was the only explanation that made any sort of sense.

"Maybe it is." he whispered. "But I'm still scared. I don't want you to get hurt out there."

"Then just keep me close to you tomorrow. I'll be fine." She tried her best to give him a brave smile, but it was weak.

"Can I keep you close to me tonight?" his voice was soft and sweet, almost a whisper. He propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at her. His other hand lightly brushed away a loose strand of hair from her face.

"Yes." was all she said. Without hesitation, he closed the gap between them, leaning down to kiss her. Before long, he was almost fully on top of her. His weight was heavy but comforting against her. Their kiss deepened, and she found it hard to catch her breath. Eventually, they broke away, both panting heavily.

"(Y/N)." he breathed. "Can I?" his hands made their way to the hem of her shirt and his fingertips felt cool against the skin of her stomach. All she could manage to do was nod. In the moment, she felt speechless. Slowly, he lifted her shirt up and she outstretched her arms, allowing him to fully remove it. The air felt cold against her chest, but the feeling didn't last long. He pressed his lips along the trail of her neck, slowly making his way down to her collarbone and continuing. When he got to her chest, he hesitated and looked up towards (Y/N), as if he was asking for permission to go on.

"Please," her voice was quiet and breathy, but still audible. She tugged on the back of his shirt, trying to pull it off. He complied and helped her slip it off over his head. His pale skin was soft against her and she let her hands run freely along his back while he continued kissing her chest. This time, she could feel the wetness of his tongue against her and she writhed in pleasure. Without thinking, her legs wrapped around his torso and pulled him even closer against her. He lifted his head back up to face her again and they made eye contact for a moment. His hands were on either side of her head to hold himself up and the rest of his body was nestled in the empty space between her legs. She wrapped her arms and legs tighter around him and pulled their mouths together. Her lips parted slightly, inviting him in. He took the bait and carefully let his tongue explore the opening of her mouth.The kiss only stopped when she felt a wetness fall onto her cheeks, and it wasn't from her own eyes.

"Nagito?" she turned her head to the side slightly, breaking away from his lips. "Are you alright?" There were tears escaping his eyes, leaving a glistening trail down his face.

"I'm fine. Sorry to worry you." He tried to keep his voice as steady as possible.

"Do you want to stop?" She asked him.

"Yes..." he looked away from her eyes.

"How come?" Her voice trembled and she tried her best to cover up the disappointment in her voice.

"You're so beautiful, (Y/N). I feel like being with me would be a disgrace. Someone as pure as you shouldn't be defiled by someone as disgusting as me."

"If you don't want this, I can't force you. We can stop." She sighed.

"I do want this, but I know we shouldn't. I don't even know what to do. I've never done anything like this before. I would be a disappointment."

"I've never done this either, Nagito."

"All the more reason to stop. Would you really want to give up your innocence to someone like me?"

"To someone I love dearly with all my heart that I'm physically attracted to? Yes, yes I would."

"I-I, well, you--" his eyes widened as he failed to form a coherent response.

"You really need to stop thinking with here--" she tapped a finger on his forehead, "and start thinking more with this." She brought her hand down to the front of his pants. He let out a quiet gasp, taken off guard by the sudden touch. Even through layers of clothing, she could feel the stiffness underneath.

"I just don't want you to regret this later."

"Don't you think it's up to me if I want to take the risk or not?"

"I suppose..." He sounded almost defeated.

"So do you want this?

"I've never wanted anything more, (Y/N). I want you so bad. Is it selfish of me to want something like this?" His voice was suddenly breathy.

"No, because I want it too."

Her words seemed to finally get through to him, because before long, the remainder of their clothing was tossed aside on the floor. Everything suddenly felt so urgent and their hands clumsily grazed each other as they continued to connect their lips.

"Ready?" (Y/N) finally broke away from their kiss and Nagito remained hovering over her.

"Okay." He whisperer quietly as he adjusted his position. As instructed, Nagito tried his best to be slow and gentle, gaging her reaction as he carefully eased his way inside her. She let out a quiet gasp that froze him in his place.

"Did I hurt you? Should I stop?" He was suddenly panicked as the words choked out of him.

"A little. But it's fine now. I think it was a bad angle." She reassured him. He was hesitant, but he kept pushing himself deeper until he couldn't anymore. "That's good," Her voice was shakier than she wanted it to be. She didn't realize how much she was trembling. Mostly because she was nervous, but also because there was a small wave of pleasure from the feeling of Nagito inside her. He hadn't moved yet, still waiting for her reaction to keep going.

"Just go slow at first please." Carefully, he started pressing himself into her. She felt so fragile and he didn't want to go any faster, but it was difficult to resist. He restrained himself the best he could and found a gentle rhythm that seemed pleasurable for both of them.

"Is that okay?" He panted, looking to her eyes for confirmation.

"Mhm. Keep...more, please." She struggled to speak between breaths. Eventually he obliged her request and picked up the speed a little. It wasn't much longer after that before he felt himself about to burst.

"(Y/N)...I think I'm going to--" he breathed heavily.

"Just pull out." He followed the order and removed himself from inside her. She quickly reached up and stroked him a few times, allowing him to empty himself on her stomach. They were both quiet for a moment, letting everything sink in while they caught their breath.

"I love you." He said quietly.

"I love you too, but can you get me a towel please?"

\--

They woke up to knocking on their door the next morning. The warm glow of the barely- rising sun painted the room a fiery orange color. They were still tangled up in each other, not bothering to put on clothes before falling asleep last night.

"We're awake!" (Y/N) called out to the knocker, clearly in no position to quickly answer the door.

"Good. We're planning on leaving in ten minutes." The voice called from the other side of the door. It sounded like Hajime.

"Okay, be right out." She yelled back. _Ten minutes?! Crap_ , she thought. "Nagito, wake up!"

"Mm, five more minutes." He grumbled happily, snuggling himself more into her.

"The boat's gonna leave without us!"She gently shook him one more time. Sensing the urgency in her voice, he snapped awake. They did their best to quickly make themselves look as presentable as possible and made their way to the beach where the ship was docked. They were the last to arrive, which drew attention to them from their other classmates who were already gathered near the dock.

"'Bout time you guys showed up." Kazuichi groaned, tapping his foot impatiently.

"You just got here a minute ago, idiot." Fuyuhiko elbowed him in the gut, causing him to flinch in pain.

"Ibuki thinks (Y/N)'s hair looks totally rockin' this morning!" Ibuki's chimed in, her voice way too chipper for this early. (Y/N) suddenly felt extremely self-conscious. They were in such a rush this morning, she didn't have time to do anything to her hair. Thanks to their activities from the night before, her hair was looking wilder than the normal bedhead she usually had. She tried to hide the embarrassment in her face tried to comb out her hair with her fingers quickly.

"You look beautiful." Nagito wrapped an arm around her shoulders and leaned down to press a kiss on top of her head. She melted into his arms, taking whatever solace she could get before they set off on their mission. Just the thought of another killing game taking place made her stomach feel like it was going to fall through the floor. The Future Foundation was their last hope for undoing the despair that had plagued the world and seeing them succumb to another killing game was unsettling.

Once everyone was finally ready, it was time for their ship to set sail. It would be several hours before they reached the Future Foundation headquarters and there was little for entertainment on the way there. The feeling of tension in the dread in the air was palpable. Some of the students attempted to make small talk but it seemed to be more relaxing just to listen to the sound of the waves crashing against the side of the ship. (Y/N) and Nagito were leaned up against the railing, gazing out at the seemingly endless ocean in front of them.  


"Hey, (Y/N)? Can I talk to you for a second?" It was Hajime who spoke behind her.

"Sure. Be right back, Nagito." She placed a hand on top of his and smiled at him before scampering off after Hajime. He led her inside one of ship's cabins. He closed the door behind them after ensure that nobody saw them enter.

"What's going on?" She asked him. He didn't answer right away but instead reached for something near the waist of his pants.

"I want you to have this." He pulled out a small handgun and sat it on an end table next to where they were standing.

"Hajime, I don't know how...I couldn't--"

"It's not real. It's an air gun. You don't even need to shoot it. Just threatening someone with it should be enough to fend off attackers."

"I don't know if I feel comfortable with that. I don't think I'm capable of threatening anyone."

"Please, (Y/N). It would give me peace of mind."

"You're worried about me?" She almost whispered.

"I'm worried about everyone."

"Did you give them all guns too?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"I worry about some more than others." He looked down at the floor as he spoke. She carefully reached out and picked up the gun. It was a lot lighter than it looked and it felt cold and clumsy in her hands.

"You won't be able to kill anyone with that, but still be careful where you point it. Keep it where nobody can see." He explained. She carefully tucked it under her belt.

"Thank you, Hajime. I'll be worrying about you too, y'know." She reached a hand out and let it rest on the side of his arm for a moment.

"Just worry about yourself and Nagito. Keep him safe, okay? He might need more than luck to protect him this time." He let out a slightly nervous laugh.

"But what about you? Do you have something to protect yourself with?"

"I'll be fine without one. And besides, I have ultimate luck too, remember? Although, not as good as Nagito's" he joked.

"What makes you think his luck is better?" She asked, ignoring his attempt at lightening the mood. "Your other talents are just as good as anyone else's, maybe even better."

"Because he's lucky enough to have you." He spoke fast, immediately regretting the words that left his lips. "C'mon, let's go back outside to the others." He tired changing the subject.

"Hajime..."

"I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable." 

"You know, sometimes, I feel like I'm luckier than both of you." She said quietly. He looked at her inquisitively, waiting for her to explain. "I have not just one, but two people who care about me this much. I just wish I could make everyone happy." They were both silent for a moment before Hajime finally spoke up.

"Nagito's probably wondering what's taking you so long. You should go back to him."

"But Hajime..."

"Go." His voice was stern and she knew there was no arguing. She left him alone in the cabin and made her way back to Nagito. Thankfully, he didn't pry into her conversation with Hajime. For the remainder of the trip, they shared a comfortable silence as they watched their ship sail closer to the destination. The sky was darkening, and not because of the lack of sun. Dark clouds of ashes filled the sky, giving it an eerie reddish glow. The reality finally sunk in that they were leaving their peaceful, secluded island and sailing headfirst into despair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We back, boys. Thanks for still sticking with the story even after 2 months of no update! I tried to make the chapter extra long to make up for the wait and also tried my best at making it a little s p i c y (but still realistic). I hope to wrap things up soon, since I only have a couple more chapters planned. Thank you all for the comments! They make this really enjoyable to write :)


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